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Toni Reece: Thank you so much, Barbara, for being part of this Project, and before we begin, can you please introduce yourself?

Barbara Bellissimo: Sure, Toni.  Thanks for having me.  My name is Barbara Bellissimo.  I am Master Mentor and Personal Champion at howtoaskformoney.com.  My mission is to empower professional women to ask for and get the money that they deserve.

Toni: Well thank you very much Barbara, for being here.  When you think of that word inspiration, who do you inspire, and how does that happen?

Barbara: Ah, I thought you were going to flip that question around as who inspires me!  Who do I inspire?  I inspire women who feel really confident in their work and really passionate about what they do to crank up their courage and get over their money fears to ask for the pricing that they deserve, the value to embrace confidently the full value of their worth so that they can ask for and get the money that they deserve.

Toni: How do you … can you give an example of how you inspire women to do that?

Barbara: Sure.  A lot of it is reflecting themselves and their worth back to them.  One of my gifts is an ability to do that, to talk to various people in ways that they can hear.  I can quickly adjust messaging so that people can hear what I’m saying or get a message out of what I’m writing.  So I turned that gift into empowering women and talking with them, reflecting back to them their gifts, their value, their leadership qualities, and then working with them, training, practicing, championing them to use those leadership qualities to confidently ask for what they want.

Toni: Now, you use the word champion, which … I love that word, and when you champion people and inspire these women to go for their worth and their value, how does it help them then to explore their own potential?

Barbara: It’s really exciting.  We usually start with something small.  As with anything you’re just learning to do, you want to start with small projects so that you can build your confidence.  And it’s really amazing to see women who start out just asking their families to get out the door on time in the morning, three or six months later asking major clients for a $250,000 consulting job.

Toni: So it really is a building … that’s a great … what an example that is!

Barbara: It’s all about starting a movement.

Toni: Absolutely.  So when women start to feel that empowerment and their worth kicks in as far as the value of that, what else happens?

Barbara: It transforms their lives.  Once they start building confidence around their business, which is usually how I first meet women is they’re having challenges in their business or they’re working for nonprofit organizations and they’re having challenges raising money for their cause.  I usually meet them in a professional capacity.

And as they start building their confidence professionally, it seeps into and just becomes a natural part of who they are.  And in their personal lives, in their community service, they really start asking for what they want and getting it in terms of their relationship, in terms of their local government, in terms of basically whatever it is they want or need to make their lives what they want them to be, because they’ve built up this confidence around asking for money.  They can pretty much ask for whatever else they want and get it and start to create the lives that they deserve.

Toni: So Barbara, here’s the question – what inspires you?

Barbara: Powerful women inspire me.  My mother inspires me.  She was a single parent back in the late 60s, early 70s, raising three kids on her own when it wasn’t easy and there weren’t a lot of options open to professional women.

Women who sort of cast off stereotypes.  Women who have found the strengths internally to persevere and get what they want, ask for what they want and get it, and women who reach out and help other women.  Women who think of new ways to create a movement, to start to bring women together as a force, a powerful force.

Toni: Are there tools or resources that you find yourself going to on a consistent basis when you need to fill that inspiration bucket up?

Barbara: When I need to fill my own inspiration bucket up, I reach out.  I’m starting a mastermind group, so it’s a group of like-minded women, women who are working with other professional women in various ways, some more creatively than my work, helping women with logo design or artwork.  Others helping women to find their true purpose.

So I tend to go to that mastermind group when I need inspiration and pretty much say, “I’m tapped out.  I’m at the bottom of my own personal bucket, can you help me?  Can you share with me some things that have inspired you lately?”

I also have a group of four really good friends, girlfriends.  We’ve been friends for a long time, and when I feel I need my inspiration bucket filled up, I try and get us together for a weekend off where we can share our recent accomplishments and support each other through whatever is coming up next.

Toni: So it really is all about collaboration for you, isn’t it?

Barbara: Oh, it is.  It is.  I certainly believe that nobody can do it alone.  That was one of the challenges I faced early on in my life was sort of giving up control or realizing that I can’t do everything well, and that it really is easier for me to find people, particularly other women, who can do things well that I don’t do well and to work together and collaborate.

Toni: Right, and that’s what I’m picking up from you.  Not only in who you inspire as far as the women that you’re helping and championing them, but also what inspires you are other women and your friends, and, you know, the mastermind groups and so forth.

Barbara: Exactly.

Toni: There’s not a whole lot of isolation in any of these answers.

Barbara: Yes, that’s true.  Very true.

Toni: So what are you doing now to explore your own potential?

Barbara: Ah … I am working particularly with my mastermind group.  We were just talking last week in fact about fears and qualms around lots of opportunities.  There are lots of opportunities presenting themselves to me right now for whatever reason.  The Universe is kind and the Universe is presenting me with a lot of options right now, and I tend to find myself thinking, “Oh my gosh, if all of this happens, how am I going to handle all the clients?  How am I going to handle all the work?  How am I going to make time to do all these things?”

I’m really reaching out to my colleagues, particularly in the mastermind, to help me deal with those challenges to overcome those fears of success, if you will, and to really take things one step at a time and to celebrate the smaller things instead of worrying about the big giant issues.

Toni: What a great way to position your own fears, but also reaching out to resources, being able to be aware of that fear, and realizing that.  That is something that a lot of women don’t do is they don’t realize that there is a fear of success.

Barbara: Of course, of course.  And it’s actually been proven through research.  Back in the early 70s, there were a couple of psychological researchers who surveyed 150 professional women and discovered that each one of them felt like a phony and hence identified what is now known as the imposter factor, that women tend to attribute their success to external factors like luck or being in the right place at the right time and their failure to internal factors like “I wasn’t skilled enough” or “I didn’t know what I was doing.”  And men are exactly the opposite.  Various research studies since then have borne that out.

So some people may be listening to this and going, “Oh my gosh, it’s genetic, I have no choice,” but you do.  You do have a choice, and it really is about not being isolated and focusing on the internal and worrying that it’s your fault you’re not successful or that you’re feeling challenged, when it could be your fault that you’re actually going to be successful and to finding those qualities about yourself to help you do that.

Toni: Well thank you for being so honest about your own journey so that others listening or reading your transcript can benefit from that.  And just for being part of the Project, Barbara, we cannot thank you enough.  It’s been a pleasure.

Barbara: Oh, it’s been great for me, Toni.  Thank you so much.

Toni: Okay, Barbara, take care.

Barbara: You too.

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For more information about Barbara Bellissimo:  www.howtoaskformoney.com

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Toni Reece: Thank you so much, Ryan, for agreeing to be part of the Project, and before we begin, can you please introduce yourself?

Ryan Hreljac: Hello.  My name is Ryan Hreljac.  I’m 19 years old, from Kempville, Ontario, and when I was six, I started a project to build clean water wells in developing countries.

Toni: When you were six.

Ryan: When I was six.  It was a grade one school project, and I remember my teacher brought in this list of things we could say for our charity project that we were doing that year, and it was like one cent was for a pencil, two dollars was for a blanket, and it went on and on until she said 70 bucks was for a well.

And then she explained to us, you know, people were dying in the world because they don’t have clean water.  To a whole bunch of grade ones, we were kind of like, “What do you mean?  Why don’t they just go to the water fountain?”  So my teacher had to explain to us, they don’t have water fountains in a lot of other parts of this big world that we live in.  Some places they have to walk as far as five kilometers to get clean water.

So, if you’re in grade one, it’s sort of like, “How far is five kilometers?”  My teacher said, 5,000 steps.  And I remember counting the steps it took me to get from my classroom to the water fountain, and I counted ten.

I had just come out of kindergarten, so one thing that was really stressed on us was sharing.  I had two brothers at the time, and you had to share this, share that, so I just took it as the nature, I guess, to be something that I felt I had to share, so I figured I had the solution.  One well would fix the entire problem, and that would cost $70.  So I went home to my mom and dad and said, “Mom and dad, can I have 70 bucks for the well?”  They were like, “Oh, that’s nice” and went along doing household things.

Then a few days after, I kind of didn’t let it go at all and I made them feel guilty about not helping me.  So they finally sat me down and said, “If you’re serious about this, that’s fine, but we’re not just going to give you the money, like here’s $70, off you go.  If you want to, you can do extra chores, and then we’ll give you something called an allowance and then you can raise the money that way.”

So then after about four months of vacuuming, washing windows, and all that fun, fun stuff, I finally raised about $75, and then I figured out it was going to cost $2,000.  And my first instinct was I just need more chores, but that didn’t really work out.  So when I was seven I did my first public speech at the Kempville Rotary Club.  When I was a kid, I went to speech therapy, and I was probably one of the worst kids you could choose for public speaking, so a lot of the words didn’t actually get across, but the message did.  Here’s this kid, not anything too special about him, who just wanted to make a difference.

So that kind of went on and on and on and, you know, I met a whole bunch of kids, a whole bunch of people, and it became less and less of my project and more of everyone’s from the community to the country and now the world where we’ve got this foundation that’s approaching its 10th anniversary, and we’ve done work to supply almost 700,000 people with clean water.  We’ve done about 600 water sanitation projects, and yeah, we’re doing great works still.

Toni: Well, congratulations, Ryan.  My goodness, to begin that type of work at six years of age is pretty impressive.  Let me ask you then, Ryan, who do you think you inspire, and how does it happen?

Ryan: Well, I think it’s a mutual thing.  I kind of help to inspire just other kids who not necessarily would be activists before or consider themselves in that way, because the average person can make a global impact by doing simple involvement in things.  I like to think that I’m that person and that person who gets involved who doesn’t have to or doesn’t … who feels that they can live a life of moderation and also contribute to the world as a global citizen.  I just see more and more examples of people who are doing little things and little projects, and there’s no shortage of those, and those people inspire me.  And I think, yeah, it’s a mutual community.

Toni: How do you help other people to explore their potential?

Ryan: Well, it’s just a matter of giving people the options, because not everyone is, like I said, passionate, let’s say, about the world’s water crisis.  It’s a huge problem.  Six thousand kids die every day because of it, so it’s like 20 full jumbo jets, and that’s preventable water illnesses.  So it’s a pretty bleak situation, but it’s also a simple solution on a lot of fronts, but that many people might not feel this compelled to do that.  Maybe it’s something in their own communities or something about literature or the environment or something like that.

Something small that they feel is not how it’s supposed to be, and rather than looking at it and saying, “Oh, it’s a big problem” being naïve enough to go out and find the solution, even if you think $70 is going to fix the world’s water crisis, because it’s usually not even idealistic.  It’s amazing what can happen, and it’s easy to do that when you’re young.

Toni: I would imagine as well that not only are you helping other young adults and kids to become … to volunteer and to take care of these situations or help to make a difference as you say, however, there’s also a potential I would imagine that’s being explored when people are given water to drink.

Ryan: It’s just one of those fundamental building blocks that helps people build their own lives around them, so kids don’t have to spend eight hours a day trucking water back and forth, they can go to school.  Health, agriculture … and just gives people the … if in certain situations where that’s … it’s just helping people build their own lives, and it’s very important.

Toni: What inspires you, Ryan?

Ryan: What inspires me?  Just … I think I kind of mentioned it before about the people I inspire or whatever that question was, it was just when I see other not necessarily kids but people who forget the fact of who they are in a sense is “I’m just a student,” “I’m just a teacher,” “I’m just nobody,” and you try to be somebody in your own particular way to make a difference.

It’s … yeah, it’s probably the most cheesy thing ever, but I just love hearing more examples of people who forget about that and they just do what they want to do and don’t care if it’s not going to fix the entire problem or not going to make the biggest impact on the world, but are naïve enough to do what I did when I was six.  And it’s amazing what can happen over time.

