Day 353: Debbie Brodsky
“I always say, ‘Everyone has a story.’ Someone just yesterday asked me, ‘Well, have you got … I’m sure you have a few boring stories.’ I said, ‘Honestly, I’ve never, ever had a boring story, because everyone’s own stories and their personal history is something that was unique in their experience and what they took away from it.’”
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Toni Reece: Thank you so much, Debbie, for being part of this Project, and before we begin, can you please introduce yourself?
Debbie Brodsky: Yes. Hi, my name is Debbie Brodsky, and I am a filmmaker in Bethesda, Maryland, and I own a company called DMB Pictures where I capture people’s life stories on DVD, and I’m really excited to be here today.
Toni: Oh, well thank you. Thank you for being here. Debbie, when you think of the word inspiration, who do you inspire, and how does that happen?
Debbie: Well, I’d like to think that when I first meet someone and tell them what I do, that I instantly kind of inspire them, and that’s because I think I always get the “wow” factor when I tell them that I capture people’s life stories.
I think for me, when I meet someone that does a job that’s kind of unique and different, I always kind of get that, “Wow, I didn’t know that was a job” kind of thing. But often when I talk to people then, I sort of either get one of two things. I either get … they start thinking immediately of that beloved relative. It could be a parent, a grandparent, great aunt, and all the stories they start telling me. They instantly start telling me some of their stories, and I can see the wheels starting to turn about what they wanted me to preserve for future generations.
I also often get the “Oh, I wish I’d met you before so-and-so passed away” and that, of course, always makes me sad, but I always tell them, you know, I’m the next best person to tell that person’s stories, whether it’s you or it’s someone else within their generation that knew them really well and could share their stories. I’d like to think that, you know, just by telling them the idea, giving the idea in their head of “Oh, I could capture someone’s stories on video,” I think inspires them … I hope inspires them.
Toni: Does it help that … when you say you’re going to tell somebody’s story, do you get the pushback going, “I don’t have a story to tell.”
Debbie: I don’t usually … sometimes I do get that. Sometimes I do, yeah. And of course, my thing is, you know, I always say, “Everyone has a story.” Someone just yesterday asked me, “Well, have you got … I’m sure you have a few boring stories.”
I said, “Honestly, I’ve never, ever had a boring story, because everyone’s own stories and their personal history is something that was unique in their experience and what they took away from it. Because I often work with older individuals, even their living through a period in history is fascinating, because people today didn’t grow up in, you know, times of segregation or times of world wars. And so hearing that personal experience is just amazing, and they don’t realize that that in itself is an interesting story.
Toni: Well, that’s why I ask the question, because there’s … I would imagine that the inspiration also may come from when you start talking to these people and you start to interview them, and they tell their story with maybe a little bit of trepidation in the beginning, that those around them may be inspired by their story, but I’m wondering if the person who’s telling the story becomes reinspired by their stories?
Debbie: Oh, they absolutely do. You know, one of my favorite things that happened – I’ve been doing this almost five years now – and I definitely get the people that are, you know, the clients are the children. They want their parents’ stories captured, and I had a few definitely kind of kicking and screaming … that’s a little exaggeration, but you know, their parents didn’t really want to get on camera.
This one man in particular, he really didn’t want to, you know, share his story. But once we started talking and I started asking him his questions and he is reliving his past, and you know, I asked him about meeting his wife. That’s always one of my favorites, you know, how did couples meet and fall in love? By the end of the interview, not only did he have tears in his eyes, his wife walks back in the room, and he walked up to her and put his hands on her chin and just gave her the sweetest kiss, and you could tell sort of that he had like fallen in love all over again.
Toni: Oh, that’s fantastic!
Debbie: It was so moving. Just asking the questions and having them share their stories inspires them.
Toni: How do you think by doing this type of work helps other people to explore their own potential?
Debbie: Well, I think that as we were just talking about, I think even just … I’ve got a couple ways. I think one is when I interview people, like you said, they don’t think they’re good storytellers, that they don’t have enough to say or they may be intimidated by the cameras. I think just helping them to be comfortable, not only with the camera but just comfortable with sharing.
I think one of the things that I love to do is ask questions, and I think it’s that sort of art of asking good questions and being an active listener gets them into this wonderful conversation. I think also that with the children – often it’s the children or the grandchildren that I work with, they … when we start the information gathering process, because I often … I like to know the stories ahead of time so I kind of know the right way to ask the question or maybe things we want to talk more gently about, because there are definitely people that have had a lot of trauma in their life. But even starting that process, a lot of times, the children don’t know the answers and never actually even thought to ask the question.
