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Toni Reece: Thank you so much, Scott, for agreeing to be part of the project today, and before we begin, can you please introduce yourself?

Scott Ventrella: I’m Scott Ventrella, President of Positive Dynamics.

Toni: Positive Dynamics – I like that title.

Scott: Thank you.

Toni: So, Scott, when you think about that word inspiration, who do you think you inspire and how do you do that?

Scott: Well, you know, in life we wear a lot of different hats, and so if I think about those various hats – for instance as a husband and a father – I certainly like to believe that I inspire my wife and two kids.  I’m an adjunct professor in three different universities, and I believe that as a professor I inspire my students.  I’m also a public speaker, and I do workshops and things like that, so the participants and the people that come to, you know, my workshops and presentations, I’d like to believe again that – in fact, that’s the goal for me as a Positive Dynamics representative is to inspire others.

Toni: So how do you go about that?

Scott: Well, I don’t know if I do that consciously.  I like to focus on what gives my own life meaning and what I believe my purpose is, what I believe I’ve been called to do in terms of my life’s work, and then I go out and do it.  It’s primarily I think in two ways – the expressed, you know, through verbal and written expression, right, through books and through the presentations, so people just hearing my words and the way … the way that I convey, let’s say, certain ideas.

And then of course the nonverbal, and I think we can inspire others.  We can inspire others just by what we do — you know, being a good role model.  I remember some people say like ethics and integrity — it’s what you do when no one’s watching or when you don’t think anybody’s watching, and I think that can be very inspirational.

Toni: So the work that you do and even in the relationships that you have and being focused on what gives your life meaning and leading by example and showing that to others, how do you think that might help someone else help explore their own potential?

Scott: Well, hopefully, when somebody becomes inspired whether, again, through the written word or through a behavior, that would then prompt them to, let’s say, move into a seeking role.  I’ll give you an example.  You know, early on, probably my early twenties just as I was getting through the end of my four-year college degree, I wanted to … I was inspired by people of faith, right?

Growing up as a Catholic it’s … growing up as Catholic, it wasn’t something really that I had a choice in, it’s something that you could say was either imposed upon on myself and my siblings.  And I kind of had, I’d say, more or less neutral feelings.  But at some point I came to the realization that I need to own it, whatever that is – my spirituality, my religion — and I started to do a little bit of research on people who again created … I was inspired by … in other words, people who had turned their lives around.  Norman Vincent Peale was one of those people.  You know, many people might remember him as the author of The Power of Positive Thinking and inspired and impacted the lives of millions of people over about a 50-year period.

So as an example, that inspiration, seeing how he and others had been inspired and had changed their life inspired me then to go into kind of a personal seeking, you know, exploring more fully and more or less on my terms what my spirituality meant to me and really, truly becoming … getting to a place where I could own that.  And I did that, and it was the most profound and incredible experience I’ve ever had.

Toni: So it was really the learning that you were seeking to take ownership of this particular area of your life, and do you …

Scott: Absolutely.

Toni: Do you think that by providing that as an example to others, that others will also maybe come into their own potential that way, to own some of their potential or to identify their potential?

Scott: Well, you know, I think so.  You know, I see potential … part of that is really a discernment process.  In other words, you know, many people walk through life and they’re not asking the questions, they’re not asking the bigger questions.  You know, one of the courses that I teach at Fordham University in New York City – this is at the graduate level – is conducted in using the Socratic Method where I’m asking questions, where I’m asking the big questions, philosophical questions about the meaning of life.  These are … you know, these are business students.  These are people who work on Wall Street and have taken this class to really begin to explore their own lives on a much deeper level.

So many people don’t either … they’re not aware or they don’t take the time to examine, you know, their lives and how they’re living their lives, or to really discern what it is that they’re being called to do.  Now potential … so let’s say now you go down that road and you decide, you know, potential … potential in what?  My potential as an employee?  My potential as a CEO, as an executive coach, as a professor, as an athlete?  There’s so many different … you know, are we talking about fulfilling our potential broadly?  I think many of us think of that more, let’s say, in narrower terms.  You know, “I want to be the best ‘fill-in-the-blank’ that I can possibly be.”

Toni: Absolutely, but it is realizing that, one, maybe you haven’t reached it; two, that you can.  And maybe you’re going to help them identify that they have so much more potential than they ever thought they could.

Scott: Yeah, and I think that’s an excellent point, thank you, and I would agree that I think it’s a combination of things.  It is … you’re right; the individual must first come to the realization that, you know, “I think there is more and there’s … I have much more potential than I ever imagined,” and that could certainly come about through … you know, I’d like to believe that I have, in fact, feedback from over the years, 25 years of doing this.  I believe that there’s certainly strong evidence that for better, for worse I’ve been responsible for inspiring others.  People come back to me and say “Oh my gosh, as a result of either taking this class or reading your book, I’ve made a major change, never thinking before that I could have done this.”

But at some point that, of course, can be somewhat self-serving, because I don’t think any of us have that, you know, that kind of … the power over other people.  At some point, the individual again has to own that, and then I’d like to think that I’ve become more of a guide to … you know, just when they think that they’ve had enough or they can’t do any more, they can’t reach any further heights, that’s where I believe — whether it’s me or a coach or mentor — can begin to … “Now wait a minute, you know, consider this,” or “Have you really believed that, you know, you’ve exhausted all possibilities?”

Toni: That’s very, very true.  I think … I think the fact that you help them to own it, you know, is pretty critical by being a mentor or a coach.  So when you think about this, Scott, as far as inspiring others, what is it you need to be inspired?

Scott: Well, I need to make sure that I’m staying as centered as possible.  For me, it’s my faith base, quite clearly and simply put.  So for me to stay inspired, you know, the source, the greatest source of my inspiration comes from God.  Now, I’m not an evangelical Christian, but … in fact, I’ve owned … I’ve come full circle and am a practicing Catholic, so the source of my inspiration doesn’t come from the religion necessarily.

Some people say, “Well, I’m spiritual but not religious.”  I think that’s just a big excuse not to have to worry about the religious aspects.  It’s kind of part and parcel.  I won’t get too deep into that right now, but there’s a strong connection.  You know, to say you’re spiritual without, you know, acknowledging, let’s say the … it’s almost like listening to a beautiful piece of classical music and not acknowledging a Beethoven or a Mozart or a Chopin, or looking at a beautiful painting and not acknowledging, you know, Da Vinci as the creator.  Okay, so that’s the primary.  The greatest source of inspiration for me is from the Creator, God, who is a very specific entity.  It’s not just some, you know, universal energy.  It is a universal energy, but it’s a very conscious, deliberate, loving universal energy known as God.

So that’s the greatest source of inspiration, and underneath that I would say the people that are the closest to me — you know, my wife, my kids, people who mean a lot in my own life.  And then if you were to draw some circles, it would certainly be then also people that, you know, historical or otherwise, you know, living, breathing human beings today who, you know, because of what they have done, what they have achieved, and usually along the lines not in terms of wealth, you know, amassing wealth, but in contributing and making the world a better place I’m inspired by.

Those are ways that I can become inspired just by … I pay attention.  I do a lot of reading and listening and try to, you know, see what other people are doing and that certainly is a source of inspiration to me.

Toni: Do you find yourself reaching for the same tools, methodologies, when you are seeking inspiration or you know, you’re just a little low in that area?  Do you find yourself reaching for the same things?

Scott: For the most part, but if I’m in a … if I find that I’m in, you know, kind of stuck in a gear or stuck in the mud, I may try to change it up a little bit.  Yeah, I may try to do something radically different or something a little bit out of the norm.  I’m an avid runner.  I get inspired when I run.  In fact, sometimes I’m at my most creative … you know, people say “Well, in the shower I came up with this idea.”  When I’m on a run — and I usually do a minimum of seven miles each outing, so I get a lot of time to think — when I get back, my gosh, I’m brimming with ideas.  I’m writing things down, whether it’s to serve a coaching client or the next book that I’m working on, or a problem that I’m trying to solve.

But again, back to your point, yeah, I do think sometimes we kind of get caught into kind of a pattern or even a little bit of a rut relative to where we get the inspiration.  Part of this also is based on our personality.  Many people are familiar with Myers-Briggs.  I’m an introvert, believe it or not.  I do a lot of public … there are a lot of actors who are introverts, right?  It doesn’t mean that you can’t be outgoing.

So some people … to inspire, you know, if you’re an introvert along the lines of Myers-Briggs, then we generally, you know, get that inspiration through … just internally.  We can be sitting in a room or, you know, completely alone.  Other people, I think it’s good to be around other people, and there’s a great comfort in that and there can be great inspiration being in a crowd, let’s say, and having that interaction and the exchange.

Toni: Have you always been very positive and centered?  Have you always been aware that those were your attributes and that that’s what it took for you to move towards your purpose?

Scott: Yeah, for me … for me, Toni, yes.  And again, I’ll go back.  Like I said, I’m actually very private about my religion, and I can … you know, people who kind of criticize, you know, either various religions or Christianity … there’s a lot of people who have given that kind of a black eye and rightly so because, you know, they’ve done some terrible things, especially, you know, even in my own church, unfortunately, but I don’t condemn the … I look at the bigger picture.

So I would say again, going back to a very early age, because positive thinking for me is a synonym for faith and, for me, I have always been positive.  But the greatest source of that has been, you know, my commitment to my faith.  Now I’m not a perfect human being, so please don’t get the wrong idea … don’t get the idea that I’m not trying to put myself out there as some kind of a perfect human being; I’m not.  But I’ve always felt a very strong connection, and I’ve been fortunate enough to be around people of faith who have served as good role models, and I take that now as an obligation to also serve as a good role model.

You cannot be a contradiction.  I teach Ethics.  I can’t teach Ethics and then be engaged in a lot of unethical behavior.  I’m not saying I’ve never done anything unethical, but I hold myself up to a higher standard.  That is, again, I have a deep commitment to my Catholic Christian faith.  I’ve had a very profound, you know, deep spiritual experience on a few occasions, and that has given me more or less an unwavering … you know, that has been really, again, a genuine source of inspiration and positive thinking.

And I have been, you know, by personality let’s say — although I would argue, and I have argued and I’ve written and spoken on this — that positive thinking is really in everybody.  It’s a God-given trait in a sense, or an attribute.  And unfortunately what happens is we move away from that.  We learn negativity.  We learn negative thinking.

The good news is, if you believe that, and of course the jury … there’s debate around that, but I think there’s strong evidence, strong empirical evidence that would suggest that positive thinking is mostly … you know, if you’ve seen any negative babies … you know, babies are generally confident and very happy, outgoing, optimistic, and what happens is we generally … we learn the negative and then it takes a while to kind of shake that and re-experience, let’s say, rediscover, that positiveness that’s innately in all of us.

Toni: So what do you do then to continuously explore your own potential so you can continue on the path that you are living up to your own potential?

Scott: Yeah.  You know, I’m always trying to push the limits, but first and foremost … and Toni, I’m going to sound like a broken record, but it would be a disservice … I don’t want to say what I think people might want to hear, I’m going to say what I actually do.  You asked a straight question.  I generally, in those moments when I’m looking for that, I go into a place of deep prayer, meditation, you know, reconnecting with the faith, and I think a lot of people simply don’t do that.  I don’t do it as much as I should.

But also, it’s by trying things or trying new things.  Let me give you a quick example – two quick examples.  You know, one is when I wanted to write my first book, well, you know, it’s easy to put up excuses.  You know, I’m not a writer.  I was a C student in English.  You know, I can’t string together a paragraph or two.  I’m just terrible with the written expression, but I was convinced – this goes back to the purpose – I was convinced that I had a message that needed to get out there, and part of my purpose and mission is to impact people in a positive way, to contribute to others … the well being of others.

So that’s what drove me to do something that I did not think possible.  I wrote this book.  Then I thought “Well, I’ll never find a publisher.”  Simon and Schuster is a decent publisher – they published the book, and the next thing you know it’s out in 24 countries, and I’m impacting people all over the world in cultures that I never even imagined.

When I decided to run my first marathon, I had never run more than two miles.  Now, anybody who’s never run more than two miles or a mile for that matter, when you think of 26.2 miles, it’s overwhelming.  Potential?  What is … my potential may be five miles.  My point there is, you know, when you ask what do I do to kind of explore that potential, is, one of the things I try not to do is to put up artificial barriers by saying “Well, I can’t do that.  It’s absolutely impossible.”