Toni: Do you find yourself having to convince people that you were actually able to make that sort of a difference at six years old?  Do people stand in front of you going, “Oh yeah, come on …”

Ryan: Well, I guess one of the things about it is that I just refused to listen to the fact that there was a huge problem in the world.  I thought up until the day I raised $2,000 that one well was going to bring clean water to the entire world because I was six.  I thought the world was a village, almost.  It’s interesting to hear when you grow up that it’s a lot bleaker than that, but the future is a lot shinier, too, if you look at it through the bright shiny glasses, and yeah, if you’re naïve enough, you can be part of that solution.

Toni: Ryan, have you been able to visit any of the places you’ve helped to create the clean water?

Ryan: Well, when I was nine, I actually got to go to Uganda to see my very first well that was drilled.  Our neighbors gave us air mile points so we were able to go.  Yeah, just see … and I’ve been back a couple times since then, but just to see people’s faces just light up because they have clean water.

When I went to the school, there was a huge celebration.  There was like 5,000 people there from all around the district, and they were just so happy because they had clean water.  I don’t have a smile that lights up on my face because I could have a shower in the morning or … it just put things into perspective of what I needed to be happy, and yeah …

Toni: What else inspires you, Ryan?  Are there tools or resources that you tend to reach for when you’re looking for inspiration?

Ryan: Inspiration … well, it’s just … it can go pretty far.  I met a whole bunch of inspiring people along the way who have made an impact on me, but whenever I’m looking for inspiration I guess I just think about those ten steps that I took when I was in grade one.  You know, you have to dumb it down to be simple sometimes to just keep on going, because that’s what it is all about in the end.

Toni: So how are you exploring your own potential now?

Ryan: Well, I’m going to my second year of University in Halifax, and who knows?  We’ll see.

Toni: And what are you going for?

Ryan: Undeclared, but I’m thinking about a double major in political science and international development.

Toni: International what?

Ryan: Development.

Toni: Development.  Can’t understand why!  Well that is fantastic.  I really … it’s interesting, you are … it sounds so nonchalant, actually, from you as far as the difference that you’re making.  You’re not …

Ryan: Well, it’s … I guess one of the things that kind of gets lost in there is some people, they look at the Foundation – it’s called the Ryan’s Well Foundation – and it’s based on what I started when I was six, and I’ve been involved in it ever since.  But it’s a lot more than just me.

I think I said as much as it’s my project, it’s everyone’s project, because it grew into my community.  My friends were helping.  The school was helping.  And now we have an awesome team of volunteers, we have staff, we have a great board, and we’re all contributing in our own way, and I’m just one of those people.

Toni: Right.  The point that I wanted to make there is that you don’t sound nonchalant as far as not caring; it’s just such an unassuming presence that you have in this interview about yourself and the work that you’ve done over a lifetime – and you’re only 19 – and that you are providing clean water in areas that do not have that.  That is significant.  So to hear a 19-year-old express it the way you are as just what you do, you know, it’s just what you’re doing – that I’m finding very, very interesting.

Ryan: Cool.  I never really looked at it that way, but yeah …

Toni: Yeah, it’s just amazing.  Well, you’ve been a breath of fresh air, quite frankly.  And Ryan, I wish you the best of luck, and I hope that you continue to do the great work that you’re doing.  We will position the website so people can see and take a look at your foundation for more information, and if you’re doing this at 19, I can’t imagine what you’ll be doing at 30.  We look forward to seeing you in the future, and thank you.

Ryan: Thanks so much, Toni.

Toni: Take care.

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For more information about Ryan Hreljac:  www.ryanswell.ca

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Toni Reece: Thank you so much, Victoria, for agreeing to be part of the Project today, and before we begin, can you please introduce yourself?

Victoria Vetere: Well thank you, and first I want to thank you very much for the opportunity to participate today, and for the amazing Project that you’ve created.

Toni: Thank you.

Victoria: You are most welcome.  I’m a life coach, a facilitator, a teacher, a writer, a speaker, and I mostly call myself an enlightenment instigator.  I’m also a student of life, and I love to learn, and any opportunity I have to expand myself, I’m very, very there.

Before this, I was a psychotherapist for a long time, and at one point I realized that I had spiritually outgrown in my way of thinking my profession, and therefore I shifted into using my coaching credentials and focus now more on life enhancement.

This year I cofounded an enlightenment community.  We’re a heart-centered tribe, and we’re called Enlightened Life Lovers, so that’s been a lot of fun.  In October, I’ll launch a new company called Lotus Health and Longevity, and we write customized health and longevity programs for our members.  So that’s what I’m up to.

Toni: Well thank you so much, Victoria.

Victoria: You’re welcome.

Toni: When you think of the word inspiration, who do you inspire, and how does that happen?

Victoria: Well, you know, I really feel that I inspire those who are open and searching.  I think it’s really a matter of synchronicity who comes to us and how we find each other.  And interestingly, actually since all relationships are really mirrors, people inspire themselves through me.  I try to stay out of the way and become a vehicle for them to reach themselves.  I give voice to their questions and their yearnings at times, and I used to be interested in the answers, and now I realize as I do this work that it’s the questions that are the juicy part.  And to ask with the wonder and the openness of a child expands us, so that’s where I go with people.

Toni: Can you tell me how you might help others to explore their potential and give an example of that?

Victoria: Well, you know, I invite people to a place of discovery and authenticity and intimacy within themselves.  We come from so many, you know, places where we’re told what to do and how to do it that there’s so many coverings and layers that are blocking us from really tapping deeply into who we really are.  I try to help people to connect the dots and to see the bigger picture.  I teach my clients and my students energetic principles that reveal how they’re creating their world, and how they can create more consciously that which they really desire and that which brings them more joy in life.

For me, the key is to realize that we’re not separate, that nothing is separate, that to be able to see everything as some sacred extension of one’s own heart and soul really releases the fear and anxiety in life and opens a gateway for us to experience what I would call heaven on earth, which is a portal to see that anything is possible.  So that’s … I mostly teach people how to open that sense in themselves.

Toni: Victoria, when you talk about your work with people around the energetic principles, for those of us that may not know what they are, can you give us an example of that?

Victoria: Yeah.  You know, I study Eastern and Western science, and it’s really beautiful, because now we’re at a point in human evolution where we understand that science and spirituality are really reconnecting and overlapping.

The principles I talk about are principles that are more along the lines of quantum physics that, you know … I don’t teach people academic courses in quantum physics, but we look at these principles – and many, many writers have done a very, very good job of explaining these to us.  Two that come to mind are Greg Braden and Deepak Chopra … and to explain these things to people in a way that they understand that there’s an energetic fabric, that things are very, very real before we can actually see them.  In fact, 96% of what is is not perceptible by our five senses; only 4% is.  So we’re working with a very, very small slice if we’re just looking at what is.

So I help people to expand their consciousness to understand that what they can’t see yet is really where the creative juices are and where their unbelievable potential lies.

Toni: Do they get there?

Victoria: Oh, absolutely.  Well we already are there.  It’s already within the realm of … we create on the physical no matter whether it’s money or jobs or relationships or health from the order of nonperceivable layers of energy, which is our thoughts and our feelings.  So those two are really driving the train.

And when we see something manifest, we don’t realize how it got there.  So I help people to understand how they’ve created what they’ve created and to honor all of that, whether they like it or not, so that then they can shift their point of creating the next chapter from resistance to compassion and expansion.

Toni: I love that.  So what inspires you?

Victoria: Well, I love that question, and I had to think about it a little bit.  I need space and silence and peace and calm in order to really get to a layer of me that I feel is where my inspiration lies.  I need to be in love rather than in fear as a state of being.

And being in nature or with my cats, with animals, helps me a great deal.  Often I’ll get a revelation of some sort while I’m doing a yoga pose or in the shower.  Water inspires me.  Animals I feel are incredible sages.  My friends keep me on my toes and they also ground me.  And my mom, who is 90, she inspires me a tremendous amount with her love and courage, and she’s still an extremely very playful person.  So those are the things I think in my personal life that really, really touch me and inspire me.

Toni: When you were moving into the type of work that you are doing, when … let me just back up here a second.  With the Get Inspired! Project … I have said this many times in the last couple of interviews.  The unintended outcome of this Project has been people talking about what they’re passionate about and what their purpose is, and not everybody … really, probably less people know what that is than those who do.  So you’ve moved into this path and you do this type of work; was that something you always felt you were meant to do?

Victoria: You know, it’s interesting.  I tell people who are struggling with “What do I want to be when I grow up?” … and you know, many, many people are looking at that now, which I think is amazing and wonderful.  You know, I have been the person that I am in terms of my quest for knowledge, my sense of really wanting to understand how things work and having an openness to sort of the spiritual or the nonphysical realm ever since I was very little, although I’ve had several career paths along the way.  I did writing.  I was a producer on television, a sports writer for a television news station.  I taught tennis for 13 years.

So I mean, along the way I did other things.  But if I go back and I look at the thread in all of them, it always had to do with, you know, somehow expression, helping people find their potential, somehow understanding that there’s more than what we see right now.  So there’s been a thread through all of it, and as I look back, I’m the same person I was when I was a little kid.

Toni: Right, and it’s really what you’ve done.  Well, maybe not purposefully, but what it’s turned into and tapping into that common thread sounds … that’s what you’re doing now.

Victoria: It is, and I tell people, you know, don’t get hung up on trying to find the exact niche or role that’s going to be the thing that’s going to float your boat.  There will probably be a lot of them.  Let’s look at the colors and flavors of who you are.  There are many things that most people could do and be absolutely enchanted by.  That’s the issue – not what hat do I wear or what do I write on my nametag.

Toni: I so agree with you.  So, Victoria, what are you doing now to explore your own potential?

Victoria: Well, you mean at the moment, or …

Toni: At the moment, ongoing …

Victoria: Well, what I do to explore my potential is, you know, I’m always looking to believe in myself more and more and more and to follow my heart.  Right now, I’m creating a new group semester where we’re going to be doing seven group classes on heart-centered living.  So we’ll be doing some expansion into meditation, yoga, mindfulness, and helping people to really kind of get below the thinking.  It helps me to surround myself with a lot of heart-centered people who are open and authentic and supportive, and I find that I keep wanting to expand my community to find more folks like that.

You know, it’s also been interesting at the hard knocks and the forks in the road of my life have also been helpful to me.  It’s amazing what you can find in yourself, you know, when you’re on your knees.  And so there are times when I see obstacles or challenges, you know, as I understand the spiritual teachers that they are as well, so I’ve become a little softer with those in terms of exploring my own potential.

Toni: What a great way to describe how you explore your own potential and how those times that you’re on your knees can be the great teaching moments, and it’s so true.  I mean … and we don’t realize it at the time.

Victoria: No.  That’s what … I tell my clients, you know, faith is just a word in the dictionary, until you really need it.  When the rubber meets the road, that word takes on a whole new dimension and it has meaning then.

Toni: Victoria, thank you so much for what you have provided today in this interview, and we look forward to learning a little bit more about you as well.  I know we will include links at the bottom of the transcript, but thank you so much for taking time out of your day to be part of this Get Inspired! Project.

Victoria: Thank you very much, and I send my best wishes.

Toni: Thank you.  Take care.

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For more information about Victoria Vetere:  www.EnlightenedLifeCoaching.com, www.DoYouLotus.com, www.ZenCatGallery.com

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Toni Reece: Thank you so much, Nancie, for agreeing to be part of this Project, and before we begin, can you please introduce yourself?

Nancie McDermott: Sure.  It’s an honor and a pleasure.  I’m Nancie McDermott.  I’m a food writer, cooking teacher, and I write cookbooks, mostly.  I live in Chapel Hill, North Carolina, and I’m a North Carolina native.  I spent my first 21 years here, went to Peace Corps in Thailand, lived in New York City, lived in southern California after I got married for 15 years, and 10 years ago moved back here with my husband and two daughters, who are now 15 and 19.  I just feel very lucky to be who I am, doing what I am doing.

Toni: Well, fantastic, and we feel very fortunate to have you on the Project.  Nancie, when you think of the word inspiration, who do you inspire, and how does that happen?

Nancie: Who do I inspire?

Toni: Yes.