So I love that it inspires them to start asking questions and thinking, “Oh, I wonder how that happened for Dad?” or “I wonder what Mom was feeling when she went through such-and-such a time?” And so I am sort of providing this context for really meaningful conversation, and I love when people come back to me and say, “Wow, I had these really great conversations afterward or while we were preparing for this.” They feel like they’ve gotten to know these special people in their lives even better, and a real sense of connection and family history, and just … I don’t know …
Toni: It’s almost like you’ve opened some doors.
Debbie: Yes, yes.
Toni: You know, this opened the door of dialogue between the people that you’re interviewing and the families around them, and gosh, how much … you know, those doors might have been closed in the past before you’ve opened them, and what potential was behind those doors? That must be really amazing.
Debbie: And also, it’s one of those things where I think … I love … some of the people that I’ve interviewed from these older generations, I’ll say, and I’ll even ask them questions about, “Well, what would you have …” – especially for women – “What career might you have done had these opportunities not been so limited?”
Often they will say, “Well, I never even thought of that question, because it just wasn’t even a question at that time.” So helping them to think about these kinds of issues or kinds of ideas is really gratifying to me.
Toni: Debbie, what inspires you?
Debbie: Honestly, I think it’s the people that I interview. I’ve had just some amazing stories. Like I said, everyone has a story to tell, and a few definitely stand out. But in general, like just a lot of people that I’ve interviewed have gone through such challenge, such adversity, and the strength that they have to come out on the other side – and not only come out on the other side but be stronger – are just incredible. I mean, I could give you example after example. I could give you just a few.
A few years ago I interviewed a woman, 50 years old, Stage IV metastatic breast cancer, and she said, “I’m preparing for the worst and hoping for the best.” She had two daughters in college. I was really nervous kind of going into this, you know, that this was going to be just a really depressing interview.
We went to the interview, and she was laughing her whole way through. She just had such a spirit and wonderful outlook on life that just … you know, “I’m going to enjoy every moment and I don’t care what other people think, and I’m going to go to the mall in town and go with my head bald, and if people are upset by that, then that’s their problem.” She just had such an amazing spirit and it was just a wonderful thing to see.
I had another man recently over the summer that I knew. He was about 78 years old. He grew up in the Appalachian mountains as one of ten kids. He lived in a two-room house. Not a two-bedroom house, a two-room house. No electricity. No running water. I don’t think his father even had a job. He sold some crops and things.
You would think this man had an awful life, and he looks back on those memories so fondly, because that was just his life. That was what he knew and, you know, he cherished those times in the woods with his family and said, “I would do it all over again.”
Those kind of stories just really inspire me so much, and I even … I love to pass on little bits and pieces. I have two little boys. Especially my six-year-old, if he complains, you know, complaining about something that I think is really kind of silly, I’ll tell him little bits and pieces of these stories and say, “You don’t know what hard is.”
Toni: Oh, absolutely. I can empathize with that. I just had that turnaround with my own 22-year-old son, who is working with challenged … teenagers that have challenges, and his car broke down. And usually my son would freak out over those things, and he said, “You know, Mom, listening to other people’s stories kind of put my car breaking down in perspective.” And you think, that’s the bell ringer!
Debbie: Yes. Putting your life in perspective, completely. And I think … honestly, I think about the people I interview. I think about them in different times of my day, but all the time, because it’s just … it really is …
Toni: It’s the touches and the outreach; that’s what I’m hearing, too. And it’s nice to be able to hear from you that it does touch you, that it’s not just a job. That it’s a journey and you’re learning from them as well, and you can hear that from you. That’s pretty cool.
Are there other things that inspire you? When you are perhaps going through your day and maybe looking for a little inspiration, do you find yourself reaching for the same tools and resources on a consistent basis?
Debbie: That’s a good question. You know, I think I do … go ahead …
Toni: No … for example, are there books or music or, you know, anything like that that you tend to kind of go to?
Debbie: Yes. Well, I would say with books, I definitely try and read books that are sort of positive, self-motivating kind of books and things like that. You know, I don’t know … I’m sorry.
Toni: No, it sounds like really what inspires you the most is the work that you do.