When you do two and you get to five and you think “Well okay, now I’ve got to do five times that – forget that!  Let me just go back to bed and get a box of donuts and hang out.”  And then you get to the 10 and you think “Oh my gosh, you’re dead almost,” and you think “I’ve got to do this, another 16.”

So the idea is to continue to push and continue to shut out that negative thinking, that inner self-talk that does nothing more than create a distraction.  And don’t listen to people who … definitely separate yourself from people who are uninspiring, right, and will do everything in their power to convince you to, you know, kind of get off your game plan.

Toni: Oh, absolutely, and they’re out there everywhere.  But I’ll tell you, if more people had this type of, I don’t know, centered mission and purpose as you do, and I appreciate you answering the questions from your perspective because that’s what the Project is all about, and it’s not what other people want to hear, it’s what you have to say, and that’s what you’ve done.  And so, on behalf of the Get Inspired! Project, we thank you for that.

Scott: Well thank you.  It was good to be part of this.

Toni: Thank you, and take care of yourself, Scott.

Scott: Okay, Toni, you too.

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For more information about Scott Ventrella:

ME, INC. How to Master the Business of Being You: A Personalized Program for Exceptional Living

The Power of Positive Thinking in Business: 10 Traits for Maximum Results

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Toni Reece: Thank you so much, Marie, for agreeing to be part of the Project, and before we begin, can you please introduce yourself?

Marie Lake: Yes, hi.  My name is Marie Lake.  I am an entertainer.  I have a background in all kinds of things, but mostly standup comedy.  I also do a little bit of funny music, and also had day jobs, everything from sales to trade shows to teaching ESL, who knows, and you can … I would love for people to visit me or get a little bit of my point of view at my blog, which is funnyblonde.com; that’s sort of a hub where you can find everything I do.  I’ve got a couple new projects, but I’m sure we’ll talk about those as we’re being interviewed, so …

Toni: Well thank you so much.  Let’s talk about inspiration, and when you when you think of that word, who do you inspire and how you do that?

Marie: Wow.  I think … it’s so funny to think of myself as inspiring people, you know, because we’re all so in our heads trying to make stuff happen for ourselves, you know, and then … I think … I’ve always been an optimist, so I think I definitely, if you’re in something like my background with standup — and a lot of people go into standup because they’re dissatisfied or unhappy or something to complain about, you know, conflict makes a great comedy.

So I have nothing against that, but I do think, you know, people tend to cluster together and become very negative, and I am an optimist, so I really think I inspire other performers, especially people who have that sort of … that little subculture of the performing world of “Oh, it’s hard.  Oh, there’s a lot of lack.  There’s not a lot of opportunity.”  Or “Oh, it’s, you know, this is a problem, this is a limitation.”  Because I am, you know, unusually optimistic, and I’m hoping I’m inspiring my fellow performers for that very reason, you know?

Toni: Well I do like the phrase that you use, “There’s a lot of lack” and when you’re looking to inspire other performers — and I would imagine even you can be inspirational in your comedy when you’re doing your standup — but can you go a little bit more into what that means, “A lot of lack?”

Marie: Oh, yeah.  Well, I think … I think if you were to go up to someone and, say you’re in show business, the first thing they do is go “Oh, that’s hard … oooh.”  You know, I never, when someone tells me they’re an insurance agent or a banker, go “Oh, that’s hard … oooh … well, are you writing up those policies?”  There’s a lot of saying that to entertainers.

So, when I say lack, this whole idea of competition, competition for jobs, you have to be a certain type, you have to be this, if you’re a woman you have to be sort of secondary.  In my field, you have to play the wife of the funny guy on the sitcom – you never could be the he funny one.  Things like that, and you really start looking at that and going well – this is probably the entrepreneur in me – I’m like “Well, maybe the best roles I’ll play are the ones I create.”  Maybe when women are thinking “Oh, Hollywood wants me to be this, this, or this.”  They’ll see me on stage and go “She’s breaking” — you know, not that I’m certainly that groundbreaking — but “She’s breaking out of a few boxes here and there, and she has an unexpected spin on things,” you know?

Toni: Well, that’s a great way to describe that, and it just fits beautifully with the second question, which is, how do you think you help explore other people’s potential?  Or, how do you help them to explore their potential?

Marie: I’m trying to think of situations I’ve been in.  I think that when … you know, other performers often, you know, bounce ideas off of each other.  I also think, you know … I told you my background, and I’m really lucky for this question’s sake that my background is also in sales, and I’ve done some really interesting sales jobs.

And I really think a lot of it is your language, you know, the way you frame things, the way you script what’s going on.  So once again, if there’s that group of people in the break room saying they’re not getting any sales or it’s tough out there, it’s the whole idea of shaking that off and let’s talk about another strategy, or let’s talk about what is working, or let’s get out of the minutia of what’s not working.

Comedy is the same thing.  We help … you know, I was just sitting down with another female standup and she’s toured for two-and-a-half years and decided she hated it.  You know, decided that it was lonely.  And here she got really excellent at something and now she doesn’t like it, so we started exploring well, what else do you do with this talent, or how do you say “Hey, I have this talent, but I don’t want to do it anymore?”  We’re talking about the possibility of writing a stage play together or, you know, something different.  But sometimes you need that outside, just that outside voice to tell you it’s okay to have worked really hard for something and then maybe do it in a different way.

Toni: So really what you do is … it mirrors, I would believe, with your own life as well, that you provide options, that it doesn’t need to be negative.  It doesn’t need to be a lot of lack, that there are options that you can do what you’d like because, as you stated at the beginning of the interview, you do a lot.  You have a lot of diverse talents, and so I would imagine you’ve created many options and choices for yourself, and that’s what you try to do for others as well.

Marie: Yeah, I think that’s a good way to put it, absolutely.  Especially because I think I went from being very passive, you know, when I first hit Hollywood with just pictures and resumes and just being passive and hoping somebody saw me a certain way, or hoping this went this way or hoping I drove across town and I beat out everybody else for this one part, you know.  And then I started going “You know, that part is not as interesting as what I could say onstage myself about my life – that’s way more entertaining.  Here’s an option where I feel more in control and less powerless.”  I’m at the mercy of other people’s vision of me.

Toni: And that’s fantastic, and what a way to provide that as an example for others so that they can follow their own potential.

Marie: I think so.

Toni: So what inspires you?

Marie: What inspires me?  You know, it’s interesting.  Great performances.  I try to go out and be an audience to things a few nights a week.  I’m a little hyper at night anyway.  So really good, connected performances where people show their humanity, where people are smart, you know?  I just think there’s no substitute for live performing, and there’s less and less of that because people are so, you know, into technology and looking at that as their only way of performing.

I’m also thinking of another thing, and this is … I’m learning this more, is that a lot of us, you know, I’ve gone back.  My first thing ever that I did was to study dance, so I’ve gone back to getting more physical.  So I suggest people who live in their heads too much and are, you know, trying to figure out an answer to a problem or they feel stuck, things like yoga, dance.  Take an improv comedy class, even if you’re in any other field.  Get out of your head.  That’s very inspirational.  You can tell from talking I’m very verbal, so I totally need to do that.  Go for a walk and talk to yourself.  It’s something.  Well, there’s a lot of that where I live in Santa Monica, but that’s another story.

Toni: So have you always shown up in this very bright way, in this very, “You know what?  I’m going to create this for myself,” and you know, knowing that you have these options and choices, have you always been aware of that or has that been an evolution for you?

Marie: I guess I think it’s an evolution.  I think I’ve always been kind of an optimist and always sort of a doer, you know, and my parents would like look at me and go “What is going on?  We’re not pushing you, why are you doing so much?”  But the thing of feeling a little more powerful or a little more like people can’t tell me something’s not going to work, that sort of thing, “I’m going to create this,” that came out of necessity.

I think I told you earlier before we got on the air that comedy is, you know … some people define it as tragedy plus time, which is so funny, but you can go through a really challenging time and then see what’s funny about it, or see why your spin on things is different from everybody else’s and you want to share that.  So that’s new for me, you know, that going from just trying to do everything by the rules to saying “Hey, I can create this.”  That’s definitely been an evolution.

Toni: So it’s basically taking maybe some challenging times you might have gone through yourself and trying to find the comedy in them?

Marie: Absolutely, or thinking … you know, I had a roommate once and she had gone through a divorce and so had I, and I had a really like positive experience with this in many ways, which if, you know, if you watch a lot of television and stuff, women are never supposed to feel that way about divorce.  You’re not going to see that on Lifetime.  You know, I had written a script about it, and they kept trying to get me to change it to where I’d be more of a victim, because then they thought audiences would like me better.

My roommate said, “Please, for my sake and the sake of other women out there, do it with your own point of view.  Do it with this lighthearted point of view; do something different.”  So I just thought that was interesting, that I felt like I was doing something for my target audience out there, to try to make everybody like me, which seems to be so key.

Toni: You know, it’s really interesting when you talk about creating your own way and carving your own path and not, you know, not conforming to the norm, but you also said a couple of times now your point of view – that’s really what you’re doing is you’re carving out a space from your point of view and not letting other people’s point of views get in the way.

Marie: Well, yeah.  And of course everything’s a collaboration and, of course, when you want to make money or have people invest money or people put it on a network or something, I’m sure there are concessions you have to make, but that should be more of a collaboration from people who kind of get you in the first place as opposed to you twisting yourself up trying to please everybody.

Toni: So how will you continuously explore your own potential?

Marie: Wow.  I really think … you know, I really think in a way here I kind of knock technology, but I really think things like what you’re doing, sort of getting my message out there on the web, getting the characters I’ve written out on the web where I do have a little more control over how they end up appearing and I can market them myself is really a great thing.  I think it’s leveled the playing field for a lot of entertainers.

Toni: Again, it’s carving it from your point of view.

Marie: Right; and I’m also going to try to make money.  I think that helps explore potential, finance it a little, but that’s okay.  I mean, you know, it all meshes together.

Toni: So when you are looking for a little inspiration yourself and you … you know, you talked about how you go through live performances and so forth and you just want to make sure that I can capture this from you, are there things that you do on a consistent basis that you continuously reach for that inspire you and then also will help you to continue to explore your own potential?  Are there consistent things you reach for?

Marie: When you say reach for, are you talking about activities, or tools, or …

Toni: Yeah, anything; it could be tools, it could be activities, it could be resources.  What do you tend to go to?

Marie: You know, it’s so funny – some days it’s like red velvet cake; other days it’s like … but no, I consistently, like I said, try to get out of my head with either something physical.  I can’t say enough about that, because I’ve just been reading a lot about warriorship and how a lot of us think we can change our world just by changing our mind, but sometimes you access your mind through your body, if that makes any sense.

Toni: Absolutely. 

Marie: Does it?  Oh, good!  I’ve just been reading that.  It’s kind of heavy and I’m sort of trying to figure it all out.  So seriously, something physical, either a dance class or a yoga class every week.  I try to, even like I said, drop in on an improv, where I’m just getting out of my head.  And then also I’ve been concerned about the quality of the things I do lately, so I have the idea now of just showing up to practice the things I do, practice my live act, work on my voice, think of a new way to do the character, write.

You know, an acquaintance of mine was a finalist on Last Comic Standing, and he gave a workshop on people can like monetize their comedy careers and do better and get more work, and he’s just a great, giving, wonderful guy, and he said “Write every day.  Are you writing?”  We’d have that point of view; every day something happens that you could write about.  So I think the idea of, you know, like I said, getting out of your head and finding a way to do that weekly.  I go to something called Agape Spiritual Center, I’m sure you’ve heard of that or you will hear of that on your interviews.

Toni: And what is the name of it again?

Marie: It’s called Agape Spiritual Center here in … it’s in Culver City.  Yeah, it’s religious without so much doctrine and just a lot of ideas about you dropping your worries and just being your best self, and it’s very, very cool.  So that’s … definitely weekly I have to do something like that, and then daily practicing because I think quality is really important, and I think people drop that piece of it sometimes.  I think it’s enough just to be inspired or just to feel good about things, but I still think you need to sort of drill the thing you do best and make it good and make it better.

Toni: Always raise the standard.

Marie: Yeah.

Toni: Well, you have been just a delight in this interview.

Marie: Good!

Toni: And with the information that you have shared, there’s going to be some great takeaways for people that are listening and reading your interview.  Thank you so very much, and good luck to you with everything that you are accomplishing and what you will accomplish in the future.  We look forward to seeing new things from you as well.

Marie: Sure.