Nancie: I inspire everyday people.  I think just work wise what I give people is what I’ve always appreciated getting, which is encouragement and confidence to just go out there and do something and set perfectionism aside.  Perfectionism is my big demon, and I will, I’m sure, on my very last day be saying, “Oh yeah, we needed to get that lesson again today.”  Because my expertise as a cookbook author is not that I studied in France or, you know, have worked in a restaurant kitchen, but I’m an everyday person who always loved to cook since I was a kid, and I love to do it.

I personally love to scout around and go to the Asian market and try something really hard, but I’m also very grateful to find a box of macaroni and cheese on a night when my kids were little.  So I love it for the pleasure of it, I love it for the accomplishment, and I just think it’s this quintessential connection to life and answer to the world’s problems – cooking and eating and sharing it with people.

I think that’s just a truth in my life, and I think when I write about it and teach it and so forth, that’s the message that people get.  And I just feel really lucky when somebody like sends me an email or writes me a letter and says, “I made your ‘X’ and it came out great and my family really loved it, and we had a good time.”  I just think, “Wow!  I got to be in Oklahoma City or Shoboku, Japan or somewhere in a little way.”  That is really a treat.

Toni: How do you think you help others to explore their own potential?

Nancie: I give away the magic.  That is not my phrase – I got that from a “how to be a teacher” course that I took at UNCG when I came home from Thailand.  I taught English as a second language as a Peace Corps volunteer in middle schools and came back here and wanted to be a teacher … and so I had to take education courses.

One of my professors – I believe his name was Dr. Purple … I didn’t make that up – talked about teaching as … he didn’t say this, but there’s sort of the “I know something you don’t know” or “give away the magic” and I just … the first few years that I did it, I just worried so much that I would have time left over or forget something, and I always had to look at the recipes.  And I thought, “Oh God, they must think I’m such an idiot that I have to read my own recipe,” and you know, the rice would start burning while I was standing up there, and it took me probably about 10 years to realize that’s actually the best part of it for a lot of people.

Very few people are fooled that you are the brilliant genius you think you should be, and that I’m just up there doing something that I love and saying it’s okay to mess up, and saying, you know … my grandmother probably took 475 batches of biscuits before her biscuits got to be that good.  And so, if your third try doesn’t come out so great, so what?  Just keep trying or give up.  So I just kind of keep saying what works for me, and that seems to be a pleasure for me to do.

Toni: Well Nancie, do you think … tell me what you mean by giving away the magic.  What’s the magic?

Nancie: Well, when I find something out, then the truths that I find I share them.  And nothing makes me happier than somebody taking … learning something from me and then going on.  And if they open their own restaurant and got famous for it, I mean, a little part of me would say, “Oh no, I should have done that!”

You know, there’s this fear of like, you know, this is “my recipe” and your “secrets” and what I have that makes me special.  And I think that I really don’t have any secrets, but if I know something, I want to share it, and if somebody else can take it and do something even more successful with it, great, because I need to be figuring out something else wonderful, not holding onto that one.

Toni: Absolutely.

Nancie: Yeah, so just, you know, like here’s the cookbook.  I don’t want anybody to Xerox my cookbook and sell it.  I mean that … business wise, there’s an aspect of this where this is my income and my living.  But as far as what I share and that inspiring somebody else, or somebody else who’s doing Thai food or Southern food or something, it’s like … that’s all, you know, that’s all fueling the same fire.

Toni: And so, when someone is either in your presence as a student or as a customer of one of your books, I would imagine that their potential becomes explored in the realm of cooking, taking chances, and the ease with which you teach them.

Nancie: Exactly.  It just buffaloed me, when I was teaching in southern California 1985 to 1989 before I got the chance to do my first cookbook, and there were little cooking schools and big cooking schools all over the place.  And you could really make a living running around to all of those if you had a good car – all over the LA and Orange County and San Diego area.  I would go up to LA and teach classes at these fancy schools, and I’d try to look cool and act like I completely belonged there, but I was terrified, because, you know, Jacques Pepin had just been there and, you know, I just sort of felt like, I’m a fraud, but maybe they won’t catch it … if I really do something.

People would come up afterwards and say, “This was great … of course we never use recipes, but you know, we got some great ideas and really enjoyed your class.  Thanks so much.”  And I thought, well, if they don’t use recipes, why … you know, I couldn’t understand it.  Because first of all, I love recipes, and I think there are people who just can’t abide to follow one and there are people who cannot bear to vary from one.

I like to follow them, and then I’ve become over the years where I enjoy playing with things, and of course since I write recipes I’ve had to jump off the high dive and get in there and swim around.  But I really understand people who follow the recipe too carefully better than I understand the free spirits who always knew that that was okay, who always knew that this is just something that somebody wrote down, not The Ten Commandments right straight from God’s desk.

So that sense of what I need to be … and also I feel like sometimes it’s not even the recipes.  It’s … I think, you know, it’s kind of attitude.  I know that there are people that I like to listen to because I like their take on things.  I get reassured.  I get comforted.  I get inspiration, you know, from somebody who’s kind of saying “This is how it looks to me.”  I get real irritated or frustrated or intimidated, somebody saying, you know, “I looked it up and this is it, so you might as well just go home.”  There’s more than one way to do it.

Toni: Well, Nancie, let me ask you this, because I think you’ve touched on it a little it already – what inspires you?

Nancie: I like old, old ways.  I like history.  I like the past, and I like people doing ordinary things.  So I like the lady at the farmer’s market who retired from her job at the post office and makes pound cakes.  I like the Thai Temple outside of Fayetteville where women who married soldiers in Thailand and Vietnam came over and are still going to the Buddhist temple, and their kids are grown, and they come on Sundays and bring Laos-style food, or some of them bring American.  Some of them bring meatballs, you know?

So these people came from very far away at a very different time, and they’re here now doing this old school.  So all those stories … so it’s like, how did the monks get here, and what do they think when they go to Wal-Mart?  What do the ladies think?  Do they ever go home?  Do they grow these ingredients?  Do they care if they use prepared food?  You know, just all … I like sort of the ordinary and the everyday, and I just get interested in something, and I feel like I’m a detective and so I’m just going to go ask those questions.

I have trouble as a writer when I do interviews because I try to make a list of questions – that helps a lot – and I take so many notes and then I come home and I have, you know, 1500 words, and I have enough notes to do a book.  And I want somebody else to go through them and organize them, and thus far, we don’t have a staff.  I think, “Why did you do that?  Why didn’t you just stick to the questions?”  But it’s just interesting to me.

My first book was called Real Thai and I thought, oh yeah, I used to do Asian food.  I still do that.  Now I’m doing Southern food, and it’s so different.  But I realized after my Southern Cakes book came out that I am actually doing the same thing, which is looking at what are the old time things?  I’m not  interested terribly much in what chefs are doing or what the modern … or what the cool things are.

It’s like, I love to go eat at a restaurant and see what chefs are doing, but I’m interested in why ladies insisted that you needed to use Snowdrift versus Crisco in the biscuit recipe in 1947, and where the hell did red velvet cake come from?  Nobody … I can’t pin that down.  I just know it didn’t come from the Waldorf Astoria.  So, I like just following the trails around, and then I like to stop and eat.

Toni: Well, it sounds as though really you can hear that that history and those stories and storytelling is very important to you.

Nancie: Absolutely.

Toni: And when you think of inspiration from what gets you going in the day and maybe a day where you need to be inspired more than others, are there certain tools and resources that you tend to reach for on a consistent basis that help you to stay inspired?

Nancie: For me, I think the most inspiration I get is grocery shopping and going to markets, and I don’t mean just the gorgeous farmer’s market with the perfect in-season produce.  I mean just stopping at a little Mexican grocery store and walking down the aisles, and oh my God, here’s this form of sugar that’s shaped like a nuclear reactor and it’s hard as a rock, and how do people cut this up?  Just sort of seeing the physical, old timey things out there, that just … I just find that pleasantly distracting.

My family will not go to the grocery store with me, I mean like the big Harris Teeter.  I mean, I can’t spend under an hour in a regular grocery store, because I’ll pick something up and … I mean, in my grocery store there’s … okay, so in the rice aisle, so I’m standing there, and there’s a box of rice from a fair trade, you know, kind of wonderful company.

And so here’s this rice and that rice, and then there’s one and it says, Surin Red Rice and I said, “Surin?”  That’s the province that I lived in in Thailand as a Peace Corps volunteer, back when a lot of people didn’t know where Thailand was.  We knew where Vietnam was when I went to the Peace Corps, but Thailand and Thai restaurants were not, you know, a household word in 1975 in most of the United States.

So here’s a rice co-op in Surin, the province where I used to live, whose stuff is packaged and marketed at the upscale Harris Teeter grocery store right down the road from me.  What a connection.  So I’m standing there reading the box and I’m thinking “Should I contact them?  Should I go on a trip?”  So my family won’t go with me.  They’ll drop me off and come back in an hour.

So yes, being distracted is a bit … you know, it could be a handicap, but it’s a good thing that I’m a writer, and it’s good thing that my husband has a day job.

Toni: I love the term pleasantly distracted.  I may have to use that myself.  So Nancie, the final question of the Project is, what are you doing now to explore your own potential?

Nancie: I’m cleaning out the clutter of 30+ years of what I’m doing.  I’d say my big demon is … it used to be sort of holding onto stuff, like “Oh, I got this mug from such-and-such at such-and-such time.”  I got over that about 10 years ago.  But going through papers and deciding “keep this, throw this away” … I still have files that I put together way before the internet, and so there’s a lot of stuff around that is distracting and superfluous.  So I’m working on getting routines, which do not come easily and naturally to me.  My husband can’t live without them, and I’m just realizing that’s the key.

So I’m trying to keep going with all that I’m doing but set aside a block of time, you know, morning and afternoon, to just buzz through a box, and I find the paperwork that I brought home from the ICD conference four years ago with business cards of people I was absolutely going to contact and notes, and do I keep this because it’s interesting?  Do I sit down and read this article for 15 minutes?  And to just sort of say, you know what, just kind of quickly look and see if there are any photographs of my children at a young age, and otherwise just send that on, because there’s … Facebook and Twitter and this new time with … it’s like, what are you doing now?  What’s happening right now?

I realize how holding onto … not dealing with that stuff is kind of holding me back, so I’m kind of working on being in the present moment.  Not an original idea, but I keep coming back to that one.

Toni: But you know, you get to marry the inspiration that you draw from history, and that will always work with you, whether you’re in the present moment or not.

Nancie: Absolutely.

Toni: And so you get to marry both, and isn’t that pretty cool.

Nancie: That’s right – my present moment is looking back at history!

Toni: Absolutely.

Nancie: Look at that!  Hey ya’ll, look at this!

Toni: Oh my gosh – well, it has been an absolute joy listening to you today, and we cannot thank you enough for being part of the Get Inspired! Project, and good luck to you.

Nancie: Thank you so much.  I hope we meet sometime.  I’ll cook you some Thai food.

Toni: I would love that, thank you.  Take care, Nancie.

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For more information about Nancie McDermott:  www.nanciemcdermott.com

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Toni Reece: Thank you so much, Dr. Vass, for being part of this Project, and before we begin, can you please introduce yourself?

Dr. Larry Vass: Sure.  My name is Dr. Larry Ivan Vass.  I’m a dentist in Waldorf, Maryland, which is a suburb of Washington, D.C.

Toni: Dr. Vass, when you think of inspiration, who do you inspire, and how does that happen?

Dr. Vass: Who do I inspire?  I’ll tell you what, there’s a group and there’s a person, and I would like to first talk about the person.  The person is my adopted daughter, Ashley.  She came into my life when she was 12 years of age.  I married her mother when Ashley was 13 and then adopted her when she was 17.

Ashley followed the route of most early teens.  She experimented and pushed the envelope and later attended a party college, but watching her mother and me experience extreme adversities in our lives, seeing me not able to work for a couple of years, and witnessing me not transferring blame to someone else but taking responsibility for my own actions, my own failures, she was inspired to excel and move beyond mediocrity.

