Day 330: Carey Mann and Zoë Clews
“… learning to love yourself can be a real challenge, but I think it is one of the most important things you can do, as well as our intimate relationships with others can also reflect back to us things that we need to work on. I think relationships are a great mirror, really.”
.
.
.
Toni Reece: Thank you so much, Carey and Zoë, for being part of this Project, and before we begin, I’m going to let you introduce yourselves.
Carey Mann: Thanks for having us. It’s really great to be doing the interview with you. My name is Carey, and I’m from zoëandcarey.com.
Toni: Okay, and I know we are … for those who are listening to this interview, we are going to be doing a joint interview with Carey and Zoë, and so you guys let us know who’s talking, and I’m sure that this is going to be fantastic. So Carey, let me ask you – who do you inspire, and how does that happen?
Carey: I would say that we inspire our clients first and foremost. I think our mission statement is to help women create the lives that they really, really want by redesigning whichever part of their life isn’t working for them, whether that’s focusing on creating healthy, fulfilling relationships, their own business, a better relationship with their body and self, or just to be more open and adventurous and positive about life in general.
We’re firm believers that change is an inside job, really, and we believe we inspire people to do the inner work that gets reflected in their external circumstances. We’d like to inspire people to take healthy risks. We both had quite exciting media jobs/careers in the past, which was fun, but we knew when we were doing those jobs that we weren’t really fulfilled in what we were doing.
So making a transition to setting up private practices as therapists was quite scary in terms of identity and who were we becoming – we’re becoming something else altogether from what we were before, and we didn’t really fully believe that we could do it.
What we’ve learned is that you don’t need to know exactly how you’re going to do something, you just need to believe and trust that you can do it and focus on what you want, because obviously what you focus on you get more of.
Toni: Absolutely. And so can you give an example of how that inspiration occurs between you and your client?
Carey: I think … I think the inspiration with clients is generally due to the process of the session, and then obviously each client is very different. So can you be a bit more specific with that?
Toni: Sure. Just an example, or even an example of a testimony that someone may have given you where that transaction that occurs between you and your client and inspiration – just an example of what might happen?
Carey: Hang on for a second, Toni, because we’ve really thought about what we’re going to say, and I mean, I’d have to really think about … I’d have to think about that for a second, so …
Toni: Absolutely.
Carey: Hang on one second. One sec. Toni, could you read that out loud so Zoë can hear that as well?
Toni: Sure. I was just wondering … hi Zoë, welcome to the interview … I was just asking … I want everyone who is listening and reading the transcript to really get a sense for what you do and how that inspiration occurs, because it sounds fantastic. So, can you give an example of what happens when someone’s in front of you?
Zoë Clews: Okay. So I guess the first thing we do is talk to that person about what it is that they want to achieve in their lives, what it is they’re struggling with. So, using an example of a relationship, say we have somebody who comes in who is having trouble meeting somebody, seeking the right sort of person or the relationship is not working.
The first thing we do really is identify what might be in the way. So it might be an issue with self-confidence. A lot of time it’s fear. Working the process with the same person, we get to identify the fears, perhaps those came in childhood in their beliefs and we try to help them come to that themselves. It’s really identifying and clearing those at a subconscious level, and we look to make changes to get someone focused on what they see now and what sort of person they do want to see.
A lot of times we’re working with someone on their relationships and focus very much on improving the client’s relationship with themselves. We’re firm believers that if you have a good relationship with yourself the more likely you are to have a really good relationship with their romantic partner.
Toni: Well thank you for that. I think it’s really important to clarify how that inspiration occurs, and it just sounds like the work that you guys do is so fantastic that I wanted to make sure that we knew what happens between you and your clients. The work that you guys do, then, how do you help them to … help people to explore their own potential when you do this type of work?
Zoë: Would you mind saying that again, Toni?
Toni: How do you help others then explore their own potential?
Zoë: So the purpose of our work, really, in our practice, is specifically on helping somebody realize their full potential. Like I said, we begin by helping clients really identify limiting, unhealthy beliefs that are standing in the way. What I/we found is once you start to remove negative beliefs, negativity, thought patterns, certain destructive behaviors, perhaps, then somebody can move much more towards their own natural self-confidence. When you start to, I guess, challenge someone’s limits about themselves, they have a bigger sense … they get a bigger sense of who they are and what they can become and realize that nearly anything is possible.
Helping them … part of the process as well, I think, is helping someone identify what it is they really, really want. It can be a bit of a hard question. You know, we’re all very much focused on what we don’t want. I think what we’re often conditioned to do. We all know what we don’t want, asking yourself what you really, really want in life can be challenging if you realize you need to make changes to achieve this.
What Carey and I do is … the reason we’re here, really, is to support women on their journey as they do this. We also think of beliefs like invisible walls, and we really don’t know what they are until we keep coming up against them and we realize we’re in the same old pattern of behavior or thinking. We very much, you know, we think if you can change your beliefs you can change your life, but the first steps in doing that is identifying what those unhelpful beliefs are.
Toni: So what inspires you?
Zoë: For me, the resilience of the human spirit, I’d say that inspires me. I’m constantly inspired by the man on the street and by that I mean that, you know, we’re often offered up celebrities and famous people as role models, when in fact there’s been people, clients included, that I’ve met who have worked very hard to overcome tragedy or trauma in their early life or later life or present life, and they refuse to let it crush their spirit or limit who they are.
I mean, those to me are the people that really inspire me, whether that’s someone who is … I don’t know, a recovering addict, someone who struggled with mental illness. Anyone who takes responsibility, faces themselves, keeps on pushing forward and refuses to give up, even in the face of great adversity, that’s what I would say would inspire me.