Toni: Thank you so much for agreeing to be part of the Project.

Marie: Thank you, Toni.  It’s awesome.

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For more information about Marie Lake :   www.funnyblonde.tv, www.myspace.com/armcandyla

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Toni Reece: Thank you so much, Gary, for agreeing to be part of the Project today.

Gary Hawkins: Absolutely.

Toni: Well, before we begin can you introduce yourself?

Gary: Sure.  My name is Gary Hawkins.  I’m the owner of the Griswold Special Care, which is part of a nationwide franchise.  I’m located in Berks County, Pennsylvania.  I’m the owner of the Berks County office.  I’m also the chairperson and cofounder of the Circle of Life Coalition which is a nonprofit.  We are dedicated to the education and awareness of end-of-life care.  I’m the owner of Boomer Generation Media, Incorporated.  I do a lot of Boomer … a radio station on the internet, BoomerGenerationRadio.com, a television show … I’m really involved in the whole boomer, if you will, boomer thing.  A lot of boomer stuff going on in our country right now.  There’s 72 million of us.

Toni: Seventy-two million – wow!

Gary: Yeah, well actually there’s a number that the U.S. Census Bureau came out with, and it’s right down to 72,356,741 – I have it right here in front of me.  How they came up with that number, I’ll never tell you, as of December 31.

Toni: Well thank you for that.

Gary: Absolutely.

Toni: Well so, Gary, when you think about that word inspiration, who do you think you inspire and how do you do that?

Gary: Well, I believe that I inspire people through the work I do.  I’ve been involved in caring for others now for 34 years, and as many times as I’ve had the opportunity to go into another field — and some good opportunities, in fact — I’ve always seemed to remain in the human service arena.  I believe it’s only because I inspire others through the work I do and particularly the staff people that I have working for me that I believe – and this is not egotistical – but I believe they see in me what energy that exists for helping others in their need.

That is, I think … you know, when you had first asked me this question a couple days ago and I really thought about it, it was like “Yeah, that is what inspires me – helping others and inspiring others to help others; hence, that’s what I’ve done all my life.  I had founded a nonprofit back in 1993 in our area.  It was a mental health/mental retardation agency that is now the largest in our community.

I left in 2000 to pursue aging care, and in that I look back on it now and I see that organization and how it’s grown, and that was through my inspiration to take $325 and found a nonprofit.  So starting off with that and founded a nonprofit with $325 in my pocket.  So that was an inspiration, and I felt that was how I inspired others to continue that work.

Toni: When you work that way with others, Gary, and how you inspire others to not only make a difference and to carry on the type of work that you do, by doing that, what do you do then that you think helps them to also explore their potential?

Gary: Well, one is … what I feel I do is that energy that I have that makes them want to educate themselves more.  Other organizations, I understand, have a hard time educating their staff.  I don’t, because I believe that people feel that real deep down inside, I’m just not here to make a dollar, I’m here to make a difference.

I think there is a difference.  In human services, it is … you’re not getting into human services to make a fortune, you’re doing it because you want to help others.  But there are a few out there who believe that I’m just here to collect a paycheck, and kind of a drone effect, if you will, and that’s what I’ve always called it, or warm-body syndrome, and that inspiration, I think it’s all related. I think it’s all tied together.

Toni: I would have to agree with you.  What I’m hearing from you is that you can help people to explore their own potential in wanting to serve in that particular field, but also if you’re authentic of the passion and purpose together, that is a driver and a motivator.

Gary: Absolutely, absolutely.  You know, I’ve done direct care, so I was there and I remember doing it for people who also inspired me.  And I pledged back in the eighties that if I ever did this on my own and, you know, God blessed me and allowed me to do that, that I would continue that.  I don’t know that I … what’s the word … I walk the talk as well, if you will.

Toni: Right, right.  Very, very authentic.

Gary: Yes.

Toni: So what inspires you, Gary?

Gary: What inspires me?  As I’ve looked back through the years to see what’s inspired me and what hasn’t, there’s been plenty of what hasn’t.  But the biggest thing in my life that I feel gives me that inner feeling that “Yeah, that felt good,” was again back to what I do in my profession.  But one step beyond that is doing a lot … it’s one thing to do what you do for a living and get paid for it … that, you know, you’re getting paid for it, so giving beyond that is so crucial and important.

I’m a part of five different area boards of nonprofits that provide services for people in the community from mental health issues, mental health concerns, down to helping teach kids how not to use drugs, and those are all volunteer things that I do to help to give back to my community.  And when I hear — as I did this morning at a meeting — when I hear that we are getting back, I mean, we’re actually getting results from what we are doing, and I had something to do with that; that really inspires me.  It really … and on the way back home from that meeting I felt “Wow, this feels good.”

Yeah, I get it in my business, but getting it that way also, that inspires me.  It inspires me to get up in the morning and to do what I do for a living.  I don’t know you that well, Toni, and you don’t know me that well, but if you did know me, you would understand that I’m that kind of person that draws on other people constantly for inspiration – I do.  I look for that.  Not that I need to be validated by them, far from it, but I enjoy that feeling I get from helping others.

Toni: So it’s almost a sense of community for you.

Gary: Absolutely.

Toni: Right, right; that’s very apparent is that sense of community that you get by being part of these organizations that are making a difference in people’s lives.  And then what you get in return is seeing the return on that, getting the residual from that.

Gary: Goodness, yes, absolutely.  And there in the mental health association, there are a lot of people who have disabilities that are very difficult to work with.  And when I hear that we’ve made a milestone, that we’ve done something that no one else in our community could do, and we were the dumping ground, pardon me, for that person and we made a difference, hey, you know – come on – that’s it right there.  That’s it.

Toni: Are there certain tools or, I don’t know, things that you look for you, methodologies, a system that you might use, Gary, that when you’re at a point during the day or in your life where you’re going “Yes, you know, I need to fill my own bucket up here a little bit,” are there things you find yourself consistently reaching for?

Gary: You mean as far as my own inner strength?

Toni: Right, that continues to inspire you?

Gary: I have to be honest, and it’s an old standard that goes way back, back to the days of my grandmother who will turn 102 tomorrow, that … prayer.  I have to tell you that, you know, that’s what I believe, if I’m hearing you right, that’s what gives me the strength.  Even in my dark times, and believe me I have those, we all have them, it’s prayer.  Prayer.  Giving, you know, reaching out and asking God for the strength, for the wisdom, for the guidance, and his will.  Does that make sense?

Toni: It does make sense, and as part of the Project there’s a learning that’s happening across the world here with everyone coming to those interviews.  And it’s not only who you inspire and how but what do you need, and then what do you reach for when you’re looking for that inspiration.  So how you answered that question is so important, because there’s other people that will hear this and go “Yeah, I can so relate to that,” whereas someone else it may be meditation or you know, journaling or something like that, so absolutely it makes total sense.

Gary: Right.  There is some meditation involved, there is.  I don’t always just pray.  When I have enough alone time where I can be, pardon me, sealed off from the world and I can have that quiet time, meditation is a part of it.  But I have to say prayer is a big part of it, because you can do it any time of the day, week, or Sunday, you know.  There’s nothing that says you can’t go into your restroom at your office and, you know, get down on your hands and knees in front of the porcelain throne, if you will, and say, you know, whatever you need to say to reconnect, because it’s easy to get disconnected.

Toni: So when you look at what you’re doing — and not only personally and professionally — in order to continue to do the good work that you do, what do you need and what do you do to continuously explore your own potential?

Gary: One thing is prayer, asking God for guidance, but another thing is to never be closed to ideas and things that come to you.  Yeah, many things come to you, and you learn later they’re not feasible, but not just shutting down and closing out every little thing you get in becoming another person.

And there are people there unfortunately in the world who just … they have no ideas because they come to believe that there’s no way they can make them happen.  And believing that you can make them happen, that there are things there that will … forces beyond you that will make it happen if it is to be, and I’ve done that all my life.  I followed my dream in so many ways that my dream came true.  Am I answering your question?

Toni: Yes, you are; yes, you are.  And it’s interesting, too, because you are very secure in what your purpose is, and a lot of people seek a lifetime, you know, of wanting to know what their purpose is, and it sounds as though you’re very secure in what yours is.

Gary: Absolutely.  I had a good friend of mine years ago say “You know, you’ll know someday when you’ve found yourself.”  In many ways, I think I have.  Of course, I think it’s a constant day in and day out endeavor to search for that real person, but hey, the search is on, and it’s been on, and I’ve never said no to opportunities that present themselves that really feel good, like this is going to work.

Toni: Well, I’ll tell you, I cannot thank you enough, Gary, for taking the time out of such a busy schedule that you have to be part of the Get Inspired! Project today.

Gary: Thank you, Toni.

Toni: And to be able to share with people in your interview the absolute conviction and commitment to your purpose of serving others and to be of service has come through loud and clear in this interview.

Gary: Well thank you.  My pleasure.

Toni: You can hear that in the difference, so thank you so very much.

Gary: Absolutely.  Thank you so much for having me do this today.  This has been great.

Toni: You’re welcome.  Take care, Gary.

Gary: You too.

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For more information about Gary Hawkins:  www.BoomerGenerationRadio.com

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Toni Reece: Thank you so much, Evelyn, for agreeing to be part of the Project today, and before we begin, can you please introduce yourself?

Evelyn Kalinosky: Sure, good morning, Toni.  My name is Evelyn Kalinosky, and I am a newly charged entrepreneur, just started my business within the last six months, and am currently writing a book on women navigating in and through midlife.  and I really appreciate the opportunity to be with you today.

Toni: Well absolutely!  So Evelyn, when you think about that word inspiration, who do you think you inspire and how do you do that?

Evelyn: You know, I thought about that; that’s a very good question.  Actually, I try to be an inspiration to everyone and not out of any sense of ego but because honestly I believe that’s a responsibility we have as citizens of this world.

So for me, just going out into the world on a day-to-day basis and trying to be the kind of person that … being a complete person, so not just showing people the positive, not just giving people the impression that in order to be seen as inspirational that they have to be always positive and upbeat and things like that, but that it’s important to show both the positive and negative parts of ourselves when necessary so that they don’t feel unwanted pressure to always be “on” and always be positive and perfect.  I think that’s really important.

Sometimes people need to let themselves feel lousy, to feel the lumps that life has given them, and the trick is not to wallow in it or become stuck, but to feel it, acknowledge it, and move on.  And I try to be inspirational in that regard.

Toni: Now when you are doing the work that you do, or even in the relationships that you build, is this something that you really think is a conscious thought that you’re going through to say, to almost … I don’t know, maybe lead by example and to be positive, but to balance that positive and negative.  Do you find yourself doing that in all relationships?

Evelyn: You know, I think so.  And for me it’s been a learning process, and it’s been a work in process because the very thing that I’m trying to do now in terms of, you know, leading by example by being a more complete person is quite honestly not something that I had done in my past.

I think in a lot of ways I put up walls for people, because I always tried to come across as someone who has their stuff together all the time, and I thought that was doing people a service and that that’s what people needed to see in order to be inspired.  And then I realized that really that that’s not the answer, because sometimes it can seem like it’s a goal that’s too lofty and not reachable.  So I’ve been over the years learning how to be more human, to be more fully human, and to me there’s nothing more inspirational than someone who is fully human and embracing both the good and the bad in themselves, so I do think it’s something I bring to all my relationships.

Toni: Now how do you think being that way — walking that journey and path with someone — how does that help people to explore their own potential?

Evelyn: Well, I think first off it gives them a sense of freedom.  Hopefully, they come from a place of “I’m okay right now, warts and all,” you know?  Not to say that we don’t all have things that we need to, I think, constantly balance and look at — and I’m a firm believer that our greatest strengths are also our greatest weaknesses just depending on how we, you know, choose to use those and in what instance — but I think really by being that way and by using empathy, it allows people to feel heard and to feel appreciated and respected.  It allows them the freedom to kind of go into themselves and explore who they are and what they are, what serves them well, what perhaps does not.

You know, I work in coaching and I work with high-level executive women — so these are women leading very complex lives as are we all — and they have so many things that they need to be delivering all the time.  So I think anytime I can give someone sort of that freedom to just let their hair down and explore who they are, I think that’s critical.

Also, by doing this you suspend judgment.  And when people don’t feel like they’re being judged, it really opens them up to do a thorough exploration of themselves and to find out, you know, more about the kind of person they want to be and the journey they want to take.  So I’m more the passenger in their journey, and they’re the driver.