She observed me using the time out of work to further my education and draw lessons from the losses that I had and for my failures.  She saw me complete my Master’s of Divinity and pursue my passion for writing.  And since that time I have published two books:  A Reformed View of the Sovereignty of God In a Postmodern World, and the latest one came out two months ago, Hell Is Too Good for Some People.

Ashley left the party college and graduated from a Christian college and since has completed two Master’s degrees in Biblical Counseling.  She is an avid reader, she loves to write, and she takes responsibility for herself.  She never fails to tell me that she is so grateful for the influence I have had on her life and her desire for reading, her drive for success, and her insatiable love of God and all she attributes to me.  But of course her mother laid these foundations, for example, by example, before I even came into her life, but inspiration by example is the key here.

And the second is a group.  The group I inspire is a young married couples’ Sunday School class that I teach, and there I have intended to inspire them to be participants in the class, not just listeners.  My encouragement and using my wife as an example, who actively participates, they have become active in the class.  The class has turned into a discussion group rather than a group of young people listening to a demagog.  Everyone, including myself, learns from the sharing that everyone does.

And I think those are the people, and my daughter, that I inspire, and that’s how I do it.

Toni: Well, those are two very, very powerful examples, and I would ask you, based on the examples that you stated, how do you think then that you help … what specifically have you done to help others explore their own potential?

Dr. Vass: What have I done specifically?  Okay, I think the answer would have to be, show no fear.  If you treat someone like you don’t trust them or their abilities, they will tend to retreat from showing you what they can do.  Even though your insides may be churning, in order to get another person to delve deeply inside themselves, you have to allow them to come out of their shells and share their ideas of what they would do in a particular situation.

There might be times when what happens is contrary to what you would want to happen, but not showing and giving trust to that person will hinder them from developing the potential that will benefit them and possibly everyone around them.  So I think show no fear, and allow them to explore.

Toni: What inspires you, Dr. Vass?

Dr. Vass: I’m sorry?

Toni: What inspires you?

Dr. Vass: What inspires me?  I’ll tell you what inspires me is challenge.  If I’m not challenged, there’s no inspiration, and years ago I started listening to a man by the name of Dr. R.C. Sproul.  He’s on the radio.  He’s a well-known reformed theologian who teaches for a half hour every weekday on hundreds of radio stations.

When I first started listening to him, things he said … I couldn’t agree with him, but I found that mainly I couldn’t agree with him because I didn’t understand what he was saying.  But without ever knowing me, this man challenged me to read and study on what he had said.  And when I began to understand, I found myself in agreement with him, and without that challenge to confront what I didn’t know and understand, I wouldn’t have been inspired to research the text required for the understanding.

As a matter of fact, the inspiration I garnered from his lectures calls me to go beyond mere understanding.  Even though I was a practicing dentist, I went back to school, to seminary, in fact, and worked for and received my Master’s of Divinity.  Then the challenge inspired me to write Christian books so that others would be inspired.  So it all boils down to the fact that my inspiration comes from challenge.

Toni: When you are possibly having a day where you’re seeking inspiration and maybe you’re not as inspired as you’d like to be, are there certain resources … you’ve stated the gentleman, but are there other resources or tools that you tend to reach for on a consistent basis that help you kind of fill that up so that you can keep moving?

Dr. Vass: Other resources besides like a lecture or something?  Yes.  I find most of my inspiration from reading Psalms and Proverbs every day.  Those are basics.  Those are foundational.

And then for other research, I go to the internet.  There’s a wealth of information that if you have something that is in the back of your mind you would like to explore, maybe even design, maybe even write, or maybe even come up with a new product, you can research what’s been done and from what people do and what people say and the conflicts that they’ve had in their own lives, it will inspire you to overcome those conflicts.

So consequently, I think the world around you, the Bible is a great source.  As I said, I read Proverbs and Psalms every day; those are very inspirational.  And I don’t mean religious inspiration – they’re truths that help you to understand when you’re down in the dumps, help you understand when things are not going right, you can overcome those by exploring your potential.

Everyone has potential.  Everyone has God-given gifts that they can develop and use in their lives if they just would search for it, and the way to search for it is to read and to observe people who have been there.  And what I mean by that is like my father was a great example to me.  I admired him when he was alive, and the things that he said and taught me have always stuck with me.  So I think you can find a wealth of information and resources in observing and listening and asking questions from older people who have actually been there and done it.

Toni: So really it goes back to that inspiration by example for you.

Dr. Vass: Absolutely.

Toni: Whether you are receiving that inspiration from another one who is setting that example, or you’re giving it.

Dr. Vass: Absolutely.  Examples are always there before you, and you just have to grasp the opportunity.

Toni: So how do you explore your own potential?

Dr. Vass: How do I explore my own potential?  I think what I need in exploring my own potential is not putting myself in a box.  What I need to explore my own potential is not only to be allowed by others, but most importantly allow myself to think and act outside of the box.

I believe too many people surround themselves with parameters that stymie their creativity, and they place tops on their boxes that will not allow them to escape into new realms of possibilities or even to soar with the eagles.  The constraints of the safe, known world, I think keep people from reaching their potential.

As in my newest book, Hell Is Too Good for Some People, I relate how if I had looked at life through the eyes of a farm boy only, the same way as urban people expected me to see, I would not have reached my potential to escape the confines of that farm life and become a dentist, a seminary graduate, or an ordained pastor and author of two books.

If one finds others keeping them confined to the world of their closed box, then they need to pry off the top and look hard outside their box to discover what else is out there that they can influence and utilize their God-given talents they have.  That spells potential.

Toni: Dr. Vass, did you have other mentors, and … I don’t know, you spoke about adversity early on, but how you moved through all of that to have all the accomplishments that exist for you and the success that you’ve achieved – how did that happen along the way for you?  Was it just your own will and resilience that allowed you to keep moving forward?

Dr. Vass: I think basically my strong Christian upbringing by a man and woman, my father and mother, who not only relied on God in their lives and put a lot of trust in that, but they themselves lived out that type of life.  They set examples of hard work, of stick-to-itiveness and to go after what you want.

My father only had a third grade education, my mother, eleventh grade education, and yet throughout their lives they never put a lid on my brother, my sister or me to excel and accomplish things.  I grew up on a farm, a farm kid, and yet it wasn’t that I was pushed from the nest, but the nest was made so that I could climb out of it.

My father gave me visions.  The main thing he always said in my life, “If a man does not have a good reputation, he has nothing at all.”  And so with that in balance and for him to show the work ethic that he had and instilled in my brother and me, he made us aware that there is nothing that we could not accomplish, and so he gave us that potential that we had in ourselves, and he pulled it out by showing us examples.

Toni: Thank you for sharing that.  That’s an important point for people to really understand as they are listening to you speak here.  We cannot thank you enough, Dr. Vass, for being part of this Project, and we want to make sure that people can take a look at your books and learn a little bit more about you, so we will be sharing your links at the bottom of the transcript, and for the open and honest interview that you’ve given, we so appreciate that.

Dr. Vass: Toni, you’ve given me a chance to talk, and I’ll talk all day.  I’ve enjoyed it.  Thank you so much.

Toni: Thank you.  Take care, Dr. Vass.

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For more information about Dr. Larry Vass:  www.Larryvass.com

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Toni Reece: Thank you so much, Ellie, for agreeing to be part of the Project today, and before we begin, can you please introduce yourself?

Ellie Stoneley: Absolutely, and thank you for having me.  I’m Ellie Stoneley.  I live in England, and I live and work to connect people, to bring people together, and to try and help people have more confidence in themselves, and to work more positively and to achieve their dreams and their goals.

Toni: Well thank you, Ellie.  When you think of that word inspiration, who do you think you inspire, and how does it happen?

Ellie: That’s just the most scary question, and it’s also incredibly humbling.  I often worry that I’m just a complete lack of inspiration to anybody.  Earlier on today, I actually Twittered to that question and said, you know, “Has anybody got any brain waves about this, who do I inspire and how do I do it?”  Somebody came back and said, “You inspire me with your infectious enthusiasm for what you do,” which I just thought was fabulous.  And that promptly made me burst into tears, because he is somebody I really admire, and who inspires me.

It’s also really caused me to reflect on me and how I am and how I work.  I try and live my life to the full.  I saw a film years ago that had the expression “carpe diem” in the film, which means “live for the day.”  And to be honest, I think that’s really, really important.  I think it’s important to be honest in the way that you live.  I think it’s important to listen.  I think that’s so important, because so many people don’t listen.  They’ll dive headfirst down a route without listening to the world around them and the other people and the small voices around them.

I think it’s incredibly important to love, and to be open to love, and I think it’s really important to have fun in what you do and to live life joyfully, so I think that’s all really important.  All that in mind, I hope I inspire my husband on a daily basis.  I hope I inspire my friends and the people that I work with.  That all sounds very cliché, but I think you’re not going to leave any kind of mark on life or help other people through their lives if you live a closed and narrow life.  So I try and give them something, but I also try and learn from them.

I try and encourage people to be reflective.  I think it’s very important to think that inspiration isn’t just a huge thing — inspiration isn’t just Barack Obama and it isn’t just Gandhi.  Inspiration to me is also a lovely old lady called Edna who works in a church that I go to sometimes, and she works tirelessly day in and day out to make sure that the older people in the church or the more fragile people are visited and looked after.  And that humbles me no end, because she works very hard on her day job, she comes home, and she still gives of herself to other people, so that inspires me.

I think what underpins it all is a wonderful song by Bruce Springsteen, who is somebody who inspires me hugely.  His song – I won’t sing it, because I sing terribly – but has the line, “From small things, mama, big things one day come.”  I would urge anybody to rush to YouTube and find a clip of it immediately, because it will make you grin from ear to ear.

And on that … yeah,  just the little things are important.  My husband has been terribly ill recently, but he now is sort of coming back to full strength, but he’s volunteering once a week at a local night shelter, and I find that incredibly inspiring.

So it’s that sort of gesture that I think is important, and I will try and relay that to other people.  Rather than saying “stop the world” and, you know, inspire it all in one go, would just be “Reflect on your day-to-day actions.  Reflect on what you do.  Listen to other people.  Learn from them.  And just think about the small things you do, because they will generate the big things.”

Toni: Ellie, when you live your life that way and you work with the people that you work with, how do you think that helps people to explore their own potential?

Ellie: Oh, crumbs.  I think, again the listening is important.  I think without listening and without reflecting and hearing what’s going on in the world, it’s very easy to just live a very arrogant life, a very uninformed life and a very narrow life, so I think that’s hugely important.

Gosh, a while back I used to run a website, and one day I was very bored.  I was sitting in a conference, and I was listening to a speaker that was just rambling on and on and on, and I was trying in my head to think of an acronym or sort of a way of talking about what we did and a way of articulating the vision in our mission and the way that we worked.

He said the word “anarchy” and I was doodling, and I came up with the acronym RIOTS, and I think that would be how I would help other people, by using this little acronym.  RIOTS – which isn’t at all anarchy, but it stands for Relevance Interactivity Ownership Trust and Sustainability.  I think it’s a really useful little kind of word when people feel their lives going out of control, to help them think about rioting and riots.

So in terms of their goals, they need to think about the relevance of what they’re trying to achieve.  They need to think about the relevance of what they’re doing, whether it’s in the corporate world or whether it’s with their friends.  Is it for their friends, or is it for them?  That sort of reflection is important.

The I is interactivity.  Obviously, that’s fairly self-explanatory with a website, but where it comes to people, it’s really important to be interactive, to be open to input from other people and also to be able to give as well.  A lot of people are very good at listening but not very good at advising or very good at helping, so it’s important that that becomes a two-way stream.

The ownership … I think it’s crucial that whatever you’re trying to do and achieve in life that you own that dream, and that you also again in a corporate world, if it’s a corporate mission, you allow the members of the company or the members of your team … or in a family, you allow the family to own the dream.  It isn’t just a closed dream.  It’s something that everybody can feel a piece of.