Toni: Thank you for that answer, Zoë. Would Carey like to answer that question?
Zoë: Yes. I will just pass you over.
Carey: Hi, Toni.
Toni: Hi. What inspires you, Carey?
Carey: I’m totally inspired by forward thinking people like Dr. Bruce Lipton. He is obviously bridging the gap between spirituality and science, and also Gregg Braden – he does something similar where he sort of combines his own discoveries with new science, insights into history, religion, and ancient mysteries and that kind of thing.
The person that’s inspired me most in terms of personal growth and change in my life has absolutely been Neale Donald Walsch, who completely changed my belief and perceptions about relationships. I mean, reading his work really enabled me to see how you can thrive in a relationship once you let go of the fear.
Lynne Twist is very inspirational to me, and I’m kind of now looking at liaison with The Hunger Project about organizing some kind of fundraising event. So I’m quite inspired by people who have changed my life with their thoughts, their belief, their wisdom, their knowledge, and sort of looking at empowering men and women to change their own … end their own hunger, very empowering people with empowering words and thoughts and philosophies.
Toni: You can hear that. It’s really… it’s really interesting.
Carey: I’m really passionate. I’m very passionate about it.
Toni: You can absolutely hear that. When you … have you ever had a day, Carey, when, you know, you might need to seek a little bit more inspiration than the day before? Are their go-to tools and resources that you tend to reach for on a consistent basis, in addition to what you’ve stated?
Carey: Yeah, there are. I mean … I mean, I run. I used to hate running, and as you get a little bit older you realize actually “I’ve got to do some activity,” you know? I used to hate running until I sort of wired in learning with running. So on a sort of every-other day basis, I go for a run and I put in my earphones and I listen to something new, somebody new. It could be something a friend has said that inspired them. It could be something my husband has said has inspired him, but I use that kind of thing as sort of, more or less, an every other day kind of inspiration.
But there’s also things like meditating and doing things like that where you’re just kind of bringing yourself back to living in the moment. And also, gratification is so important every day. I get up in the morning or I go to bed at night, one or the other, and I write in my gratitude diary all of the things that I’m really grateful for, because that keeps me very positive and very living in the moment and knowing that I don’t have anything lacking in my life.
We’re all such consumers, and we live our lives thinking we need more than we do, you know? I think it’s really important for you to just think about “what I need, not what I want” all the time by being a big consumer. Don’t get me wrong, I’m the proper girl , I love clothes, but I think those … my spending and everything has very much changed through the inspiration that I have in my life.
Toni: So what are you doing now to explore your own potential?
Carey: That’s an interesting one, actually. I think we both, Zoë and I together, I think … I mean, I can pass you over to Zoë in a second, but I think we explore our own potential by encouraging each other and ourselves to grow and challenge each other and ourselves.
When you’re in a relationship like Zoë and I are in … I mean, our relationship sometimes is more tense and more intense and more challenging than my relationship with my husband. So we remind ourselves that it’s often only when we feel uncomfortable in feelings or in situations that we can really push the boundary in terms of change, and we can really grow, because when I feel or see a situation that I feel uncomfortable in, I don’t walk away from the person or the situation. I really think about what’s underneath that, and obviously, it’s never about anybody else, it’s always about me.
I think Zoë and I very much grow together. We also think one of the most important things that we can do in our lifetime is to learn to be our own best friend. We think this can be challenging. It’s just not something we’re conditioned to do, but it’s beyond worthwhile. And for us, a good relationship with yourself or the self is the foundation to a happy and successful life. Would you like me to pass you over to Zoë?
Toni: Absolutely. Thank you so much for your answers, too, Carey.
Carey: Okay, thank you.
Zoë: Hi, Toni.
Toni: Hi, Zoë. So the final question of the Project is, what do you do to explore your own potential?
Zoë: I think I’d agree with what Carey said in terms of pushing myself forward. I think it’s really important when you’re feeling low to understand that it’s just a perspective and it’s just a day, and you’ll even feel differently the next day. I also think putting yourself into situations, you know, feeling the fear and doing it anyway has always been a big thing for me. Even if I thought I can’t do it and I’ve been feeling really anxious, I’ve sort of pushed myself forward.
You always surprise yourself, really. You know, whatever happens you find that you handle it, you know, and I think one of the most important things with fear is to push through it. And you don’t have to particularly do it well, you just have to make sure that you do it. And each time you’re learning and growing, really.
Like Carey said as well, I think, you know, learning to love yourself can be a real challenge, but I think it is one of the most important things you can do, as well as our intimate relationships with others can also reflect back to us things that we need to work on. I think relationships are a great mirror, really.
So, you know, just being open, really, always thinking “What can I learn from this? How can I move this forward? How can I grow, surrounding myself with people that are positive, people that I find optimistic, people that are going to champion you, as well as challenge you?” I think it’s really important, the people you choose to surround yourself with.
Toni: That’s a great way to bring closure to this interview, because what you both are doing to help women with their own beliefs and to move them forward, you guys also work on that yourselves. And I love that Carey spoke about running and working on herself not only physically but mentally as she runs, to the way that you’ve described about, you know, how you need to feel about yourself.
And we will position your website at the bottom of this transcript so people can learn more about you and the work that you both do, and we’re very lucky to have you on the Get Inspired! Project. And we thank you so very much, both of you, for being here.
Zoë: Thanks, Toni, it’s been great.
Carey: Thanks, Toni.
Toni: Okay, take care of yourselves.
___________________________________________________________
For more information about Carey Mann and Zoë Clews: www.zoeandcarey.com
.
Post Comment