Toni: It reminds me, Evelyn, of what you do is similar to almost turning … when people are struggling or they don’t feel something, that it almost is just … it stays as dinner conversation and it’s a … what is the … it’s like an anecdote that they’re relating, and what you’re saying is turn that anecdote into an actual feeling statement.  Feel it, react to it, so you can move from it.  That’s what I’m hearing you do.

Evelyn: I think that’s true, and also I think so many of us are bound by self-limiting beliefs.  And one of the things that I try to do with myself but also with my friends or my clients is to really help people question those beliefs, to really … I think it’s Byron Katie’s work, and she talks very much about, you know, “Is this true?”  You know, every time you think a thought, ask yourself that question.  “Is this really true?  Is it true for me?  Perhaps it was true at one point, but does it serve me any longer?  Does it apply today?”

Because who we were 20, 10, five years ago is not necessarily who we are now with all the new experiences and things that we’ve had in our lives.  So oftentimes if you take those shackles off and allow yourself to explore the possibility that you are no longer those things, it really does open a channel, and I’ve seen so many … well the women I work with, I’ve seen so many of them be able then to go off in a direction that perhaps they’ve always wanted to go in but did not feel that they could because of something maybe their parents … you know, something from their childhood.  There was an expectation that they couldn’t do something or weren’t capable of doing something.  Whatever the reason might be, I think that’s something that really gets in all of our ways.

Toni: So, Evelyn, what inspires you?

Evelyn: What inspires me is … well, I try to find inspiration honestly in everything around me.  It’s part of my gratitude.  I keep a gratitude journal, so every day and sometimes in every moment I’m trying to find the positive and the inspirational in things.

And people’s stories are something that truly inspires me and, as a writer, I suppose that’s not surprising, but I draw enormous inspiration and support and strength from listening to other people’s journeys, especially those who haven’t necessarily taken a linear path — maybe that’s because I can relate to that because I myself haven’t taken a linear path — and those who have stumbled and those who have struggled, and just the way that they’ve been able to circumvent some of those things that could have just left them devastated.  And they’ve managed to rise like a phoenix out of the ashes and create a wonderful life for themselves and for others, and I draw enormous inspiration from that.

So people’s stories, children, you know … that might seem like a cliché, but I think children are tremendously inspirational.  Being a grandmother now and having an 11-month-old granddaughter, just watching her and seeing all the possibilities, just … I feel 20 years younger every time I’m around her.

The outdoors, mountains, things like that … I’m really drawn by the sheer magnitude of the world around us, the physical world around us, and I draw a lot of inspiration from that.

Toni: When you speak about what inspires you and that it’s other people’s stories and, you know, going through adversity and so forth, do you find yourself sharing then your journey by listening to other people’s stories and challenges and adversity that they’ve been through and that they’ve made it, and it wasn’t, you know, very easy but they did it?  Does that give you then permission to speak of your own journey?

Evelyn: You know, I think so, Toni, but I also think again it goes back to my … you know, I guess the way I was raised is that you really didn’t talk about yourself, and you especially didn’t let other people know that if you were struggling or if you were going through a particular challenge.  One, because you really didn’t want to burden other people with your problems and, two, it was considered selfish.

As I’ve matured and gotten older, I realized that to me it’s actually the opposite, that it’s more of a burden to other people if you … and it keeps you removed.  It keeps you from connecting to other people if you’re not willing to share your own struggles and so, yes, by hearing what other people go through, it gives me the courage and the permission to share my own.

But what I’ve also found is by sharing my own, I’m actually being able to give that same gift to somebody else, and so it’s this reciprocal, continual circle of life that happens and, you know, I just think we all draw strengths from each other when we can do that.

Toni: Was there a turning point for you that you thought “You know what?  Enough now, I’m going to start sharing who I really am and not keeping things to the vest as much as you might have,” or was that a process?

Evelyn: You know, it’s funny you use the word turning point, because that’s something I use in the work that I do.  I’m always talking to my clients about the defining moments, the turning points in their lives, and even though I think everything in a way is a process, this particular thing was a pretty defining moment for me.

Again, it might sound like a cliché to say that I became seriously ill and that was a wake-up call, but a few years ago when that happened, you know, it really … I think whatever higher power you choose to believe in, for me it was … that was a wake-up call to me that I needed to change the way I was living my life and the way I was relating to people, and that if I was going to get through this — something that was going to be chronic and ongoing — that I needed to find a way to be open and honest about what was happening to me, and that, you know, there would be days when I didn’t feel very well

And what was the point of putting on a happy face and pretending everything was fine all the time?  So that really forced me into … much more quickly changing what could have been a longer process, and it’s been one of … I consider it a blessing.  It’s been one of the best things that’s happened to me, being able to do that.

Toni: It almost sounds as though when you opened up to that, I’ll bet you there were a whole bunch of people that walked in.

Evelyn: Yes; and interestingly enough, some walked out.  And that’s okay, too, because sometimes when people have known you as a certain person or a certain way for a long time and you begin to change and you begin to grow, you know, there’s discomfort in that.  People are out of balance.  A lot of people don’t like change.

They don’t know what to do when you start to share, where before you were always the one who was strong and taking care of everyone else.  That’s okay because, you know, they need to go and do what they need to do, and it opens the door and allows those people to come into your life who are able to handle both the good and the bad.

Toni: Gosh, I know that I call that actually the superman or superwoman theory, and once the superwoman or superman takes off that suit, I may not recognize that person underneath there, and so that shock may cause me to walk away, and so yeah, that was a great point.

So, Evelyn, what do you do then to explore your own potential, to take all of this that you’re doing and you’ve been through and where you’re heading and the work that you’re doing, how do you continuously explore that potential in yourself?

Evelyn: Well, I’m naturally a learner.  You know, if you were to say one of my traits, it’s that I’m continuously learning, continuously exploring — in some ways, you know, the professional student.  But I’m always asking that question, and I’m always looking deeper and deeper and never truly feeling, like, that I’m done, that, you know, who I can grow to become is finished.

I think that we’re all a work in progress until the day we leave this world, and so part of that includes finding different ways to be inspirational and to draw inspiration to you and from you.  So I do a lot of writing.  I do a lot of journaling.  Again, I do a lot of talking with people and learning about who they are and what they are and taking those stories and writing them and being able to share those with other people so, you know, again that just …That kind of helps to feed me and feed the process for me.

Toni: What a wonderful, wonderful way that you have given during this interview to bring to life that phrase and quote “We teach what we need to learn.”

Evelyn: It’s true.

Toni: And you’ve absolutely demonstrated that not only in how you inspire others and help them to feel safe so that they can feel, actually feel, be aware and move forward, but you’ve also done the same.  And you’re continuing to do that by exploring your own potential so that you can feed that forward; and what a wonderful example of that you’ve given.

Evelyn: You know, part of it too, Toni, is that I’m 51 years old and, you know, when I turned 50 it was a watershed moment for me.  Because for a woman — and a woman in the United States — to be over a certain age, we’re supposed to feel like our life is over, you know, that’s the message from … the external message, but I know that I didn’t feel that way.  And I began to talk to other women, and what I discovered is very, very few of us in that age group feel that way and that, for most of us, hitting midlife is like a do-over.

It’s an opportunity to really re-examine our lives and let go of the stuff that just doesn’t suit us any longer, and just … I’m at a point in my life now where probably the first time ever I’m ready to explode out into this world.

And it’s sort of ironic that at the time that I feel most confident and most ready to be out there in the world, there’s certain media and other messages that kind of say “Well, you know, we don’t really want you.”  There’s that invisibility factor.  And what I’m discovering is that we won’t allow ourselves to become invisible and, by doing that, I think we’re going to pave the way for our younger generation of women.  We’ll be trailblazers to help life for them be a lot different when they hit midlife.

Toni: I could not agree with you more.  Absolutely, Evelyn, and I hope that you just absolutely keep exploding and, seriously, just we wish you the best of luck.  And thank you for being so honest and open during the interview, and we will post how people can find you or learn about you or maybe read some of the things that you’ve written at the bottom of this interview.

Evelyn: Perfect, thank you.

Toni: So thank you so very, very much, Evelyn, for being part of the Project.

Evelyn: It’s a wonderful thing that you’re doing, and I very much appreciate and feel honored to be part of it.  Thank you.

Toni: Thank you, and take care of yourself.

Evelyn: Will do.

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For more information about Evelyn Kalinosky:  www.evelynkalinosky.com

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Toni Reece: Thank you so much Mychal, for agreeing to be part of the Project today, and before we begin, can you please introduce yourself?

Mychal Wilson: Hi.  Thank you, Toni.  I’m Mychal Wilson.  I’m a partner, a law partner, at Mind Fusion Law, and I specialize in entertainment law and Qui Tam law, which is whistleblower law.

Toni: Okay, thank you.  And Mychal, when you think about inspiration, who do you think you inspire and how do you do that?

Mychal: Essentially, I think I inspire – or I try to inspire – my family, friends, and colleagues, and actually potential clients also.  Essentially, what I try to do is I try to have people realize that, you know, there is a sense of justice out there in society and, you know, there’s obstacles that we face every day in life, and part of life is to persevere.   You know, the easiest thing to do in life is to quit.  Part of that is, for example, my clients, I help them set short-term and long-term goals.  If they are unable to meet their goals, then I advise them not to give up on the goal but to adjust their action steps to achieve those goals.  Essentially, my motto is kind of, you know, never leave a stone unturned, and you have to really find out what is important and what really matters to you.

Toni: By working with people like this and even, I would imagine, that spills over in your day-to-day relationships as well, how do you think that helps people explore their own potential?

Mychal: Well, I think it helps a lot, because I think what they do is they focus on themselves and what’s really important to them, meaning it helps them to realize, you know, what their true skill assets are, what their God-given talents are, and it opens up the world around them.  I think part of it is to have clients or, you know, family, friends, and colleagues step back and you look at the big picture.

Toni: Now one of the things you had said as far as how you inspire others is by creating a sense of judgment?

Mychal: No; a sense of justice.

Toni: Justice – I’m sorry.

Mychal: No judgment.  No, that’s okay.

Toni: That’s why I wanted to clarify that; I’m thinking “Oh, let’s get into that a little bit.”  That would be a little …

Mychal: I’m an attorney but not a judge.

Toni: Yeah, it kind of seemed a little off for me.  Okay, so your sense of justice then, that’s obviously in the type of work that you do, and do you … can you give a little bit of background on that, please?

Mychal: Yes.  Well, when I say sense of justice, whether it’s ethical or legal … you know, we all have our rules and regulations kind of and the moral part of us and how we live our daily lives.  For me, when I say I’m a Qui Tam attorney, I represent whistleblowers in the healthcare fraud arena, meaning I represent clients who are filing lawsuits against big pharmaceutical companies and medical device companies.

I’ll be really brief.  Essentially, years ago I worked for Bristol-Myers Squibb as a pharmaceutical rep.  I was going through law school.  I had made a successful movie, and I noticed a lot of egregious conduct that was occurring.  I proceeded to speak out against the conduct; and this involved kicking back physicians, inducing physicians to write prescriptions of, for example, Pravachol and Plavix, which are billion-dollar drugs, and the company turned against me and fired me.  So in the process, I filed a whistleblower lawsuit — and there were about six of us, seven of us — and in 2007, Bristol-Myers Squibb settled for $515,000,000 for illegal marketing practices.

So when I say sense of justice meaning, you know, do the right thing.  I had co-employees come to me and tell me “Hey, do not disrupt the status quo – lay low, you know?  You’ll get your bonus check.  You’ll get your salary, you know?”  But I grew up on Capitol Hill, and that’s what I mean in terms of having a sense of justice.

Toni: Right, and I would imagine there are many people that know that story, and if you have that sense of fairness and you went to the wall for that, I would imagine that that example is also a way that you would help people to explore their own potential and that sense of fairness.

Mychal: Exactly.  You know, I’m fortunate enough to have, you know, gather a lot or sign a lot of clients in the healthcare fraud industry.  But on a personal level with families and friends, you know, I think I show … what I try to show is it’s all about perseverance and tenacity.  I really think those are undervalued attributes that we have in life.

Toni: Absolutely, I agree with you, and they are two very important attributes.  So what inspires you?

Mychal: I think what really inspires me is … again, what matters to me is really fighting against healthcare fraud, and also, you know, I’m an entertainment attorney, too.  I’m a former filmmaker, and really helping entertainment clients achieve their full potential.  So essentially, I like to help others, and the way I do it is going by the law through legal rep and advising and counseling clients.