I think trust … obviously, it’s self-explanatory.  It’s so important that people trust you and that you trust them; otherwise, nobody will buy into what you’re trying to do.

Sustainability is a funny word.  The sustainability for a business … obviously to be successful, you have to be sustainable, so an idea to succeed, it has to have legs, it has to have grounding, and it has to have aims, which again make it sustainable.

So yes, that’s my motto, RIOTS.

Toni: I love that.  I think that is very … I think it’s very relevant as an acronym in today’s world and actually with work that is being done.  You’ve spoken about this a bit with how you believe you might inspire others, but Ellie, what inspires you?  In addition to what you’ve spoken to, what inspires you?

Ellie: My … I’m sure a lot of people have said this, but I’m very, very fortunate to have been inspired by my parents.  I find this a very emotional thing to talk about.  My father died a year-and-a-half ago.  He died of cancer very suddenly, four days before my wedding.  He died, then we had the wedding, and then we had the funeral all in the space of a  week, and that was the hardest period of my life.

After that happened, I was helping The Times – the English newspaper The Times did an obituary on him.  He was an amazing man, an Antarctic explorer who was very humble, very gentle.  He was a geologist, and he was very impressive.  He did everything for other people, and I was researching for his obituary, and the more I read about him, the more I just thought – and again, I’m sure it’s a cliché, everybody has the same feeling when they lose a parent – but I wish I’d known more of this when he was alive.  He was an inspiration but is increasingly more and more of an inspiration.

My mother is 83 now.  From a day-to-day basis, I never know where she is.  She might ring up and say, “I’m in Switzerland today” or she may – she lives in Cambridge – and she may ring up and say, “I’m covered in mud.  I’ve just fallen over in a patch of nettles, but I’ve planted the most wonderful tree.”  She’s just incredible.  Every day for her is different.  Everything she does is different.  So that sort of inspiration is important.

I think the real importance of inspiration is to be open to the world and open to opportunity.  Funny story, which led to an interesting story … I was in the hospital last year.  I have a really revolting autoimmune disorder, which isn’t good when it flares up, but I’d just come out of the hospital, I was wearing my father’s old overcoat.  I looked like a tramp.  I was on crutches, and I was very wobbly, and I took my mother to the theatre to hear a radio speaker.

At the end of it, he mentioned the charity that he has, and she was queuing up to get his autograph.  I was standing at the side looking like a scruffy tramp, and mummy asked for his autograph, and she said “Is it on the website?  Have you got a website?”  He said, “Yes, yes” and gave her the website address.

And then she just looked at me very pointedly, knowing I work with the internet and said, “Is it on Twitter?”  And this chap spat red wine all over my mother – and he’s a very eminent British broadcaster – then sort of looked at where she was looking and saw this scruffy individual in the corner, and just … you could see him looking for his security thinking, “Help, she’s mad!”

And he just sort of sat back and said, “Actually, it’s not on Twitter, and it really ought to be.”  The sort of the long and the short that came out of that story is – his name is John Humphrys, he’s a very famous British broadcaster – his charity, The Kitchen Table Charities Trust, helps tiny little charities achieve incredible change in people’s lives in very, very poor countries, and I’ve ended up doing all the social media for him and for his charity.

Based on that, I was bullying him saying I needed more information one day, and he put me in touch with somebody else.  He sent me a photo of Madagascar of a project, a little school that had been helped.  I just said, “Gosh, if you need anybody to hand over a check or to cut a ribbon or anything, you know, I’m your man.”

The next thing I knew, a month later I was on a plane to Madagascar thinking “What on earth have I done?”  I was just sitting on this plane thinking “How on earth did I get to this point?”  I think it was just purely the fact of being open to opportunity.

And as a result of that, I went there, I social media-ed my whole trip.  I worked with a very small charity out there.  I helped them to fundraise.  We started dramatically changing the lives of hundreds and hundreds of school children and bringing water into villages where they never had them, and all of that was because A) my mother was cheeky, and B) I let myself be open to the opportunity.

So I think – sorry, very long verbal answer to your question – but you need opportunity and you need to be open to it to be inspired, and that’s what inspires me.

Toni: Ellie, it wasn’t a long rambling story, it was an absolutely wonderful story about really being open, but also synchronicity at play, and it really …

Ellie: Yeah, that’s very true.

Toni: Just amazing; it’s really amazing.  When you find yourself needing to be inspired, what do you reach for?

Ellie: I go the opposite way when I need to be inspired.  If I’m having down time, I go the opposite way.  Sometimes I think for me I need adversity to inspire me.  I’ve achieved the things that I’m most proud of in my life as a result of illness or as a result of grief, or as a result of trauma in my own life.

I firmly believe that when people are faced with disaster … there’s a poem about treating plants and disaster just the same, but I think if you can survive disaster, you will always rise up stronger.  And so I worry for me sometimes that I sort of do my best after adversity.  But I think also I need discipline imposing on me, and so if I do feel myself floundering and I have an uninspired day, I will give myself structure, I will set myself goals, and I’ll also … I have people in my life that I can turn to that I know will reflect other people’s work back to me or will hold a mirror up to my own behavior, or I can just sit and listen to them in wonder.

Again, I don’t necessarily mean the amazing public speakers or the huge celebrities.  I might mean … I have a very wonderful, gentle friend called Suzanna.  She’s very shy, she’s very humble, and she’s the most genuine person I’ve ever met.  If I’m having a day of feeling sorry for myself or feeling low or feeling that I’m less of a person than I should be, I’ll phone her, and just her pragmatic approach to life and her very gentle approach to life is a constant inspiration to me.

So I’m very fortunate that I have these people around me, and I’m also fortunate that I can recognize it myself when I need a kick up the butt and I think I must pull myself together.  And I know how to help myself in that, so I think that’s important.

Toni: How do you explore your own potential?

Ellie: With other people.  Often as part of a team, I will sit down and consider as part of a team what we could achieve and then what I could do as part of it.  And then as an individual, I often go for a walk or just spend time alone and consider where I’ve got to in my life — again what’s important, what isn’t important.

Having been through a very serious illness, it really causes you to realize that life is short and life is very, very precious and that you want to be able to give the most of yourself that you possibly can.  I read, I reflect, I listen to music, and yeah, I’ll just generally go for a walk and just try and look for little moments every day, whatever you’re doing, whether you’re on a tube train and you see somebody standing up for a pregnant person or whether you see a whole group of people not standing up for an old lady.

It’s very easy to see inspiration or where inspiration should be, and it’s also very important, I think, to kind of look around you and realize that there is so much good in the world.  Because the media has a very negative approach, and it’s very easy just to see the world as a bad place, but I think a very important thing is to see it in a positive and the good news stories, so that’s the way I always help myself.

Toni: Ellie, you have given us such a wonderful interview today, you really have.

Ellie: Thank you.

Toni: I feel as though I have just sat with a very good book, and you could listen to the stories, how you tell the stories, the gentleness, and the honesty that you’ve spoken about.

I wrote the words “living legacy.”  I can imagine the way that you live your life or try to live your life would be to live the legacy that you want to leave, and that’s … I don’t know, that’s what I’ve gotten from you, and just … it’s a very gentle yet very powerful interview you’ve given today, and I thank you for that.

Ellie: I really hope so.  If I was nearer, I would be giving you a huge hug — that is also one of my trademarks.  I think there’s a lot to be said for hugs.

Toni: I agree with you.  Consider it done, and thank you so very, very much, Ellie, for being part of the Get Inspired! Project.  Take care.

Ellie: I’m absolutely thrilled to be a part of it.  Thank you.

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For more information about Ellie Stoneley:  www.justgiving.com/elliestoneley, mymadagascarblog.wordpress.com

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Toni Reece: Thank you so much, Tony, for agreeing to be part of the Project, and before we begin, can you please introduce yourself?

Tony Lobl: Well, hi, Toni.  Thank you for having me on for this interview.  I’m a Christian Science practitioner and also a representative for the Christian Science movement to the media and legislatures in the United Kingdom and in the European Union, and I also contribute articles to inspirational magazines.

Toni: Well, Tony, we’re pleased to have you here.  When you think of that word inspiration, who do you inspire, and how does that happen?

Tony: Well, it’s been interesting thinking about that.  Can I just read a quote actually from Desmond Tutu …

Toni: Sure.

Tony: … which means a lot to me.  He said, “During the darkest days of Apartheid, I used to say to P. W.  Botha, the President of South Africa, that we have already won, and I invited him and other white South Africans to come over to the winning side.”  He continues, “All objective facts were against us.  The past laws, the imprisonments, the tear gassing, the massacres, the political activists, but my confidence was not in the present circumstances, but in the laws of God’s Universe.”

I just love that quote.  In a sense, what Desmond Tutu was doing on the national stage there is what I feel I’ve been given the opportunity to do person by person with people who ask me for help or who I encounter who I can help along the way.  And it’s that sense that in the midst of whatever problem you’re challenged by and you’re struggling with, there are these laws of God’s Universe that we can just focus on and bring to light and that can bring solutions forward.

So in a sense, that’s my appreciation of how I can inspire people.  The range of people in my experience is something I’ve just been enormously grateful for.  Just through my particular work, I’ve had the opportunity to travel on all the continents apart from the Arctic and Antarctica, and I’ve met truly wonderful people.

The other thing is, in meeting these people, you know, I’ve come up with this sense and my own experience that there is no such thing as being an inspiration without it being mutual.  I’ve really been inspired by all the people I’ve come into contact with, and to the degree I’ve been able to help them I’ve been really grateful.  But in every individual there’s something there that inspires me as well, and I’ve just been grateful for that kind of mutuality.

Toni: Now when you … the work that you do, can you give an example, Tony, of what it is that you do?

Tony: Yeah; it can really vary.  In terms of the actual practice of Christian Science, it varies as much as people’s problems vary and, you know, even in one life you can have so many different problems that you’re just trying to sort through.  Yes … just an example, before this call actually I got a call from someone whose child was just having a coughing fit at night and the parents were trying to calm the child and it wasn’t working.  And this wasn’t in any way a life-threatening thing – it’s just they obviously wanted to see their child comfortable and they wanted to feel comfortable, and they asked me to pray.

I did exactly what Desmond Tutu said, really, just gave them that sense of comfort that there’s this underlying law of God to support harmony, to support peace, to support everyone’s well being.  And as I prayed for them, I got a text message back saying all is well, the child stopped coughing, went to sleep, and they did, too.  It’s just that sense of restoring harmony to every situation through seeing things a bit more spiritually.  So it comes in a number of different packages at different times.

Toni: What a lovely story.  And the work that you do, Tony, how do you help others to explore their own potential?

Tony: Well, it really goes back to me to this idea that we all do have infinitely more to us than we ever realized, and sometimes it takes someone to be seeing you objectively through this sort of more spiritual lens that can help bring out your own recognition that you have potential that’s either there and just not being acknowledged or sort of feeling latent that can be brought out.

And so what I’m really trying to do when I encounter people – and this isn’t necessarily only for people who ask for help, but just in my day-to-day interactions with people – I’m just trying to seeing through to that spiritual individuality that I feel is the core of everyone.  And that as we recognize it for ourselves or help each other recognize it, we find that we have a purpose, we have a meaning, and we really matter, and that that’s a global truth for every individual, and that it sometimes takes us to help each other see it, but it’s already there.  We’re already the complete package, and we just sort of need to sort of come alive to that.

Toni: It’s really amazing to me how the unintended outcome of this Project has been the dialogue around passion and purpose.  And there’s a lot of people all over the world that don’t know how to bring that purpose alive and, as you’re stating, everyone has a purpose.  It’s bringing that … it’s awakening that purpose, but how does that happen?  And this is a very short time frame to even pose that question, but it’s so important.  It just keeps showing up as a question.

Tony: Well, maybe I can share an experience in my own development, because this is kind of crucial to me.  I actually took a course in a sort of nursing program that I was hoping to move forward in, but I wasn’t sure that I had made the right decision for me, that it was where my purpose was actually meant to be.  But you know, like everyone, I had responsibilities.  I was married, and I needed to get some work.  I needed to bring home a paycheck.

