Day 274: Joyce Odidison
“We’re social beings, and we need to be in relationships and we need to connect in order to grow and to become more of what we can and who we should be. We can’t do that in isolation. We can take it and go back and sort it, but we do need to get that from those connections.”
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Toni Reece: Thank you so much, Joyce, for agreeing to be part of this Project, and before we begin, can you please introduce yourself?
Joyce Odidison: My name is Joyce Odidison, and I am in Canada.
Toni: You’re in Canada … and what do you do, Joyce?
Joyce: Well, I am an interpersonal wellness coach, and I work with organizations and individuals to help improve the interpersonal connection.
Toni: Well, that just leads us beautifully into the very first question, which is, who do you think you inspire, and how does that happen?
Joyce: Well, every day I have the pleasure of working with people who are probably a little bit frustrated, uncertain, and sometimes disillusioned about their relationships; and that can be relationships at work, at school, with their families, or spouses. I have the pleasure of helping them to change their perspective and to visualize their relationship in a whole different way, so that they can be inspired to create solid gold relationships.
Toni: I like that – “solid gold relationships.” Joyce, can you give an example of how that happens? How does that inspiration happen? I’m sure there’s a whole process that takes place, but can you give us a snapshot of what that might look like?
Joyce: Well, what we do with the work in interpersonal wellness coaching is that we have what we call the Interpersonal Wellness Systems Model that helps all clients to look at themselves as a system of interconnected parts. So often we see ourselves as victims or unlucky or just not getting it, and when we introduce that concept of system as an individual and recognizing that your life is made up of the spiritual, the social, the emotional, the occupational, the intellectual, environmental, financial, and physical, and that all culminates into how you’re going to connect with others, all of that will contribute to how well you do that and how well you experience those in your life and those solid gold relationships.
And so, when we do that, that really inspires people to see themselves as “Oh my goodness, I can do something about this, I am not a victim. I am empowered. I have control. I can make a difference!” It’s just amazing, Toni, to see the difference. I have this client that I have worked with, and this is someone who is 65 years old, because of life circumstances is still in the workforce and is anticipating being in the workforce for another four to five years and had really just been so angry and embittered. After the first session, he came in for his second session last week, and I could not recognize him. He was walking differently, he was erect – he just looked like a completely different person.
I said “What happened?” He said “You did this!” I said “I did nothing!” He said “Well, I am inspired. I went out and I did all these things, and all these things are happening, and people at work are asking me what happened to me?” I said “Well, good for you!”
That’s what I do. That’s what makes me happy.
Toni: That is fantastic! When you do this type of work or even when it carries over into personal relationships, how do you think that you might help someone to explore their own potential?
Joyce: That’s exactly what it does, because now they’re inspired. They can see themselves as having some control and having a voice. They’re now inspired to communicate differently, and they do what we call responsible communication, because they recognize that every action and every choice has a consequence, and they can control some of that. They have some control over how they execute and the results they get, recognizing their potential to be better able to communicate with others, get different results, be better able to negotiate life realities, and coming out more successful.
Sometimes they come in just so surprised. They’re like “You know, I asked my wife for this or I asked my boss for this, and it worked. They said yes!” I said “Good for you!” Because previously they had gone into that exchange with the thought that they were just really going to be a victim of circumstances, and now they are looking at it that “I can help to create this new reality. I have potential to think and to assess my thoughts and to make more rational decisions and to not flare up and be angry. I can really talk with others and get them to see my point of view, and listen to others because I’m in control.”
Toni: So what inspires you? What do you need to be inspired?
Joyce: Silence. It’s funny, because I do need silence. I read a lot. I’m an avid reader. I read everything from science to fiction to … as long as it’s English. Unfortunately, I can’t speak any other language yet. I’m still planning on learning one or two more, but I do …I read widely and from time to time I will say “Okay, I need to read fiction, I need something that makes no sense.” I do; I read a lot. I journal, I do meditation. Those are my things that really inspire me. Words inspire me. I’m inspired by good conversations.
Those are some of the key things that really inspire me, and when I take that all in, I need silence to process it and to sift it and put it in the right category and in the right space, and come up with the right actions or results that would help to emphasize it in my life, and that is really what it all comes down to.
Toni: So with the work that you do, what I pulled out is helping to create a new reality for someone, realizing that they do have choices and different choices that they can make, and that’s giving them information. That’s also what inspires you is you need information – regardless of what type of reading it is, but the information of a story, information of a conversation. It sounds like that information portal for you is very important.