Toni: Now have you always been that brave?  Have you always had the courage to stand up for your convictions and to use your voice and to know that “I’m going to go to the wall for this” – have you always come to the table that way?

Mychal: You know, that’s a great question there, Toni.  I think it’s always been inside me, but again I think we all have to look inside, be true to ourselves, and really follow our instincts; you know, that way it’s that gut feeling.  And you know, I wasn’t able to actually execute that until … I felt that until I became an attorney.

Toni: Oh, okay; and why was that?

Mychal: Because I think going to law school and becoming a licensed attorney gave me the tools and the skill assets to really feel confident in helping me advise and counsel my clients.

Toni: So there’s people listening to this interview all over the world and they may not be brave enough or have the courage and be, just like you, and wanting to do the right things but not sure that they can go that far, and they’re not going to become an attorney.  Now, how would you advise someone to get past that fear to do the right thing?

Mychal: Okay.  You know, obviously the fear is an obstacle, and obstacles are meant to … you know, you can overcome obstacles.  What I suggest is to develop a short-term goal and a long-term goal in terms of achieving what you really want to do in life.  Explore, experiment.

I recently spoke at my law school for aspiring entertainment attorneys, and my best advice to them was “Hey, you know what?  You guys and gals are in law school right now, and you should do internships, so take a job at a studio.  Take a job at a big law firm, a boutique law firm, because you’ll really find out if that’s really meant for you or not.  You know, if someone wants to become a doctor, if someone wants to become a carpenter, if someone wants to become a writer, the only way you’ll know is if you actually try to become one.”

Toni: So at the end of the day when you might be feeling a little down or you’re saying “You know what?  Gosh, you know, I’m looking for a little inspiration here to kind of keep things moving,” where do you go?  What do you do?

Mychal: You know, it’s funny actually; one of the sales techniques I learned in the pharmaceutical industry which is very, very helpful is that at the end of every day, you kind of have to look at yourself, you know, and you have to say “Okay, you know, what can I change tomorrow?  What can I do better tomorrow or the next day that didn’t work today?”  Every day we have obstacles in life, and part of life is to overcome those obstacles and you move on.  Again, if something isn’t working, you know, something bad happened that day, you know what?  There’s always tomorrow.

Toni: Okay, so that is what you do is that you go “All right, you know, I did all I can do today.  Now tomorrow, I may rewrite a little bit to look a little different.”

Mychal: Exactly.  Remember, the one thing we know is the sun always rises.

Toni: Absolutely.  How do you continue to explore your own potential so that you can help the industries that you’re working in and also within your own personal life?

Mychal: You know, that’s a great question, Toni.  What I do is I do a lot of research and reading.  For example, if someone … and I would advise someone if they want to become a carpenter or if they want to become an architect, well then, you know what, read the trades in your industry to find out what’s going on.  You know, you have to stay up on the latest news and events, whether … again, if you’re a stylist, if you’re in film, if you’re in politics, you know, you have to learn, you have to research, you have to explore and experiment.

Toni: And that’s what you do?

Mychal: That’s what I do.

Toni: You do, okay, great.  Can you give an example of something that you’ve done recently where you’ve done a little exploration and then experimented in an area?

Mychal: Yes.  You know, I attend conferences all the time to learn about whistleblower law.  I also read a lot, you know, whether it’s entertainment trades or whistleblower law magazines, and essentially that’s what I do to stay up on everything.  You can’t learn everything, but you know, I have colleagues I speak to, and so I kind of built a team around me.  And so if I’m unsure about something, then I can go to them for advice.

Toni: Just an interesting thought occurred to me.  When … you’re dealing with such … two entities here of entertainment law and whistleblower law.

Mychal: Yes.

Toni: Is there a correlation at all between the two?

Mychal: You know what the correlation is?  It’s I practice what I know, and I lived those two lives.  I was an actor who sat in class for years, you know?  I actually was a producer who made, you know, a successful movie that was on HBO and Starz.  I represent whistleblowers, and I was a whistleblower.  So in terms of the correlation, you know, I guess it’s my areas of law practice, and it’s what I personally experienced.

Toni: So now you can just carry that experience forward.

Mychal: Yes.

Toni: Absolutely.  Well thank you so very much for telling your story with us at the Get Inspired! Project, and I’m sure that it will inspire people on many different levels – one, to follow your passion, and how to also maybe overcome some fears so that you might have the courage to do not only the right thing, but the right thing for you, and that’s what I’m taking away from your interview today.

Mychal: Thank you, Toni.

Toni: Thank you very much.  Take care of yourself.

Mychal: You too.

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For more information about Mychal Wilson:  www.mychalwilson.com

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Toni Reece: Thank you so much, Marian, for agreeing to be part of the Project toda,y and before we begin, can you please introduce yourself?

Marian Hobson: Certainly.  I am Marian Hobson, and I’m a business and relationship coach, and I work out of my hometown in Asheville, North Carolina.

Toni: Well thank you, Marian.  Let’s go right to the first question.  When you think about the word inspiration, who do you inspire and how do you do that?

Marian: You know, when I first heard that question, Toni, my initial reaction is inspire everyone!  I certainly hope that everyone I meet is inspired by me, but I realize that that’s not always possible, so I do actually have a more specific answer in that my mission is really to inspire parents and to lead them and guide them in harmonizing their lives — both their income-generating part of their life as well as their mission to raise productive children.  So I show them how they can, by taking care of themselves first, they can actually help their children.

It’s kind of like how the airplane speech has changed, you know, the safety speech where they used to say do children first and then you, and I think that that’s a critical way to look at our lives, especially as parents.  If we first take care of ourselves and our own needs, then we can meet the needs of our children better.

Toni: I see.  So who you inspire would be the people that you … the parents that you coach who, you know, also I would imagine this would not only lend themselves to building better relationships with their children, but also have a healthier relationship with themselves; that’s what I’m hearing.

Marian: With themselves and with their spouse, right.

Toni: Right, okay.  Now by working with people this way and inspiring people this way, how do you think it helps them to explore their own potential?

Marian: Well, that actually is a day-to-day process for everyone, I know, but actually it comes down to when you’re focusing on yourself first, you are meeting your own potential better, and … darn it, I’m sorry …

Toni: That’s okay.

Marian: I wrote that question down differently, so …

Toni: But let’s think about it this way … if you were … I’m going to be working with you, and I know that I need a whole lot of help getting my life in balance.  What would that do for me as far as exploring my potential in other areas?  How would you help me to do that?

Marian: Right.  Well, you know, it starts with exploring your potential just in your inner self and coming to know yourself through a process of doing exercises and meditations to know yourself emotionally and spiritually.  And then by that … use that to energize yourself in creating a bigger business, creating a greater income.  And then as you have taken care of yourself and nurtured yourself in those ways, you can explore how to reach out to the rest of the world.  So it’s a step-by-step process where we look at all areas of your life.

Toni: It sounds really interesting, that really just kind of reflecting what’s all about me so that I can figure that out in order to work well with others.

Marian: Right; and it also helps you to determine what other people you work well with, because you cannot meet your full potential if you’re surrounded by people who drag you down and suck the energy out of you, basically.

You know, another thing that I do, Toni, that’s probably different than anybody else, is I purposely try to play the devil’s advocate for the people that I’m working with to help them see the opposite of where their life is today.

Toni: Can you give me an example of that?

Marian: Yeah.  For instance, I had a client who has just started a new relationship and, you know, she’s in that excitement and in that energy.  She’s been a single mom for several years and was just so excited for this new relationship.  And while I honored that and was excited for her, I also purposely took her back and played the devil’s advocate of exploring the negative of this person to make sure that she really was seeing it before she got so far in that, you know, she’s made commitments and not ready to get out of that relationship.

Toni: I see.  So, Marian, with the work that you do with others, let’s talk about you.  What do you need to be inspired?  What inspires you?

Marian: You know, anything can inspire me.  I had a woodpecker knocking on my tree outside my window today, and when I took the moment, I thought “You know what?  That’s it – I need to really get my head around this problem, you know and really put my head into it.”

Another day I saw a squirrel and he was just sitting there, and then all of a sudden, in less than 30 seconds, he was through a fence that had no hole in it as far as I could see and he went into another yard.  And so it inspired me to keep looking for those unobvious holes to get through my problems and past.

I guess what that boils down to, Toni, is that to get inspired, I have to take a moment to say “Okay, how can I be inspired by what’s going on around me?”

Toni: It’s to be aware.  It’s almost forcing yourself to be aware of what’s going on.

Marian: Right; and another thing, for me – I have to have repetition.

Toni: Repetition?

Marian: Yes.  To really be inspired, to really get it into me and to make it a part of me, I have to have it happen over and over.

Toni: Oh, okay.  Certain events happen over and over, or it is affirmations?

Marian: All of the above.

Toni: Okay, okay.  So when you might be at a place, Marian, where you’re going “Gosh, you know, I really could use some inspiration right now” — maybe you’re at a low point — do you find yourself reaching for the same things to kind of help fill that up again?

Marian: Yes and no.  I … when I find something that inspires me, I make a point to expose myself to it over and over and over.  Like if I have a favorite book, I’ll read it all the way through and then I’ll leave it on my nightstand, actually, and periodically over the next few weeks just open a part of it and read it.  But as far as going out and seeking the same things over and over, that’s not what I do.  Sometimes it comes to me over and over again.  Usually when I need inspiration, I ask for it.  And when something shows up say “Okay, is this what I was looking for?”

Toni: And so, have you always been this pretty … it seems pretty practical and “This is what we need to do, this is what we need to do over and over again.  This is how I need to work with the parents I work with, with harmonizing their lives and getting everything in balance” and keeping yourself in balance.  Has that always been the way you’ve viewed things?

Marian: No.

Toni: Those people that are … there’s many people that are listening to your interview and reading your transcript, and they may be at a place where they want to get to where you are.  So would there be a little bit of learning that you can let someone know how you got to this place?

Marian: Yeah, you know, it all starts with one decision, that I need something better.  I find that we all go through hills and valleys in our life, and when we’re at those low points and when we’re at those valleys making that decision “I need something better, I need something to get me back up that mountain,” it takes that.

But you know, this is actually something I learned from my father many, many years ago.  He said “Yes, everybody goes through hills and valleys, but the sign of a person who is truly progressing in life is that their valleys are lower and their mountains are higher.”  So we push ourselves to get up that mountain, whatever mountain it is, and we never … we don’t allow ourselves to go back down as low because we stop.  We recognize as we’re going back in the valley, “No, I’ve got to go back up,” and we make that decision.

Toni: Well thank you for that.  Marian, what do you need to keep exploring your own potential?

Marian: Toni, I seek for new beginnings, and I’m personally by nature a procrastinator.  And so because of that, I have in my life … I set up deadlines for when I’m going to get this done, and then I also set up new beginnings.  Because once I’m done with that, I have to say “I’m done with that, so now let’s start something new.”  Whether that’s a new day, a new week, or just a new project.  If something is successful, of course I stay with it, but if it’s not, I like to create new beginnings.

Toni: Around anything?

Marian: Yeah.

Toni: Yeah.  Do you correlate your own need to create new beginnings into the work you do with others?

Marian: I do.

Toni: And how do you do that?

Marian: Well, part of it just starts with that philosophy of, you know, every day is a new beginning.  My past is my past, and while I can use it to learn lessons about myself, I’m going to leave it in the past.  My future is my future, and I can create a new future by taking this day in a new perspective, you know?

Toni: You know what’s really interesting, Marian, is that I just made this connection between what you said inspires you to the work that you do, but one of the things you said inspires you is repetition, and you said it a couple of times that you need repetition and that what you need to explore your own potential is to seek new beginnings, which again is the repetition of the new beginning.

And that’s what you do for others is that promise of the new beginning if you get your act together and figure out who you are and what you need, and that promise can be on a daily basis.  I just heard that whole connection through this interview.  The repetition you need to the new beginnings, the repetition of that, to how you serve others.  That’s pretty cool.

Marian: Thank you.

Toni: You’re welcome.  Well thank you so very much for coming to the table today and sharing your story with us and how you inspire others, but also what you need.  I know there’s a lot of takeaways here that people will gain value from, and we can’t thank you enough for that.

Marian: Certainly.  I appreciate it.

Toni: Thank you, Marian.

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For more information about Marian Hobson:  www.urcalm.com/coach.html

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Toni Reece: Thank you so much, Sandy, for agreeing to be part of the Project today, and before we begin, can you please introduce yourself?