This job came up that seems to suit the qualifications I’ve got, and I applied for it, but I still felt uneasy.  And I went forward with the interview, I waited for the outcome, and one day I was walking down … I remember, I was in London, it was raining, and it was sunny at the same time and this rainbow came out, and it had a lovely spiritual feeling about it.

But the anxiety about this whole thing about what I was going to be doing came to a head with this lovely thought that just kind of wafted into my thinking, which was, “The certainty is in Him,” and that meant to me Him with a capital H, God.  That God knew what I as an individual was meant to be doing, and that I didn’t need to struggle to make that happen.  I just needed to sort of yield to the recognition that it was going to happen, and that I would recognize it when it did.

And right after that, I got a call from the job that I’d applied for saying they turned me down, and that was fine.  And very soon after that, literally in a number of weeks, I was asked to do a totally different job that used writing skills and other creative skills that I kind of almost put to one side to follow this other course.  And really, I’ve been doing that for the 15 years ever since and love doing it.

But the clincher to me with this whole experience was I learned who had gotten the job that I hadn’t got, and I’ve actually gone through training with her, and I knew she was perfect for that job; you know, much better than I could have been.  Same skills, but just different qualities which were so much more suited to it.  And so that really was like the, you know, the exclamation mark to the experience to me that God knows everyone’s place, and that we can come alive to that.

Toni: I think that is so important.  This coming alive to it is just this open-ended search.  It’s just the search that people are going through.  What inspires you, Tony?

Tony: Well, a whole range of things.  I would say … I have, you know, a day job that’s like everyone else 40 hours a week or whatever, but I always kind of feel I’m on holiday.  If I walk down the road, I just love seeing whether it’s sunlight or just people.  I love people particularly.  They inspire me more than anything else.

One thing I have to say … in order to gain inspiration – it’s a bit paradoxical – but I need two things.  One is total solitude and the other is company.  And I don’t think … when I look at … to me, Jesus is the central figure in my sort of spiritual life.  That’s where I look to for inspiration.  And in the Bible you read that Jesus went up to the mountains, and clearly this was solitude.  It was him alone with his thoughts and just meditating on spiritual things.

But then you read he came down from the mountains and that’s when he’d heal people; you know, you read of crowds and multitudes.  To me, that reflects the right balance, that I do need time alone to refresh spiritually, but I also need time with people both to express what I feel I’ve gained through that time of quiet contemplation, but also as I said earlier, to feel the inspiration of a lot of other people and the individuality and each one that really means so much to me.

Whether it be a world leader in the news like Desmond Tutu – he’s a constant inspiration to me – or just an individual down the street.  I think some of the greatest moments in your life are when you are walking down the street and you exchange a look with someone and you break into mutual smile and you never find out who that person is.  You never stop to ask their name, but you’ve both felt that connection, both I think with yourself and either with something higher that I would call divine love.

Toni: How are you exploring your own potential, Tony?

Tony: It’s a good question.  I like the reminder that we should never stop doing that.  I think it’s really important.  I would have to say … I’ve mentioned the Bible of course, but as a Christian Scientist, I’m also very grateful for a book called Science and Health that keeps the scriptures, written by Mary Baker Eddy.  That’s a book that to me helps me focus my thoughts on the spiritual dimension of life and helps remind me that my everyday thought is meant to be about how to grow in grace, in forgiveness, in love, in living not just for oneself but for the greater good of all.

Also, it provides me real ideas about the nature of God and about the nature of each of us as God’s creations that give me these insights that I feel equip me to help other people when they ask me to do so.  So I think that’s kind of like the fuel.

And then the journey is just really being open to a greater willingness to be there to serve others when the opportunity arises.  And for me that varies from these one-on-one contacts to opportunities to contribute these inspiration articles that might reach, you know, tens of thousands of people or occasionally I address meetings, which even reach more people.

So it depends, but to me they’re all equally valued and all equally precious, but I want each one to be the right thing at the right time.  And if I feel that, then I feel that I have the way to grow individually so I can do a better job of helping others, too.

Toni: I love the way that you put that, that it has to be the right thing at the right time, and only you will know if that is where you’re at.  And I think that that is so important for people to really hear that statement.

Tony: It’s crucial.  I mean, getting into judging other people and their choices and decisions is … it’s walking on very thin ice.  And I’m always grateful … not that I’m totally without judgment, I mean, it does challenge me, but I’m grateful to see in the examples that are precious to me that that ability to get over that and love people where they’re at and trust their ability to hear what’s right for them.

Toni: Tony, you have been absolutely wonderful in this interview, and you have … your thoughts are very, very inspiring, and I know that a lot of people are probably going to be listening to your audio a couple of times, because there were some…

Tony: Oh, absolutely.

Toni: … very salient points here.  Thank you so very much  for taking time out of your schedule to work with us on this Project.  We cannot thank you enough, and we will have your website at the bottom of the transcript so that people can learn more about what you do and benefit from it as well.  So thank you very much for being here.

Tony: Well, it’s … as I said, I believe in mutual blessings, and this has definitely been one of them.  I’m very, very grateful to you.

Toni: Thank you.  Take care.

Tony: All right.  Goodbye, God bless.

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For more information about Tony Lobl:  www.christianscience.com

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Toni Reece: Thank you so much, Sharon, for agreeing to be part of the Project today, and before we begin, can you please introduce yourself?

Sharon Mast: I’m Sharon Mast, the Director of Volunteer Engagement and Youth Development at the United Way of Berks County.

Toni: Well thank you for taking time out of your schedule to be part of us.

Sharon: Thanks!  This is awesome.

Toni: So Sharon, when you think of that word inspiration, who do you inspire, and how does it happen?

Sharon: You know, when I first heard that question, it was really difficult for me to think about that because as I was growing up, I was always a very happy, outgoing child and a good student, and I got along with everyone.  And really, you know, my parents taught me to treat everyone fairly, but you know, I was blessed with so many good opportunities.  However, my father was very strict, and you know, if I got kudos for doing something from a teacher or an award or whatever, he would sit down and lecture me on the virtues of being humble.  And he did that because, as he said, he didn’t want me to get a big head.

So for years, you know, I never thought about inspiring anyone.   I just was me and just being who I was and took those positive risks and opportunities.  And I don’t think it was until I got married that friends would say to me, “You know, you’re such an inspiration.” I’m kind of like, “Why?” and they’d say, “Because you have such passion and you have such a sense of hope for the future and you give people hope.”

And I thought, wow, I just kind of never really thought about it that way.  It was just being who I thought, you know, I really needed to be.  As I was, you know, kind of going through that process, then, you know, one day I sat down with my son and he said something to me about what an inspiration I am to him, and again I just kind of looked at him funny and asked why.  He said, “You know, nothing was ever easy in your life, and yet you always had this happy face.  You always made things work.  You always made it look easy, and you never said ‘no’ in terms of helping people.”

I didn’t have the luxury of going to college as a typical college student at 18 and going off in living in a dorm and so forth.  My parents didn’t have, you know, the affordability to do that, and so, you know, even though I was accepted at five schools, I worked full-time and went part-time.  I started with an Associate’s degree and a Bachelor’s and finally a Master’s.  Along the way as I had staff in different positions that I was in, they would say the same thing.  It’s like, “You help us see that even people who are, you know, have adverse situations in their life, they can overcome them.  They can come out on top if you don’t look at things as a victim.”

I never played that role well, the victim role.  I never felt that was my color, you know?  I would always see … you know, people would say to me, “You see possibilities in everyday relationships and experiences,” and I guess that’s something that I pass on to others just in my own behavior and in my own attitude and hope that, you know, those are things that they then carry on and pass on to other people.  You know, kind of like a pay it forward type of thing.  So I think a lot of people have done that for me.

Toni: By being this way, Sharon, and living your life this way and getting that kind of feedback … first of all, to get that kind of feedback is very cool …

Sharon: It is.  It is.  It’s very humbling.

Toni: Yeah, absolutely.  And so I’m wondering how do you think by being that example allows other people to explore their potential?

Sharon: Well, as anyone who knows me knows I’m a great talker.  I’m a relationship person, a people person.  I love to engage with others, but I also love to listen and that’s feedback that I’ve gotten as well over the years.  What I’ve realized, how critical a skill that is, and how important it is for all of us — whether it’s personal or professional relationships — is to really listen and not from our own perspective, but what … you know, having that sense of empathy.  Where is somebody else coming from?

And so, I’ve really tried to hone in over the years of reading people’s body language, listening to their tone, their hesitations, their choice of words, and facilitate discussions.  So I think, you know, that I explore their potential … help them explore their potential, because I … I ask a lot of questions.  I’m curious by nature, and with my counseling background, you know, really able to ask sort of pondering questions.  Not so much to have them answer for me, but to have them go deeper inside themselves and explore possibilities, explore opportunities, explore where, you know, there’s sticky points that they have where they may not understand something.

And that day that we’re talking, they may not understand, but you’ve created a space, an openness for them to … and in a sense planted a seed for them to begin to mull over what you’re talking about.  And I can’t tell you how many times people have said to me, you know, I’ll see them on the street and it’s like, “You know, I still remember something you said to me two years ago.”  I’m like, “What?”

Because you … you know, when you can do that, it gives them … in a sense, it opens a space to give them permission to look beyond today or look beyond the tunnel vision that they currently have.  And I think that’s something that, you know, you open up, you allow them, you know, engage with them and you reach new heights because you allow them to believe in themselves and their abilities.

Toni: Absolutely.  And what I also hear you say is that as curious as you are by the way that you engage with these people, I would imagine it opens them up to being curious about themselves again.

Sharon: Yes, yes.  And you know, they start asking questions.  I want to say maybe for the last 20 years that I’ve had staff under me and, you know, my door was always open and often they would come in … with my kids as well.  You know, no one wants to be told what to do, you know?  They want to be able to have someone that they can relate to and sort of just pass things by, and as I said, ask questions that allow them to just go a little bit deeper.

To me, that engagement creates synergy, and that synergy is what allows them to begin to explore themselves further.  And that leads to change, to improvement, to potentially transformation.  Or to say “You know what?  I like who I am and this is where I’m going to stay, but wow, I understand why I do what I do now.  I understand what my triggers are.  I understand that my personality has me … you know, gives me … is responsible for some of my perceptions.  Okay, now how do I deal with those things, and how do I relate to others, knowing myself better?”

Toni: What inspires you, Sharon?

Sharon: You know, there are so many things that inspire me.  I’m such a simple person.  I grew up in the middle of an urban area, very poor.  But quite honestly, I had no clue I was poor because there was a richness in our family of a lot of love and a lot of support.

Right now, I live up on a mountain, in the middle of a mountain in an old farmhouse, and I think one of the basic things that inspires me is truly nature.  I love to go out and hike, and that gives … and I love to walk on the beach, and those two things give me the space to be quiet.  I find that when I’m, you know, really overwhelmed with a life situation, whether it’s personal or professional, I will often find myself, you know, putting on my hiking boots and going into the woods because it allows me to just quiet myself, my inner voice and my mind.  And that quietness and listening to the birds and just, you know, looking around and realizing that you are one small part of a huge universe, suddenly, you know, things just start to unfold and become clear.

You know, when they say be quiet and that’s when you hear and that’s when you see things, I really, really believe that.  Music does that to me.  You know, I can listen to a piece of music and be absolutely inspired to begin to create and design and think about, you know, building and making things better.

I’m also inspired by watching people, many, I think, of whom have very little in their life but they have heart.  I had one woman … I was teaching a parenting program, and this was for low income families that were prior to school age.  And a local school district had told us that approximately 70% of children entering the school district lacked one or more of the skills they needed to be successful in school, which was mind boggling.  If they were one year behind, they could catch them up.  If they were two or three years behind developmentally, they really, really couldn’t.  And that was a slippery slope then, not being able to bond with your school, never feeling connected or engaging and becoming truant and dropping out.