Debbie: I do. You know, you were saying something about it’s not just a job and you know, like … when I’m going to these interviews, and they can be very, very emotional, I’m definitely able to put on my journalist hat and kind of keep it together. But when I come back here and I start editing and really, like, going through the stories, I’m definitely very, you know, emotional and choked up about it.
You know, I kind of fall in love with all of my clients, because they’re just so special to me, and you know, I’m always a little bit sad when the project ends. But I know that it’s preserving this thing that will go on and on for generations.
Toni: You know, Debbie, part of the unintended outcome of the Get Inspired! Project has been people talking about their passion and purpose, and I’m wondering if you believe that this is your purpose?
Debbie: I’m starting to. You know, it was one of those things that came out of a couple things in starting this business, but I think, you know one of the … you asked I think another question is about exploring your own potential, and you know, I’ve really pushed myself.
When I started this, I knew a lot about documentary television. I knew about how to put together a show, but I didn’t know that much about … not only about the business world, but just about the impact that I was going to have on people by doing these projects. And so once I started, I really pushed myself to expand it even more and just say “What else can I do with this?”
And so I started going to Toastmasters so I could be a better speaker. I was never really one to give speeches, and now I go and give talks and I give workshops to try and get people to think about doing these projects and capturing people’s stories before it’s too late. Whether not just working with me, but just even doing it on their own and getting a video camera and starting to ask questions and starting to just explore questions has been a big part of it.
And also even, you know, kind of like I mentioned before, the woman with cancer –and I’ve had a few other people that have had terminal illnesses that have passed away –and to start thinking about, you know, a broader purpose of really capturing stories for the family members, especially for those with young kids. I’ve had a few friends pass away over the last few years with kids the same ages as mine who had a terminal illness, and so I thought about, you know, wanting to start some sort of foundation or something to help people in that way.
Toni: So it’s really just becoming … it sounds as though it’s a springboard for the future work for you.
Debbie: Yes, it is. It really is.
Toni: When you go to exploring your own potential, what else are you doing so that this springboard can get bigger and bigger and bigger? What are you doing now to explore your own potential?
Debbie: Yeah, well, like I said, I think it’s, you know, it’s going … it’s getting the word out. It’s getting that message out. It’s being part of organizations.
I recently … when I started this business a few years ago , I didn’t realize that there are a lot of other people out there doing this, and there’s actually an organization called the Association of Personal Historians. And there are people that not only film video, but they also have people write their stories and do it as a novel and things like that. And so getting involved with that group, and sort of almost like a movement, you know, like a personal movement and a movement with lot of other people to get people to record those stories. I know the … I’m blanking about the one. Oh, the Story Corp does a good job of that with radio, but I personally feel like video is just such a … that three-dimensional piece, and you can’t always get …
Toni: Absolutely. It’s interesting because I know that you’re creating a legacy of stories for the families, but I’m wondering how often –and this would be so cool to find out –but I’m wondering how often those legacies that are being left almost inspire the families to start creating their legacy while they’re living.
Debbie: That is interesting … well, I do know … I will say that the woman that I mentioned, the 50-year-old woman with cancer, her parents didn’t know … no one actually knew that we were doing it, other than her husband, and so they only saw it when she passed away. It actually inspired them not only to capture their stories because they said, “You know what, we have our values and we want to make sure they get passed along to our grandchildren.”
But they also then started thinking about “What can we do to honor her legacy?” They’re actually starting to think about a program where they can help cancer … people going through cancer to capture their stories on video. So it has sort of led to other things, which is really nice.
Toni: Absolutely. And that is why the work that you’re doing is so amazing, and you can hear your passion and that this is evolving into your purpose. You can actually hear it in this interview, and that is why having someone like you and the work that you’re doing on the Get Inspired! Project is so very, very important, and we cannot thank you enough, Debbie, for being part of this Project.
Debbie: Thank you. I always love hearing good questions, and you asked wonderful questions to help me explore, I guess … that I’m going to continue to think about after we get off the phone.
Toni: Oh, that’s fantastic, Debbie. Thank you again. It’s been a pleasure to meet you, and we will have a link to your website at the bottom of the transcript, and good luck to you.
Debbie: Thank you so much. Best of luck to the Project.
Toni: Thank you. Take care, Debbie.
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For more information about Debbie Brodsky: www.dmbpictures.com
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