Sandy Witman: Hi, this is Sandy Witman, and I live outside of Reading, Pennsylvania, and I am a business consulting manager for one of the major food distributors in the country.

Toni: Well thank you, Sandy, and thanks for being here today.  Well, let’s go right to that very first question, which is who do you inspire, Sandy, and how do you do that?

Sandy: The first person that I came up with when we starting talking about this is my daughter.  She’s in her early thirties, a teacher, a mother, and we’re at the point now where I think I can be a great inspiration to her on a daily and weekly basis.

Toni: How does that happen, do you think?

Sandy: I think it happens because she is at the point now where she has no issues picking up the phone and calling her mother and asking for, not necessarily advice, just some input on what’s going on with her in her life.

Toni: Do you also believe then you inspire people at work as well?

Sandy: Absolutely.  My coworkers are a real key part of my life day in and day out, and we spend a lot of time together physically as well as on the phone.  and in the business that we’re in, which is totally sales oriented and customer relation oriented, I think I have a fairly large impact on how they proceed through the day, especially when they’re running into obstacles.

Toni: So how do you impact that?  How do you inspire them?

Sandy: I try to turn around whatever might be the negative message that they are talking about into a positive and take it from there.

Toni: How do you think being that way with your daughter and inspiring your daughter, inspiring people that you work with, how do you think then that that helps to explore their potential?

Sandy: I think when people can think in those terms of what the possibilities are instead of what the obstacles might be, that it totally opens their minds and their thoughts to what can be done instead of what cannot be done.

Toni: Do you think that’s hard to get that message across to people?

Sandy: It’s more difficult with some people than other people, but I can say from my years of doing what I do that, at this point, a lot of the people that I deal with on a daily basis know that they’re probably going to get that kind of input from me, so I think when they pick up the phone and call they might be waiting for “okay, how can we turn this one around?”

Toni: So it’s … don’t bother me with staying in the negative place, because we’re going to move towards the positive.

Sandy: Absolutely.

Toni: We don’t have time for this right now.

Sandy: There’s no time for negativity.

Toni: That’s right.

Sandy: No, there’s not.

Toni: Move forward.  Well that’s fantastic.  So what do you need to be inspired, Sandy?

Sandy: What I need are things that probably don’t relate to a lot of the work and a lot of the friends and family.  I believe that we all have the potential to be really great people, and I think we have to look at that sometimes.  And we have the potential to help others be great people, and that’s how I try to step back, listen to the stories, listen to my own stories, and reflect on that and figure out what I can learn from those experiences.

Toni: Yours and others.

Sandy: Mine and others, yeah.

Toni: When you find yourself at a place where you go “Oh, I’m walking into a huge negativity festival here,” what do you seek for yourself in order to fill your inspiration up so that you can then provide that to others?  What do you have to do for yourself?

Sandy: What I do for myself is just take a few minutes and kind of look inside and look at my strong points as well as maybe some of my weak points and kind of put my mini-plan together before I walk through the door.

Toni: Now, are there certain tools or methodologies that you seem to consistently reach for when you are seeking inspiration?

Sandy: Yes.  I do a lot of reading about these topics.  I do meditation every day which truly helps me, as well as the yoga that I do on an ongoing basis.  I think all of those just contribute to a feeling of being able to feel calm most of the time in spite of what might be coming my direction.

Toni: So this possibility thinking and the way that you work by taking a very difficult situation and turning it into a positive, have you always been that way, Sandy?  Is that the way you’ve always looked at life?

Sandy: I would have to say that this is something that’s developed over the years, and I think I’ve always been since a young girl a pretty positive person, but I think going through life and having the experiences happen that happen to all of us has made me just be more cognizant of what I can do personally to approach things with a positive attitude.

Toni: So it’s looking at your own ownership in that.

Sandy: Yes, absolutely.

Toni: Taking personal control in that area.  A lot of people do not realize that they have that power to take that personal control to be aware so that they can not only do it for themselves but for others, and it sounds like you’ve really taken grasp of that.

Sandy: I think I have, and I think I have been able to pass that on in quiet ways to a lot of other people, and that’s a real gift for me to be able to do that.

Toni: Wow.  So how do you explore your own potential?

Sandy: I spend a lot of time looking outside of myself and what’s available out there, and the resources that are available are pretty unbelievable, and just kind of focusing on “Okay, what do I think I might need right now to help me?”  And that could be literature, that could be friends, that could be a seminar, whatever it happens to be.

Toni: Where do you see yourself applying what you do to explore your own potential that can then correlate to what you do for others?

Sandy: I think I have a good ability to internalize what I absorb at least, you know, partially, and take that and pass it on to other people, and that feels like a real gift to me to be able to do that.

Toni: To pass on that experience and knowledge?

Sandy: Yes.

Toni: Wow.  So what I’m hearing from you, Sandy, is that, you know, it doesn’t matter what you go through in your life, and you know, you may have gone through difficult situations yourself, but the place that you’re at now with your daughter, with your coworkers, with yourself is to be aware, to stay aware, and to learn and do the things that you need to do so that you can be present and help these people turn the negative into the positive.

Sandy: That’s it.  That was a great summation.

Toni: Well thank you for that.  I really appreciate you giving your time today to be part of the Project, and we wish you the best of luck.  Thank you so much, Sandy.

Sandy: Thank you so much.

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For more information about Sandy Witman:  switman2@verizon.net

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Toni Reece: Hi Michael, thank you so much for agreeing to do this interview today, and before we begin, can you please introduce yourself?

Michael Bungay Stanier: Sure.  My name is Michael, Michael Bungay Stanier.  My company is called Box of Crayons, and we say at Box of Crayons we help organizations and people in organizations do less good work and more great work.

Okay, so introducing yourself is always tough, right, because it always sounds like you’re beating your chest particularly loudly to say “Look what a flawless and deeply interesting person I am.”  So here are five things about me, which I’ll just try and make up on the spot.  Here we go.

Toni: Okay.

Michael: So I’m Australian by birth and won a Rhodes Scholarship, and the best thing about when … the two best things about winning a Rhodes Scholarship were, one, it stopped me becoming a lawyer because I had done a law degree in Australia and, two, I managed to meet my wife, my Canadian wife, studying at Oxford.

Second thing about me: I finished law school being sued by one of my law lecturers for defamation for $50,000.

Third thing to tell you about me: I’ve written a few books.  One is called Get Unstuck & Get Going on the Stuff That Matters, and the other is called, and is newly out, called Do More Great Work:  Stop the Busywork and Start the Work That Matters. I’ve created a bunch of other bits and pieces including some popular internet movies, the most popular of which is called “The Eight Irresistible Principles of Fun.”

The fourth thing about me: on my first day of work ever when I finally staggered out of University, I was sitting on a hill in England eating my sandwich that I brought from home with me.  It’s a lovely summer day, sort of early summer in England, and this cute dog cuddled up to me with big brown dog-like eyes, and it lifted its leg and it peed on me.

Toni: Oh dear!

Michael: So that was a metaphor for something about starting my working career.

The fifth thing about me is I guess I’ve been a coach for about … a professional coach for about eight or nine years.  I’ve trained with CTI.  I’ve spoken at a few of their … like three or four of the ICF conferences and quite a few of the ICF chapters.

There we go, that’s a random mix of stuff.

Toni: Well thank you so very much.  I think on the Get Inspired! Project we haven’t had such a unique introduction.  As we’ve talked about, the Get Inspired! Project is all about inspiration.  And there’s four questions that we want to ask. and we can clarify in between, but when you think about that word inspiration, Michael, who do you think you inspire and how do you do that?

Michael: That is actually quite a tough question to answer, so all I can go on is data that I hear back from people, people who write about me or tweet about me or say nice things about me, and it’s really a pretty eclectic bunch of people.  I would describe them as smart, restless people who are asking questions and who are looking to take responsibility for the life that they’re leading.

So that’s a very broad brush and it really means that, you know, I get emails and very nice notes from people who are young, you know, in their teens, students in University, folks going through middle age which, you know, twenties to seventies and the people who are older than that and who are … you know, I get regular people who are going “I’m 78 and I’m striking out doing something interesting, and I’m looking forward to finding out what I’m going to do when I grow up.”

So it’s … the truth of the matter is the stuff that I produce, which is often how I touch people through my movies and my books and the like, I do it in part because I’m inspired by it and I’m lit up by what I do and I’m excited by what I create.  I quite frankly think the stuff that I do is like incredibly cool, and I love that.

You know, when I design the movies and I have the guy who animates them create them for me and he comes back and he shows me what he’s done, and I’m like I’m going to wet my pants because I’m so excited about what this is, and I actually think less about “Well, who am I trying to target and who will this touch?” and I more go “This is great work for me.  I’m just … if nobody sees this, I’m so deeply proud of it that it’s a worthwhile endeavor.”

Toni: So the way that you inspire others is really to demonstrate that passion, excitement, and joy that you have for the great work that you do and that people seeing that — and you can certainly hear it in your voice as well — inspires others.  That’s what I’m hearing that you do that helps to inspire others.

Michael: Well you know, if I have any gift apart from relentless self-promotion – it’s a joke – if I have a gift it is probably … What I like to do is try and take concepts and make them simple and practical and accessible and lighten them up a little bit.  So really, that’s the heart of where I work in terms of the process, which is making wisdom accessible and useable for people.

Toni: So on that point then, making wisdom accessible, which is a fantastic thought, how do you think that it helps other people to explore their own potential?

Michael: Well, I guess this is how I hope it works, and really, this is preaching to the choir because it’s a restatement of what I think coaching can do when it’s at its … when it’s working well and at its best.  You know, people’s lives are so busy these days, and people are so committed to all the stuff that’s going on around them that it’s fairly easy to wake up one day and go “Oh my God, I’m old – what happened?  How did I get here?  Whose plan was it for me to end up living this life?”

Part of what I think I try and do is, in effect, almost be like a little pause button in the busyness of people’s lives.  So whether it’s the movies or books or the coaching or the courses that I run, really all I do is create some space for people to stop and reflect for a piece, and really that’s a description, a definition, of what coaching is about is a place to stop, reflect, see new perspectives, decide on what the next action might be rather than just sort of blindly rush into it.

Toni: Thank you for that.  Let’s talk about you now, Michael.  What inspires you?

Michael: Well, gosh – there’s sort of a deeper well that I draw from and then a range of … what’s the right metaphor for this … “well” is a bad metaphor, but it’s like there’s a constant, deeper source that I draw from, and then there’s a range of other less deep things that continue to provoke and inspire me.  So you know, when I talk about what the heck I’m doing, I often come back to this as a sort of statement of my mission which is to infect a billion people with the possibility virus.

Toni: Oh, fantastic!

Michael: Now, here’s my thinking behind that.  My bigger quest is to have people take responsibility for their lives, to recognize that they’re constantly at choice and sort of have them make the best possible choices.  Now, you can’t actually tell people to make the best possible choices, because that sort of contradicts itself.  So what you need to do is create the space that best allows people to step forward into that place of what Peter Block would call “assuming responsibility for your own freedom.”

So my theory is that if I can help people understand the art of creating possibilities, see what possibilities are out there and create better possibilities, then I hope they’re going to make better choices and live richer, deeper, more impactful lives.

The point about being a virus is … the metaphor … why I like that as a metaphor is that it means that I don’t have to be in the center of the activity.  In fact, I kind of create stuff that will spread on its own and work without me because, believe you me, I love the spotlight, but I know that I have limited impact if everything has to flow through me for it to have an impact.

I can’t remember what the question was, but that’s my answer.

Toni: Well the question was – which was a great answer – the question still is, what do you need to be inspired?  And it really does go back to the work that you create, and I guess just to the point here that you made for yourself, have you always been this way?  Have you always come to the table thinking that this is the way it should be, that there are possibilities and options and we deserve the right to do great work?

Michael: No.  You know, there’s a quote I love which is “Inspiration is when your past suddenly makes sense.”  Just like everybody else on this call or like the vast majority of people, quite frankly, I stumbled into things and out of things and bumped into things and slowly have got clearer and clearer about what I’m good at, what impact I want to have on the world, and how I can actually nourish and bring those skills to the world.