At the United Way, we began a Right From The Start initiative that really focused on parents of young children.  And I remember, you know, we were teaching the parenting skills to parents, but we tried to do it in a way that really was strength-based and solution-focused.  So we didn’t come across as a teacher telling them what to do.  We went back to that questioning, you know, and that pondering and wondering, and “What do you know about this?” or “What do you think about that?”

I remember one mother coming up to me after class one day and she said, “I am learning so much.”  She said, “I don’t have … I didn’t have the luxury of, you know, going to school and learning all of these things, and I didn’t have a good childhood to have parents that taught me these things.”  She said, “But one gift I can give my children is I do have a lot of love, and I know now that what I’m giving them, even though I couldn’t give them these other skills that I’m just learning now, you taught me that that love is absolutely critical.”

She walked away with such a sense of pride, and I was so inspired by that because I felt that, you know, in everyday occurrences there are those little nuances, that, you know, you … you can open that space for people, you know, to have that power to take that on.  Authentic people inspire me.  People that truly help others see and feel.

I had the opportunity this summer to do two things – one was to create a new camp for teenagers around volunteerism, but I really felt that the camp couldn’t be just about volunteering in the community.  I needed to give them a visual of what were the community conditions that created the need for them to volunteer, whether it was around education or whether it was around homelessness or, you know, other people in need.

So we had … the walls were adorned with all types of statistics that was their community.  And for many of them, they had no clue, because they lived in this little isolated community within the community that they never experienced, you know, homelessness or being low income or whatever the situation might be.

And then we had them out in the community and we would do volunteer work and bring them back and give them time to truly reflect on what they saw, what they felt, what they were thinking.  At the end of the week, I mean, it was amazing the feedback from the kids that this was such an opportunity that opened up so much for them in terms of how, you know, their own behaviors and their attitudes and what they thought about things, and breaking down judgments and breaking down perceptions, and I was in awe of that.  I truly was.  But it was … again, it’s that I was inspired by the fact that creating that space for them to be mindful of situations and people that were different from themselves.

Most recently, I had the opportunity to work with a local hospital that was collecting school supplies for low income students in our city, and you know, again they were thinking well this was a nice thing to do.  But I went into every department prior and I gave them a picture of what the community looked like, you know, that 70% of children going into this district lacked the skills.  That, you know, on any given day, 1,400 people were utilizing emergency food services, and I threw out different numbers for them to visualize why what they were doing was so critical and the impact that it was going to make in the community.

I have to tell you, last year we stuffed one bus, and that was a community-wide effort.  This one organization in one day’s time stuffed a bus, a full size school bus, a bus and a half, just one organization, because they felt it and they were able to really see the impact and how it was going to help others.  It was pretty phenomenal, and I walked away saying, “Wow, the power we have to change our communities is huge.”

Toni: It absolutely …

Sharon: We just have to take … you know, we have to put ourselves out there to do it.

Toni: Absolutely, and you can tell that you’re very passionate about that, and your stories are incredible, they truly are.  I know that … it’s almost like I’m wondering if you’ve got this collection of stories that you’ve written down somewhere because …

Sharon: I do, and you know, I was thinking about … somebody said to me a couple months ago, “You know, it’s time for you to write a book.”  And I said, “What?  No, I’m not …” because again it’s that humility that comes back.  I’m like, “No, no, no, no, I don’t have …” and they’re like, “No, what you’ve done, the stories that have been told to you because of being mindful of other people and creating those spaces.”

And you know, it really got me thinking that yeah, there is the possibility of doing that because we all need champions, and there are so many champions out there, but they don’t know where to begin, or they’re told, “No, we can’t do that.”  We need people to be able to say, “Yes you can, yes you can.”

Toni: Absolutely.  Sharon, the final question of the Project, and unfortunately, you know, we are on this time constraint and just listening and you just get … you can listen forever, can’t you?  I mean, I can.  But what are you doing now to continue to explore your own potential so that you can be that advocate for people who want to change and grow?  What are you doing now?

Sharon: Well, you know, this last year I really struggled because my job has changed several times over the last few years, and I came into a space where, you know, I was no longer doing what I was truly passionate about.  I was doing good work, but it wasn’t me.  And I kind of went back and asked a lot of people, because I lost a little bit of confidence and a little bit of feeling that, you know, like what’s my value here?

I asked people what they saw as my value, what I brought to the table, both professionally and personally.  And not from an ego standpoint but truly from the point of, you know, reinventing yourself, and I think it’s important to keep, you know, reflecting on what you’re doing.  Are you still doing what you’re passionate about?  Can you reinvent yourself?  What else might you do?

And so, you know, the process of going through that for myself really made me step back and realize that, you know, I can do this work, and I don’t need necessarily an agency or a container to hold me back.  And so over the last year as I explored my own potential, someone had said to me, “You’re a spirit whisperer.”  I thought that’s an interesting word, and basically they defined it as someone who quietly opens the space for others to explore their potential, and I thought, “Yeah, that’s what I do,” whether it’s as a program or an agency.

So I’ve been exploring going out on my own, contracting with other organizations that I truly am inspired by the work they do, and trying to look at how can I be an advocate for them or another voice to get their work out into new avenues.  So as I go forward the next few months, that’s what I plan on doing is to just get out there on my own and, you know, let that spirit soar and see where it takes me, because I truly believe that God puts you where you’re meant to be, and I’m not done yet.

Toni: Fantastic, and you know there’s a lot of people that will be listening to this interview and they’re going to be wondering in four months’, five months’ time, “Where did she go, what is she doing?  I want to know.”

Sharon, thank you so much for taking time out of your busy schedule to be part of this Get Inspired! Project, and all of the wisdom that you’ve shared in this interview has been fantastic, and we can’t thank you enough for being part of it today.

Sharon: Well thank you.  I just … I’m inspired by the possibilities that will come out of this Project, and just giving people, you know, the opportunity to believe that they can, you know, and to inspire hope, you know, in others, so good for you.  Kudos to you.

Toni: Well thank you, Sharon, and take care of yourself, and we’ll talk soon.

Sharon: Okay, thank you.

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For more information about Sharon Mast:  www.uwberks.org/wwwpub

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Toni Reece: Thank you so much, Meredith, for agreeing to be part of this Project, and before we begin, can you please introduce yourself?

Meredith Deeds: Well, I just want to say thank you, Toni, for giving me this opportunity.  What a wonderful Project this is.

Toni: Thank you.

Meredith: My name is Meredith Deeds.  I’m a cookbook author, and I’m a freelance food writer, and I’m a culinary instructor, and I’m an editor, and I’m a mother and a wife, and a friend.

Toni: Well, Meredith, when you think about that word inspiration, who do you think you inspire, and how does that happen?

Meredith: Well, I hope I inspire my students and my readers through my cookbooks and my articles, and everywhere I can reach out to people about cooking.  I really, really think about what will make them feel good about themselves, and the way I like to approach teaching people how to cook or giving people information about food is to build up their confidence.

So often people feel like they can’t cook, and that’s not true for anybody.  Everybody on the face of the earth can cook, and it’s just giving them the information that they need to feel better about it.  And for me, it’s not just about getting them to create better food for themselves … that’s a big part of it, but I really feel strongly about the inspiration that food itself will bring to other people.  It certainly brings it to me, but it inspires people to come together in the kitchen.  It inspires them to come together around the table, and the more they enjoy that process, they more they are going to participate in it.  If they feel good about what they’re doing and their ability to do it, I think that they’ll be more inspired to be a part of that kind of community.

Toni: What happens with … when you are teaching or writing and you said what you hope happens is that you’re inspiring people to think about food differently and to have that confidence.

Meredith: Right.

Toni: What happens to someone’s potential in that particular area?  If they gain the confidence in cooking, what might happen as far as exploring their potential?

Meredith: Well, I think that whenever you gain confidence in anything, it’s like a link in a chain.  It makes you feel better about yourself and your ability to do things, and it brings you to the next adventure, and you look at the next adventure differently.  “I could never bake a cake, but then I read this recipe, I saw this teacher, I got through this article, and I created this extraordinary cake, and we all enjoyed it together, and what a fantastic experience.”  “You know what?  I’ve never climbed a mountain, but you know, maybe I’ll think about it.  I might not do it right away, but maybe I’ll think about it, because look what I did that I never thought I could do.”

And so it’s just really … I mean, that’s an extreme example, obviously, but I think once you start to gain confidence in yourself, that really the sky is the limit and you start looking at the world in a very different way.

Toni: You said you are a cookbook author?

Meredith: I am.  One of the things I do.

Toni: How many books have you written?

Meredith: I’ve written six books.

Toni: Wow.

Meredith: It’s a lot of books.

Toni: And aren’t they called like a “big book” of something?

Meredith: Yeah, they’re all big books.

Toni: It’s a lot of the big books.

Meredith: It’s a lot of the big books, yeah.  I’ve got several big books, and you know, the fun thing about the future is that now that we’re all entering the digital age, there really is a brand new world open to us.  And maybe we won’t do the big books so much anymore, but we’re really learning to touch people in a million different ways.  We can be there in the kitchen with them, they can see us cooking on their iPad, they can read our recipes, and that’s another way that we can give people a little bit more confidence in what they’re doing in the kitchen.

Toni: Exactly.  It’s a virtual mentor, isn’t it?

Meredith: It is; it really is.  It’s having someone really almost feel like they’re right there by your side.

Toni: So what inspires you, Meredith?

Meredith: What inspires me?  There’s a lot of things that inspire me, obviously, but one of the things that inspires me the most is opportunity.  And if I have a great opportunity in front of me and it seems like a positive experience, I am often inspired way beyond what I ever thought I would be, and I think the inspiration makes me more creative and makes me more confident and allows me to really reach, push the envelope for myself.  And I think that that’s an important thing to do for all of us.

Toni: When you are seeking inspiration, do you tend to reach for certain tools or resources?  Are there consistent things you go to?

Meredith: Yes, yes.  One of the consistent things I go to is my husband and my children.  I find constant inspiration.  When I feel down, there is nobody that can cheer me up quicker than my husband.  When I feel as though I can’t do something and I’m way over my head, my family gives me the confidence to carry on, and I would say it’s absolutely as consistent as anything can possibly be.

Toni: Would you say that you’re passionate about the work that you do now?

Meredith: Absolutely, absolutely.

Toni: So people that are listening to this interview or reading your transcript, there’s been an unintended outcome of the Get Inspired! Project, which people are talking about what they’re passionate about and working towards or on their purpose.  How did you get there?

Meredith: How did I get passionate about what I’m doing, or …

Toni: How did you get lucky enough – and I don’t know that you have – but how did you get to the place where you could work on something you were passionate about?

Meredith: Well, luck has its role, and it always does.  I grew up in the restaurant business.  I grew up in a family that was very adventurous in a culinary way, and I knew from an early age where my passion lies.  That is just luck.  You know, there’s a lot of people that don’t find out until they’re 40 … I think there’s even a famous, you know, speech about that, like the people I like the best are the ones that they don’t know what they want to do until they’re 40 – they don’t know what they want to be when they grow up until they’re already, you know, old.  And there’s, I’m sure, something to that.  But for me, knowing early how much I loved food and how much I loved to cook was a big, big, big plus.

Then there was a period of time where things weren’t great in the country in an economic way, and I veered off the course a little bit and I got an accounting degree.  And I spent a few years being an accountant, getting my husband through his Ph.D. program, and that really solidified my belief that food is what I’m passionate about.

And it really is … life is bittersweet, and I think that that is the best part about life.  And if you’ve never experienced the bitter, how are you really ever going to appreciate the sweet?  I think that that has been key for me often, and one of those things is realizing how much I dislike doing something I wasn’t passionate about has really made me appreciate and work harder at the things I am passionate about.

And the other thing, too, is I’ve been in a fantastic partnership.  I’ve been in a few fantastic partnerships, but my husband has certainly been encouraging, and there have been some lean years, you know, where that might not have been an easy thing for him to do, and he always was.  You know, I’ve had a writing partner, Carla Snyder, I’ve worked with, and that was … you know, partnerships are a good thing.  But the passion, being passionate about what you do – life is too short not to be.