Joyce: Yes, it is. It is. I do like to listen to books. I actually do … one of my favorite things right now is really to actually listen to the books that are read by the author themselves. I’m finding that quite interesting versus the ones that are read by a narrator. The authors bring a different quality to the reading of their books, so I find I’m actually enjoying those, and different music, so yes, it’s really good to … I think we all need to learn from each other, and it’s all part of that connection. We’re social beings, and we need to be in relationships and we need to connect in order to grow and to become more of what we can and who we should be. We can’t do that in isolation. We can take it and go back and sort it, but we do need to get that from those connections.
Toni: Was there a moment in time, Joyce, that you realized that that interconnection, the connections themselves, became so important? Was there a moment that you went “Yeah, you know, this is something that is important; I’ve witnessed the importance, and now I need to do something else with this?”
Joyce: That’s a good question. I think for me, that happened in my youth. I had the pleasure of going away for school and living alone, and I remember one day saying that “I don’t want that anymore; I want to really have a more fuller, richer life where I have more involvement. I am going to have a family that I can love and interact with and expand my network,” and that was something that I’ve done. I think I’ve been very deliberate in how I was able to do that and continue to do that. Just being very involved in my own church community and in my community; I am a volunteer as well externally. Both are very, very important things to me in terms of those connections.
Toni: And how do you continue to explore your own potential so that you can continue to do this great work?
Joyce: Well, I really do reflect on humility. I think that’s really one of the key things for me is finding out just how much more can I learn, because it’s funny, the more you learn, the more you realize you don’t know anything, and so I’m always awed at “Oh, oh, I need to learn this.” I think for me that that’s the piece to it, and I’m always amazed at the work that I do and the results that I get, because there’s so much more that can be done – what next?
Toni: Joyce, how would you make the connection between you and what you need to explore your own potential to then what you teach others when you’re exploring their potential?
Joyce: I know for me, connections are great, and information is great, because knowledge is power. And when we talk about power, we’re not talking about power from an egotistical point of view; we’re talking about the information that allows us to live better, richer, fuller lives, which is really all purpose here on this planet. And so when I work with others, I always start off by asking them “What is it you want? What is it you want to do more of, be more of, and be part of?” That really is the motivation to everything else.
Once we’ve found that out and we’ve assessed our core values and we put it together, it’s beautiful. One of the things I do in my work when I look at Interpersonal Wellness System Model, there is a piece in there that talks about having that relationship with self and others, being able to resolve conflicts. And the conflict management is being able to not just resolve but to prevent, and being able to send out positive vibrations to those around you – not that negative energy that sucks the life out of others — and being aware of yourself and how you come across and how you’re working with others.
Then, the value of being able to collaborate with others, rather than being manipulated in your relationships, having that ability to work in collaboration so you don’t feel like a victim or being put upon. And then having that sense of belonging, knowing that you are in a caring relationship where that’s a mutual sense of belonging and caring for each other, be it in work or in your personal life, or in your community. Finding someone, something to care for gives us just an amazing amount of vigor in our life.
The research shows that those who have healthy connections live longer, more successful, more productive lives. I mean, longevity is good if you’re living a healthier, fuller life, and so when you see that having those positive social connections really does emphasize that, and most importantly gives that sense of personal power, that empowerment that we feel secure knowing that there is that soft place to land, and that really is the anchor for us to go on and take life on fully.
In that, we can have fun because we are living in a harmonious relationship with others. We’re living in harmony, not just with ourselves, but with those around us and this whole universe, you know, or planet, or surrounding environment. You can you ask for more fun in life when you have that sense of well being, of knowing that you’re doing those things.
And you know, as a result of that in those connected relationships, you are inspired, because you are inspired then to give more to those in your network, and they hold you in esteem, and that esteem in itself will give you more inspiration for life. And you can also inspire them to be their best self, and it’s just a wonderful give and take. It’s a flow in and flow out of the relationship, and there’s just so much benefit to that.
Toni: You absolutely just described it so eloquently, and we can’t thank you enough – there’s a lot of information from you for us to process, but it’s all so rich in content, just in a 15-minute interview. So we cannot thank you enough, Joyce, for sharing not only how you inspire, but what you need, because they go so hand-in-hand, and for that, we thank you.
Joyce: Thank you so much.
Toni: You are welcome. Take care, Joyce, and thank you again for a wonderful interview.
Joyce: My pleasure. Thanks, Toni.
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For more information about Joyce Odidison: www.interpersonalwellness.com
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