So I’m not actually a big one for, you know, vast, elaborate plans.  Like five years ago, I had no … there is no way I could have told you that this would be my life and, in five years’ time, no idea what I will be doing.  But I suspect that as you get older you get wiser, and you get a little clearer about “I know what I’m good at, I know what lights me up.”  I know that will evolve and change over time, that there’s some deep, deep rhythms that will be part of me, and it will be about teaching and creating and trying to keep a sense of lightness and fun and trying to have a sense of generosity.  I mean, really, I’m just, you know, speaking to some of my deeper values.

Toni: Absolutely.  So Michael let me ask you, are there certain tools or things that you reach for on a consistent basis when maybe you – I don’t know if you ever do – but if you ever reach a point where you’re like “You know, I’m looking for a little inspiration here.”  What do you tend to reach for?

Michael: You know, I’m a glutton for just sucking other people for inspiration, and almost certainly almost everything I’ve created is just plagiarizing somebody else’s stuff.  So you know, there’s a great quote that says “originality is just unacknowledged plagiarism,” and I believe that.  It’s like, I know everything that I do is old wine in new bottles, and so part of my job is to find the most elegant, most funky, most beautiful bottle and see if I can offer that up to the world.

So, I read really widely.  You know, on my shelves are science books and business books and self-development books and young adult literature and grown-up literature.  My university degree … I actually wrote articles on James Joyce and Ulysses, so reading broadly is really important to me.

The other place that I think is really important is actually the world of design, because in a world where information is now free and there’s no value in it … in fact, it’s not valued less, it’s actually negative value because it’s actually overwhelming for people.  Creating information and sharing information is not enough.  Actually, what you want is a sense of beauty and elegance and design into the way you bring information into the world because, in its true design, that information becomes wisdom.

I don’t know if that’s true; I just made that up on the spot, but it sounds good, doesn’t it, so we’ll run with that.

Toni: I wrote it down; it’s going to work for me.

Michael: Exactly.

Toni: Fantastic!  I really like the “old wine in the new bottle” too.  I thought that was pretty fantastic.

Michael: People should know that if they’re listening, they should not take anything I say at face value, because some of the stuff I’ve thought about, some of the stuff I’m making up as I go along.  Put an asterisk next to everything going “This may or may not be true.”

I’m a believer that design adds value and design creates attraction and compels.  So you know, I subscribe to design magazines, and I read a lot about design, and I think about design and elegance because that’s in part what design is, is a way of going how … it’s an active choice as to how do I see the world, how do I bring myself into the world.  That’s a source of inspiration for me.

And then we have little things like there’s this awesome little creativity tool called … by a guy called Brian Eno, who anybody with a musical background will probably recognize that name, and Brian Eno created something called the oblique strategies – oblique strategies – which consists of about 60 cards, and they’ve just got little strategies on them that Brian Eno used to sort of unblock himself.  So I often just pull out a card and use that to help me think differently.

So you know, I pulled out one now and it says “Always first steps.”  And then, another card … “Try faking it.”  And then a third card “Go to an extreme, move back to a more comfortable place.”  So when I feel stuck, that’s often something I turn to to actually help me think differently.

Toni: Well thank you for that, and I think you’ve answered the fourth question in describing what inspires you, but I’m going to ask it anyway and see what you come up with.  And that is, what do you do now to continuously explore this beautiful potential so that you can keep creating the work that you’re doing?

Michael: Well, it’s in part to try and live a life of some degree of self-examination.  You know, I preach “Do less good work and do more great work,” so it’s useful if I practice that at least a little bit.  So that’s part of what I do is spend time thinking about “Well, what do I want to do, and where’s my edge, and how do I step up to that?”

You know, I’m hungry for experience.  I mean, yesterday I signed up for a tea-pouring course.  Now I have no really idea what this is, but it just strikes me that there’s something interesting in learning how to pour tea.  I’m sure I’m not going to be the most stylish tea pourer in the world, but there’s something about you step outside your domain of expertise and practice being a beginner, because from the place of being a beginner, vast amounts of things are possible.

Toni: Oh, that is fantastic – “Practice being a beginner.”  I would certainly, and I think everyone on the call, would love to touch base with you later to find out what the heck the tea-pouring conference was all about.

Michael: Just remember, everything I’m saying has an asterisk saying “This may or may not be true,” so don’t take it as truth, but it might be something to think about.

Toni: Well, Michael, thank you so very much for answering these questions for the Get Inspired! Project.

Michael: My pleasure.

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For more information about Michael Bungay Stanier:  www.domoregreatwork.com

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Home page thumbnail:  Original Art by Amelia Critchlow

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Toni Reece: Thank you so much, Amelia, for agreeing to be part of the Project today, and before we begin, can you please introduce yourself?

Amelia Critchlow: Yes, thank you.  Hi.  My name is Amelia Critchlow.  I’m a practicing artist and an art tutor, and you can see my artwork over at AmeliaCritchlow.co.uk and my blog, which is part of that, is called 101 Birdtales.  My website showcases my artwork, and the blog that I write is basically about my journey with art and creativity and being a parent.  One of my children has Asperger’s syndrome, which is part of the autistic spectrum disorders.  I’m currently working on pieces for a big art show coming up in March, and I’m also working on the launch of my online art e-course, which is scheduled for April this year.

Toni: Well congratulations to all of that.

Amelia: Thank you.

Toni: So Amelia, when you think about the word inspiration, who do you inspire and how do you do that?

Amelia: My hope and intention is that I inspire others to journey creatively with what makes their heart sing, their passion, something that they really enjoy doing.  For me, it’s been doing art and by studying it and practicing it and, because it’s given me such a lot, I chose to train as an art tutor and lead workshops, particularly for adults, even though I do work doing art classes with children, too.  I want to give, and I so want to share what I’ve learned about art with others, as I found it a brilliant way of expressing myself creatively and found it very therapeutic and documenting my experiences and feelings.  It has been really, really healing.

I’m particularly interested in working with inspiring other women and maybe mothers who have similar experiences to me being a single parent, looking after a child who has special needs.  I think it’s really important to have something for yourself as an individual as well as just being a parent.  I’ve always found that children find it much easier to pick up art materials and create, whereas adults tend to find it a bit harder.  And I particularly enjoy working with people and encouraging them to sort of get past that fear and use art as a sort of helpful platform and be creative, basically.

Toni: Oh go ahead, go ahead, sorry.

Amelia: No, no.  Sure, sure, go ahead.

Toni: Well so Amelia, with this work that you do with training other people and being an art tutor and as passionate as you are about your creative outlet and your artwork, how do you think working with art and being this creative … how do you think that helps other people to explore their potential?

Amelia: I think that art is something when you start operating on the other side of your brain, the sort of … the left side/right side balance with quite … and sort of logical a lot of thinking and a lot of talking and I know I do that myself.  And art is a space where you’re engaging with your hands and your mind and sometimes things come up that you might not necessarily have thought about.

And I feel that it’s a really, really great way for people to sort of get past things that often their own mind can create and start operating in a different way.  It’s sort of people go into a trance.  You know how people say “Oh, I spend hours doing this.  I didn’t realize how quickly time had passed.”  And I just think, you know, things come up and it’s very therapeutic; and by running workshops and inviting people to come along and give it a go, you know, they have an opportunity to see and try something they might not normally try.

Toni: And if they would be willing to do this and to take a chance to do this with you, who knows what other chances that they may take as well.

Amelia: Oh yeah, definitely.  I mean, I live by the philosophy that you have to dare to do, because once you start doing something, you really don’t know what other doors will start opening up, and I can only say this for myself.  And a lot of people have said that I inspire them because I’ve done what I’ve done, I’ve chosen to go back and study art, I’ve chosen to teach, you know, sometimes in the face of adversity.

I’ve been a single parent very early on in my twenties, and things weren’t easy at all, and yet art has given me so much, and to be able to sort of share that with other people has been really nice.  There isn’t anything creative that people enjoy doing, and so I think it helps people.

Toni: It sounds incredibly wonderful.  So let me ask you about you.  What is it … what do you need to be inspired?

Amelia: Oh, what do I need to be inspired?  I … the things that really inspire me are sisterhood, creativity, art, particularly inspiring women who are following their passions on a creative journey.  I really take a lot of inspiration from women that have been through a lot and share their stories honestly, and it’s their strengths that make me feel I’m not alone or, if that person has been through it and they can manage that, then I can manage to go through whatever I feel is really, really hard.

I enjoy artists like Wangechi Mutu who speaks in her art about female experiences and hardships particularly as an African woman.  I also like Louise Bourgeois, as her art speaks about a difficult childhood that she had, her father’s affair, her own experiences as a mother.  And I take a lot of inspiration from my strong female friends and sisters who have remained sort of funny, strong, intelligent, who can face adversity.  And this really inspires me and gives me strength, particularly knowing that one is not alone in whatever journey that you feel that you’re on, because we’re all on a journey, and sometimes it’s easy to think you’re the only one going through something.

Toni: Right, right.

Amelia: And that’s not always the case.

Toni: So Amelia, are there tools or things that you tend to reach for when you might be at a place going “You know, I could use a little inspiration right about now?”  Whether it’s for your art or just life in general.

Amelia: Oh, definitely.  I will pick up one of my favorite magazines.  I will go and dip into some of my favorite books, which incidentally I have listed on the side of my blog so people can go and see them.  I definitely like to go to an art exhibition and see what’s going on; it’s very different than seeing pictures.  And talking to other people, connecting with other people, as well, is really important to me.  I get a lot of inspiration from this.

I know a lot of other mothers who are parenting children with autism at varying levels of severity, and just talking to these other women and knowing that we can share our stories and share ideas about how to cope is really inspiring as well.

Toni: Now for your … with your art and as creative as you are and having that passion to go back to school and to do as you said, you set an example and you inspired other people who knew you by going in that direction and knowing what you wanted, there seems to be a theme that’s running through the Get Inspired! Project interviews with people that know what their passion is and know what their purpose is and they do … they do move forward.  Did you always know?  Was it something you’ve always known?

Amelia: Funny enough, I’m not a very envious person, but the one thing that always did make me feel a little bit envious is when I heard people speak about, you know, doing art, practicing art.  And when I was in my early twenties and feeling quite depressed at being a single parent not knowing what I was doing, I had a really powerful dream, and in the dream I was encouraged to go and study art, and I was quite confused.  I was thinking “You know, I know I like it, but you know I’ve already got one degree or I’m getting a degree, and it took me five years to act on that dream.”

The evening before I started my foundation degree in art, I had another dream, and I knew absolutely that I was doing the right thing, and that was about … probably about 10 years ago now, and I really feel it being the most wonderful journey.  And I’m so glad I returned to art; and I did have people say to me “Oh, are you sure it’s the right time?  Are you sure you’re not being a bit selfish?  You’ve got children, you need to work.”  I absolutely would encourage anyone who has an inkling to do it.  It’s been brilliant, and I know that I’m on the right path now.

Toni: So it really … that’s such an interesting way to put that, that it almost … you did have a dream.  You knew there was something you were drawn to about it but it was … I liked the word that you used, the “inkling” and it was staying with that, really being aware of what that was.

Amelia: Absolutely, and although it took five years, it never left me, that sort of “Ooh, you know, I haven’t acted on it.  I need to do this.”  And then when I did it, it absolutely fell into place.

Toni: That’s fantastic.  So what do you do now to continue to explore your own potential?

Amelia: I guess what gets me to explore my own potential is often the situations I find myself in.  If I’m finding things difficult, which I certainly have done over the years being a young mom and not feeling like I’ve had enough money at times, is to look at the situation and think “How can I turn this on its head?  How can I make this different?”

Particularly by documenting my process and my journey through art has been one way to explore my potential, but also I often find myself thinking “What do I need?”  I feel like I need more money or I need more time or I need something, and recently I thought “Well how can I turn that around?  How can I think about what I could give back instead of thinking about what I need?”  And then I try to turn things right around, trying to turn a concept or an idea right around to its opposite.

Recently I’ve come up with something called Gift Grants which stems from knowing how I felt many years ago.  I was much younger, and I wanted to do art and feeling I didn’t have enough money and, you know, basically I really want to help other people if they feel that they haven’t got something they need through giving this grant and getting people to apply for it.  I have got that on my website, but I’m learning there are a couple of issues possibly about people receiving from an individual, and I’m going to look at how I can move this forward.

I’ve also worked with … in a nursing home for a year as an art tutor and running other projects, and that really got me to look at my life and maybe what we all need to do, and I felt very strongly I need to look after myself.  I need to eat well, exercise well, sleep well, and do something I love because life is very … is short, and it was a really wonderful experience working with people who are at the end of their lives and engaging together, communicating, and that really got me to look at things about myself, too.