Toni: Absolutely.  What a great way to put that as well, and I like the bittersweet analogy with no pun intended on the cooking.

Meredith: Right.  I haven’t even gotten into the puns yet, Toni.  We’ll work our way into those.  We haven’t even talked about biting off more than you can chew, right?

Toni: Oh my goodness … okay … so, what do you do now to explore your own potential?

Meredith: You’re going to laugh … I do bite off more than I can chew.

Toni: There should be a bell ringing somewhere.

Meredith: I know.  There’s a rim shot in there, you know.  I do do that.  I tend to not say no to opportunities that are in front of me even if it’s not something that’s in my comfort zone.  I’m not afraid to step out of my comfort zone.  My initial response at saying yes to things is often because I tend to be a little bit of a pleaser.  “Sure, I can do it for you.  I can solve your problem for you.”

And it starts off in a good … you know, I do it from a good place in my heart, but what often it leads to is down a path I never expected to go.  I find things out about myself, and “Wow, I’m much better at that than I anticipated I would be,” or “that’s not something that interests me as much as I thought it would.”  But either way, I think that if you do get out of your comfort zone and take advantage of the opportunities that lie in front of you, you’re going to find your way, and it’s going to benefit you in the end.

Toni: How do you keep up on the learning and the teaching that you do and coming up with new books?  How does that happen?

Meredith: Well, a lot of it is reading.  You know, I’m in this fantastic industry where there’s so many other creative and inspirational people writing about food and talking about food and making food and tasting food, and kind of keeping up and being a part of that community, so I find myself in the loop.  I find that really important, and anymore with social media, this is a pretty easy thing to do.  I’m not a social media expert, but I do find that the one thing I really appreciate the most is how much it does help me with my continuing education.

Toni: So you really have to be aware of what’s out there and then also read it, digest it … there’s another one … I didn’t mean that …

Meredith: See – once it starts, it’s hard to stop.  You just can’t have one.  There’s … yeah, exactly.  And you figure out, you know, the sources that you like the most.  Not everything on the internet is quotable or reliable, but you do find your way, and that’s how I kind of keep myself, you know, informed.  Also, there’s just simply a … the learning curve keeps you educated and going.  You say yes to something, and you kind of have to figure it out along the way if you’re not familiar with it, and that’s a part of it, too.  By the time you get to the other side, you know a lot more than you did to begin with.

Toni: Absolutely.  And I can only imagine just in this brief interview with you how inspirational you must be in front of your students.  And if you write this way … because the interview … there’s words that I associate with most of the interviews and for you, it was delightful, because you really and truly were, and if you are this passionate and it comes through and this … you sound so full of joy, really, and if that is put in front of your students, what a gift you’re giving them.

Meredith: Well, I hope so.  It’s certainly a gift I’d like to give them.  And it’s not really a gift I’m giving them, it’s a gift we’re sharing with one another, and that’s … again, that brings me right back to food and the table and the things I find most inspirational.

Toni: Well, Meredith, thank you so much for being part of this Project, and I wish you the best success.

Meredith: Well thank you, Toni.  This was delightful for me as well.

Toni: Great.  Take care.

Meredith: Thank you.

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For more information about Meredith Deeds:  www.meredithandcarla.com

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Toni Reece: Thank you so much, Lesa, for agreeing to be part of this Project, and before we begin, can you please introduce yourself?

Lesa Day: Yes, Toni, thank you again for having me.  My name is Lesa Day, and I am originally from the Northeast here in the United States and living now in Atlanta, and I’m an author and a speaker and a parent/family coach.  The title of my book is How To Get Your Child To Say Yes I Can and I Will, and you can contact me and www.yesicanandiwill.com.

Toni: Fantastic.  Thank you, Lesa, and thank you for being here.  Lesa, when you think of the word inspiration, who do you inspire, and how does that happen?

Lesa: Well, truthfully, Toni, I hope that I’m one of those people that every day the people that I encounter that I inspire them, just because I really believe in having a positive, upbeat attitude wherever I go.

I think again when we think about people who influence us throughout our lives, I’ve been extremely blessed to have people in my life like John Maxwell and Stephen Covey and all of those great authors that I was able to get exposed to, you know, like 20 years ago and having great leadership like that, so that’s sort of like in me.

My niche area is working with parents and families, because I really have a heart for our youth and really training up our kids to be as independent as possible, and yet really increasing self-esteem while they’re going through that process of growth, no matter what age they’re at, and honing in on what are they really passionate about and understanding their strengths in order to just make themselves better and the world better around them.

Toni: And you do this through coaching?

Lesa: I do.  I do it through coaching — personal coaching as well as offering workshops and also working online.

Toni: When you’re doing this type of work, how do you think that you will help someone to explore their own potential?

Lesa: I try … well, first of all, I try to relay to people whenever I’m communicating with them that all things are possible – it’s just a question of how bad you want it.  I guess I’ve always believed that, because I’m always an adventurous person.  I mean, like 12 years ago, I felt like I needed to go on an exploration journey, and I just hopped in my car and I just traveled for seven months.  That’s priceless, the things that you can learn when you do things like that.  So when you’re doing that in your own life and you’re willing to, you know, step out of your comfort zone, then it’s easy to teach that same type of thing when you’re coaching people.

So when I’m working with them and I’m thinking about their strengths … I even teach like on the personality types, and I’ll bring that into, you know, “Let’s talk about, do you know, you know, sort of why you do the things that you do and how you do them?”  It helps them to be more accepting of their strengths and to really hone in on that and not to feel bad about their weaknesses, because we all have weaknesses.  And then they’re also able to appreciate other people and how they can best work with them.

Toni: So really the inspiration then becomes almost a pay it forward situation, doesn’t it?

Lesa: Yes, and that’s wonderful.

Toni: Yeah.  So, what inspires you?

Lesa: When I see and hear other people’s stories, particularly those that have always stood on a high level of integrity.  I try to surround myself with positive people all the time, because I also understand that as a coach when you are working with people, there’s energy that’s flowing out of you all the time, and if I’m not feeding myself somehow, I’m going to empty out.  I’m going to … I’m going to just dry up, if that makes sense.  Does that make sense, Toni?

Toni: It does, absolutely.

Lesa: So I recall it was a guy by the name of Charlie “Tremendous” Jones, and Charlie’s got to be like in his 80s today, that was a motivational speaker like 30 years ago.  He wrote this great book called Life Is Tremendous, and it stuck with me ever since.

I tell people this all the time, that there are two things that will determine where I’m going to be five years from now, Toni, and that is the people I meet and the books I read.  When I understand how powerful that influence is and that I actually have some control over that, I discipline myself to put myself in front of people that I feel can influence me in ways that is bigger than mine — whether it’s a success level, what they’ve done in their life — because they have the opportunity to share things with me that can help me move forward, and I’m always grateful when I can do that.

Toni: Lesa, have you always shown up to the table that way, that you knew that you wanted to be a positive role model, work with children and parents, but also stay in that positive place?  Have you always been that way, or has this been something that you worked on based on a decision to not be another way?

Lesa: Two things.  One, the idea of inspiring people and sort of being there to nurture, I think, has always been that way, and I didn’t even realize that until many, many years later.  Like if you were to look back into my youth, back in like junior high and high school, I was one of those that the kids always came to for advice.  So that role was sort of there naturally without me even knowing it.

But until I got into my 20s and was in business with men and women that were like old enough to be my parents did I really get that wisdom of how powerful influence is on your life, you know, because whether we like it or not, we think about it.

I mean, you are doing such an awesome project here, Toni, because you are honing in on something that’s positive, motivating, and helping people to be uplifted and to move forward.  But if we just walk out into the world and we just watch what’s going around us, there’s a lot of negativity out there, and we have to search for the positive.

Toni: Thank you for that; and so you are making a conscious choice to search for that positive.

Lesa: Absolutely.

Toni: Do you find … go ahead, go ahead, I’m sorry.

Lesa: And if it’s not … if it’s not like sort of like right there in front of me, I think because my brain has been trained sort of like that all the time now, I’m the one who will speak, you know, the positive into a situation.  What do you mean … like all my kids, if I’m working with kids, know that “I can’t” is not in the vocabulary.  “What do you mean you can’t?  You can do anything that you possibly want to do, if you want it bad enough.  I understand that it’s difficult.  I understand, you know, if you feel like you’re going to do 10 more steps than what you wanted to, but ‘I can’t’ is not an option.”

Toni: I think that’s great.  Do you find yourself … if you need to be inspired, do you find yourself reaching for the same tools and resources?

Lesa: Absolutely.  I’m an avid reader, whether it’s something on leadership or inspiration, I think there’s a balance there.  I think that I need to have a balance of sort of like “how to” in creating self-discipline, and then I also need to be able to have the stories, because that’s part of how we’re wired, you know?

Toni: Absolutely.  So what are you doing now to explore your own potential?

Lesa: Oh, I am doing a lot more marketing when it comes to the teachings and expanding upon that as far as an audience.  I have to tell you that I go back and forth, Toni, with … my niche is the area for parents and families, and that was one of those that just sort of happened.  Me working with agencies all over the country and working with the families didn’t, but the book and that … that just happened.  That wasn’t something that … if you had asked me 10 years ago or 15 years ago was I going to do that?  No, it wasn’t.  I did that because I felt again that was my responsibility with the gift that I’ve been given.

As I traveled throughout the U.S. — and I had already done motivational speaking in my past — I had families coming up to me in communities asking me, “What are you doing with these kids?  Why are we seeing such a significant difference in their behaviors and their attitudes and their self-esteem in a matter of like three weeks, a month, or six weeks?”

My thought process was, Toni, this is just normal to me.  This is just something that I do every day.  And I began to understand that people, they sort of understand what it is that I’m doing, but they don’t know how to do it.  And I’ve sort of had to like have people knock on my door for about five years, Toni, before I was like, okay, I gave in.  It was almost like, “All right, I’m going to write the book – I promise.  I’ll do it.  I’ll do it.”

And you know, there’s transitions that happen in your life and you say “Okay, well I guess now is the time.”  And what happened was, I was in New York.  I was working an hour out of Manhattan, and I was just sort of in a place where I’m like “Okay, I’ve got the time and there isn’t anything really here to distract me,” and I had my book in and out within 12 months.

Toni: Wow.

Lesa: But a lot it has to do with the team, too.  I mean, I think that again, when we talk about influence in our lives, okay, there are people in our lives that are there to be like mentors to us and to use their gifts to help us move forward, and I’ve known that, and I’ve followed that for more than 20 years now in my life.  I don’t hesitate to connect with them.

Whatever it is that I’m doing … if I was writing the book, I had people in my life that I had worked with back in my social work field that, you know, are now working in family mediation and family counseling.  And I had a whole array of people that were just really excited about this project, sort of like yours, Toni, that we’re willing to step in and we’re willing to be a part of this project, because we really believe and understand what it is that you’re doing, and we want to be a part of it.  That’s powerful.

Toni: It is powerful, and you’ve given some very powerful messages here.  You know, it really is a choice to seek out a positive or to stay in a negative or to dwell in the negative, and you’ve made it very clear that you make it a conscious choice to reach for that positive.  And to be able to share that choice and work with using your normal into the coaching world, as you said, I think with something that just makes total sense to you, you’re applying it to children and parents that you work with, and that’s pretty phenomenal stuff.

So Lesa, I’m thrilled that we were able to have you be part of the Get Inspired! Project, and I want people to be able to get ahold of your books or to see your websites, so we will have those links at the bottom of the transcript, and we can’t thank you enough for taking your time out of your schedule to be part of this Project.

Lesa: Thank you, Toni, so much.  It’s my honor, and any time that we can work together, you call me and let me know, and I’m more than happy to assist you.

Toni: Well thank you so much.  Take care of yourself.

Lesa: Thanks, Toni.

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For more information about Lesa Day:  www.yesIcanandIwill.com

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