Toni: You have come across, from my perspective – people will have their own that are reading the transcript and listening to your interview – but to me you have come across as a very special person who has had some trials and challenges, but you’ve also stayed the course.  And the fact that you’ve not only stayed the course, you’re doing what you love, you’re establishing a grant to give to other women so they have the opportunity to pursue what they’re doing even though you’re still struggling yourself at times, as you said.  I think that’s pretty amazing.  That’s really …

Amelia: Well thank you.

Toni: That is very, very cool.  That’s why this Project is so cool, because we get to meet people like you.

Amelia: Oh, well thank you very much for saying that, because I do definitely make decisions and do things and probably like many people wonder what I’m doing.  But also I think if I don’t try it I will never know, and it’s a brilliant way to connect with people.  I’ve really enjoyed working with people and connecting with people and hearing their stories, too, and that’s very much why I am launching this e-course because it takes me back to a time when I often wanted to go and do art courses myself, and I couldn’t afford the child care or I couldn’t find the child care.

The internet has opened up so many opportunities, and I’ve come across e-courses recently and just thought what a brilliant idea for people to be able to study or learn and share from the comfort of their own home and connect with others and still have access to things, particularly if they are a parent.  Again, that’s something that hopefully will be accessible to people and because, again, I know how much it’s meant to me, and I guess that’s a strong place to come from is sort of your own experiences, really.

Toni: To give back.  It’s very, very powerful and, you know, from your place of experience, I think that’s amazing.  Amelia, thank you so very much for agreeing to be part of the Project and, as stated, people can read your blog and get to your website.  We will post those links at the bottom of the interview, and we thank you so very much for everything that you’ve given us today.

Amelia: Oh, thank you, too.  I feel very honored, it’s been great.

Toni: Well take care of yourself, Amelia.  It was a pleasure.

Amelia: And you.  Thank you.

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For more information about Amelia Critchlow:   www.ameliacritchlow.co.uk, www.101birdtales.blogspot.com

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Right click here to download…

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Toni Reece: Thank you so much, Cindy, for agreeing to be part of the Project today, and before we begin, can you please introduce yourself?

Cindy Laverty: Yes, I’m Cindy Laverty and I am the founder of the CARE Company in Los Angeles, and I am a radio talk host.  The show is called The Cindy Laverty Show, and it’s the first commercial radio show dedicated to the subject of care.

Toni: Well, congratulations.

Cindy: Thank you.

Toni: So Cindy, when you think about that word inspiration, who do you think that you inspire and how do you do that?

Cindy: Well of course my goal is to always inspire my listeners by bringing them new ways of looking at care in their lives and how instead of recoiling from the idea of care how we can embrace care in our personal lives so we care better for ourselves so we can ultimately care better for each other.  I believe that we are all caregivers for each other, so instead of looking at care as possibly something we don’t want to embrace, maybe we can open our hearts and embrace that.

Toni: How do you do that?  How do you get that message across that by embracing care we will be able to care more for others?  How does that happen?

Cindy: Well I’m very blessed, because I have this lovely forum of having a radio show every week, and it, you know, it streams live on the internet and it airs, you know, three times a week, so I get to have that forum.  But what I try to do is to find people, ideas, concepts that we don’t always think of in terms of care, and when I can find people who embrace this subject in ways that we haven’t always looked at it, then I think it becomes inspiring; so it’s usually, you know, it’s an interview process on the radio show.  I also write and I speak to audiences about topics that are troubling in our lives that we have to look at from a different perspective.  So, you know, I’m blessed that I have this forum to do this.

Toni: When you’re … let’s say when you’re talking to someone, you  have a guest on your radio show or the work that you do and you’re teaching others to care better for themselves or to embrace that care, what do you think then that that might translate into helping someone explore their potential in a different way?  What happens?

Cindy: When I’m speaking to people, I’m a big believer that we need to have some kind of a plan for ourselves.  So I try not to just speak about things in sort of esoteric terms, but rather in terms of, okay, there are steps that we can take that perhaps we didn’t learn about in school, you know, when we were learning reading, writing, and arithmetic.  I’m not sure we learned about setting boundaries for ourselves and learning personal care without being told that that’s selfish, so I try to give people some concrete formal ideas on actually how to create the life that you want while living in your own personal integrity.

I’m really passionate about this subject, so I think that comes through because, you know, I wasn’t always good at this.  I can honestly tell you that a few years ago, several years ago, I had no idea how to care for myself, and I had to learn that pretty far into my adult life.  And personal experience, I think, is sometimes more powerful than having a degree in telling people what to do.

Toni: I agree with you on that point as well, but what I’m hearing from you … your answer to the potential is that if you are sharing your experience or you are asking questions in a way that you can help people to create the life that they want, by taking the first step of learning to care for themselves, I can only imagine the doors then that would open for people that aren’t currently taking care of themselves when they start to do that mentally and physically based on the work that you do.  I can only imagine then what’s possible for their potential.

Cindy: Well, we all have the potential and the possibility of creating a life that we want.  It doesn’t always unfold in ways that we think it’s going to.  It doesn’t always arrive at our doorstep in a neat little gift box tied with a pretty bow, but it’s there.  And I think for me, the goal is to really try to have people embrace the uniqueness and the beauty of who they are — whether they think that’s a perfect image or not — but to embrace that and be okay with feelings and being honest and forthright in your beliefs and what it is that you want to do and try to pursue that in whatever way they can.

Toni: So what inspires you?

Cindy: Oh my gosh – so many things inspire me.  I am inspired … well, you know, I try to get inspired by myself.  You know, when I’m having a day where I’m feeling pretty uninspired, I go and I sit in the silence, and I try to listen to my soul because I feel like my soul speaks to me in volumes, only it’s always very quiet.  I think that’s true for all of us.  People who are living their lives in what appear to be adverse situations but always seem to emerge and live in the life inspire me.

And then I’m inspired by just the tiniest littlest things, you know?  Somebody reaching a hand out to someone and helping them across the street if they need it.  You know, when you’ve decided to live your life to talk about care and redefining care in America, I think you get to look for little things that make a big difference.

Toni: Yeah, that word “care” can mean things that are just done every single day as random acts of kindness to, you know, the things that we do by just going to a doctor or a dentist or, you know, care can mean so many things on so many levels.

Cindy: Yeah, and I think it’s great for people to think of themselves as “You know what?  Yeah, I’m a caregiver.  I’m a caregiver to my family” or “I’m a caregiver to my pet” or whatever.  It’s a good thing.

Toni: So when you … during the times that you need to be inspired and you’re looking for that inspiration, are there tools or methodologies that you tend to reach for consistently?

Cindy: Yes, there are.  The first thing I do is I usually try to, you know, get quiet, meditate, focus on what’s going on inside of me.  That’s step number one.  I get out into nature a lot.  I’ll take a hike, and I’ll be quiet, and I’ll be by myself.  And I might not necessarily tell anybody where I’m going.  Or I will go to the beach, and I will sit on the beach and watch the ocean which is, you know, ever-changing and ever-moving, and it can be calm and still and quiet, and yet there’s always movement.

I read great authors.  I have authors who are very special to me.  Or I listen to music.  I just try to get away from the hectic life that we all so often are leading and sort of reconnect with the simplicity of the soul.  It’s simple and yet it’s so complex, and I think our society today drives us away from that.

Toni: Cindy, you made a comment during the interview that you weren’t always like this, that it’s taken you a while to get there, and there’s a lot of people who are listening and reading the interviews and they may be in the same place as far as, you know, “I’d like to be a little more … give myself more self-care and be more aware and create that life that I know that I want to live, and so here’s a woman that shows up on the Project that’s saying, ‘You know, I wasn’t always like that.’”  So where … was there a turning point for you, was there an evolution?  Is there a way that you can describe … I know we have a short amount of time, but is there a way that you can describe how you came to that place?

Cindy: Yes.  There was an evolution for me.  I was asked by my ex-father-in-law to check on his wife and pay his bills when he had open heart surgery at the age of 83.  I agreed to do that.  There were all kinds of complications, and I was thrown into a situation that I knew nothing about and chaos was reigning supreme in my life.  I was forever tired, I was forever exhausted, I felt unappreciated, I was snappy, I wasn’t sleeping – all symptoms that my soul was just screaming at me, and I wasn’t listening because I thought I have to do everything.  I do everything for everybody else.  I give, give, give, give; but the person who I forgot to give to was me.

And one day I literally almost had, you know, like a total breakdown in a doctor’s office with him while I was caring for him and I just went “I gotta get outta here for a couple of days.  I’ve got to just go check in with myself.  I’ve got to check in with my soul.”  And I started reading, and I started meditating, and I just knew I had to do a different thing.  It wasn’t that I had to … it was that I must do it, or I was going to lose myself.  And I think when your “have-tos” become your “musts,” then things actually change for you.

So I started with little baby steps.  I took time out for myself in the morning.  I didn’t feel the need to get up and make breakfast for everybody in the family.  I said “You know what?  You guys can all make your own breakfast, you’re all adults.”  So I did that; so that was my time to go for a walk or that was my time to sit in quiet and have a cup of tea and read.  And then I would start my day.

And so I just did this in little, tiny, incremental steps, and one day I took the big step and I went “You know what?  I’m not going to go to that house today, I’m going to take care of me and I’m not going to feel guilty about it.”  Because when you’re a caregiver, it’s a 7-day-a-week, 365-days-a-year job.

And so if you’re completely depleted, you’re no good for anybody.  You’re not good for yourself, you’re not good for your family, and you’re certainly not good for the person for whom you’re caring.  So I … and then I got okay with being a little bit selfish.  I was okay with that, and I think when you get okay with the fact that you have to care for yourself, things just become a lot easier.

Toni: I can hear that you gave yourself the oxygen first.

Cindy: I did.  But I wasn’t always doing that.

Toni: Right, right.  And that … thank you so very much  for sharing that.  So how do you take all of this now, this awareness, this work, this wonderful journey that you’re on now, and how do you continue to explore your own potential?

Cindy: Well, I push myself a lot.  I write a lot.  I either journal, or I write articles.  When something comes to me, I explore the different sides of it and then I usually write about it.  Writing for me is a great relief, and I continue to try to meet people who are always challenging me, you know?

I did something this year that I’ve never done before, and I reached out and I asked somebody to be my business mentor.  I actually reached out and asked for a support system, and the amazing thing is that I was terrified to do this because I was the girl who could do everything, you know?  I reached out, not to friends necessarily, but to people who I knew would push me, who would challenge me, who would keep me centered.  And the amazing thing is that every single person who I reached out to I got this resounding “Yes.”

And so when I need inspiration or when I need to get challenged or I need somebody who’s not going to say “Oh yes, Cindy, I think that’s a really good idea.” I need somebody who can say “Yeah, I’m not sure that’s a good idea.”  I reach out to these people, and so they keep me looking for inspiration.  They keep me growing.  They keep me on my toes, so to speak.

Toni: It’s amazing when you speak of reaching out and helping … reaching out and asking for help is also such an amazing example of self-care.

Cindy: Yes, and you know I didn’t know that it would be until I actually had the lovely fortune and privilege of experiencing equine therapy, because I was having this woman on my show and somehow, you know, through the course of our time together this is what came up.  She said “Do you have a really good support system?” and I was like “Well, yeah.”  And she said “Really, do you?”  And so there I was, and so she really gave that assignment to do before I had her on my show.

I took the time to figure out who these people would be and what I would ask each of them to do, and there were only like five of them, but it’s powerful.  Asking – actually asking – for support and saying “I can’t do it all myself and I need you” – people love to be needed.

Toni: Oh they do, and they love to help.  You know, there’s many, many people who love to help.  Well, I’ll tell you, Cindy, you have given so much great information for those of us who know we need to do a little bit better in the self-care arena for ourselves, but also how powerful that is because by doing that, you can help people take care of themselves better.  And that’s the message that you’ve given through this and also sharing your personal journey of turning it into “This is what I must do for your own self-care and survival.”  That’s powerful, and we can’t thank you enough for sharing that on the Get Inspired! Project.

Cindy: Oh, Toni, I thank you, and I honor you for the work that you’re doing.

Toni: Thank you, Cindy, and we will post at the bottom of your interview how to find your radio show as well as learn a little bit about your business.  So thank you again, Cindy, for being part of the Project.

Cindy: Thank you, Toni.

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For more information about Cindy Laverty:  www.cindylavertyshow.com

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