Day 261: Gail Larsen

June 18, 2010 at 12:01 am, Category: Inspiration

“When others can hear the truth of our story – not told with a lot of motivational yahoo, rah-rah stuff, but the deep experiences we’ve gone through that have shaped who we are, I think that’s inspiring to others to say ‘Wow, I can do it too.’”

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Toni Reece: Thank you so much, Gail, for agreeing to be part of this Project today, and before we begin, can you please introduce yourself?

Gail Larsen: I’m Gail Larsen.  I’m talking to you from Santa Fe, New Mexico.  My work is called Real Speaking.  I’m the author of Transformational Speaking:  If You Want to Change the World, Tell a Better Story.

Toni: I love that.  I really do.  Gail, when you think about the word inspiration, who do you think you inspire, and how does that happen?

Gail: Well, I think who we inspire really becomes a process over a time of looking who shows up when we put forth our real selves.  So who I inspire are the people who come to me for training.  I work with small groups of six people who are looking to find their voice, to extend it powerfully in the world around what they love.

So as a result … I guess I would have to say, Toni, as a result of writing my book, I was able to put structure around what it is that I believe, and it became such a part of me, voicing it through writing, that I find now as I speak to people there’s that connection that’s around inspiration.  Because if we’re not inspired, we’re not going to extend ourselves into the world at a time when our voices are really needed.

Toni: And Gail, what happens when you have that sort of transaction with your … with the people that you’re training?  Can you give an example of that inspiration?

Gail: Well, one of the things that I have learned over time, Toni, is that most of us get stuck in an old image of ourselves.  We are stuck in jet lag about who we are, and the stresses of these times often take us to an expression that isn’t our best self.  I think we all know that under stress we sort of revert to old behavior, and it can become our view of ourselves.

Other people see us showing up at our best, and we’d like to think that’s who we are all the time.  But getting this old belief about ourselves out of the way, or not just trusting that there’s this tender, shared humanity where we all have our bad days is part of the inspiration process for me, because we need to see ourselves and others as we truly are.

And the good news about that is, is we strip away those layers of pretense and patterns of how we think we need to show up.  The true inspirational self within us appears, because we get to the real dreams and visions we hold that bring us alive, and then through our speaking, bring others alive.

Toni: How does that then help to explore someone’s potential?  It seems that that question may have already been answered by you, and it may be obvious, but I think there’s more hidden there.  By going through this process and by stripping away that pretense, do I get to my potential?

Gail: I call it – and it’s an indigenous term – original medicine.  It’s a belief that we all come to this planet with gifts and talents that are ours and ours alone, that they’re nowhere else duplicated.  And the second part of that belief is, is if we don’t bring it forward, it’s lost to the world for all the time.  How’s that for a clarion call around purpose?

But we have a socialization process that really is more about fitting in than standing out.  So when I work with people, I have them define in just a few words what their original medicine is; and that’s a process in itself and being reflected back to them through the eyes of an important stranger who is really meeting them for the first time and giving them some sense of those gifts and talents that they may know, or that they may deny.

So with … I tell people that if they know their original medicine and their message, it’s going to simplify and amplify everything they do in life, because then we’re not showing up in the wrong places trying to be heard where no one gets us, and then it shuts us down.  It moves us forward substantially.

Toni: Gail, what inspires you?

Gail: I’m inspired by seeing ordinary people say “Yes, I have something to say, and it matters.”  And as you’ve seen through so many of your interviews, Toni, the things they go out and begin because they’re inspired make my heart sing.  I believe through my work I have a front row seat for the best things that are happening in the world.

Toni: When you find yourself needing to be inspired and looking for inspiration, Gail, do you tend to reach for the same things, the tools, resources that inspire you?

Gail: I often … you know, when I really need to be inspired … I’m often looking for my next teacher.  My longstanding teacher for 10 years was the cultural anthropologist Angeles Arrien.  She’s the author of The Fourfold Way. She’d be a great interview for you.  Basically, what she’s done is look at indigenous cultures worldwide and what they essentially believe, and apply it to contemporary life, and it’s so simple.

Her book, The Fourfold Way, gives four principles – show up and be present; pay attention to what has heart and meaning; tell the truth without blame or judgment; and be open to outcome, not attached to outcome.

When I find life isn’t working, which of course is what I need to be inspired, I look at which one I’m falling short on.  Am I not operating from my heart?  Am I showing up for the things that really don’t have meaning for me anymore?  Am I shut down because I’m afraid to tell the truth to someone?  Or am I really attached to how something’s going to end up, so that I can’t really see the new possibilities?

So Angeles was a true source in my life for inspiration, and now I’m doing some shamanic studies, because I knew it was time for another level of personal work.  So I keep looking for opportunities to be around other people in a learning environment and a learning community, because that keeps me inspired.

Toni: Gail, this journey that you’ve been on that has brought you to a place where you’re able to share your gifts and talents and train others to find their own voice, I can imagine must have been incredible.  How did you get to this place?  Was it … I’m sure … I know it was a process, I would imagine, but were there moments along the way where you went “Yup, that’s where I have to make a turn.  Okay, I’ve had enough, now I need to go down another path” – or was this just something that led you down this path?

Gail: I’d say it was both.  I think for all of us it takes courage.  Even in teaching speaking, Toni, I say we have a comfort zone that most people aspire to, but it’s numb and boring, and then we have a home zone where we’re completely aligned and in our power and in our purpose.  So what I’d say is, I’ve had periods of extreme discomfort and disruption in my life in order to keep moving to that call – inner call – that says “That feels like home; that’s where I need to go right now.”

I’m the daughter of an entrepreneur, and so there wasn’t a lot of stability growing up financially, because my dad made a lot of changes.  They’d move to live where they wanted to be, etc., and so it’s not unfamiliar to me, but there’s been times in my life where I’ve just railed against “Oh my gosh, not again!  I’ve got to start over!”  You know, we can think we’re starting over, but the truth is, all those threads from the past somehow come together in a new weaving, but often not without periods of extreme disruption and really not seeing the path ahead.

So for me, I had an employment agency at the time of women coming into their own in the 70s, and I decided I would do this Tennessee Women’s Career Convention.  It was so visible; 4,000 women from 16 states came.  A hundred companies were there hiring women, and it was so visible.  I was the first woman to be named the Tennessee Small Businessman of the Year – after that, they changed it to person.

Toni: I would hope!

Gail: But because I was a woman, people wanted me to speak, and I was terrified.  So I joined the National Speaker’s Association to learn more about the world of speaking, and totally fell in love with it.  I am such a speaker junkie.  I ended up selling my business and moving to Arizona to be the CEO of the organization at that early term in its development.  I’m not an association exec, but I learned to be, and it required my entrepreneurial talents.

But from there, it has evolved, and I never realized that working with speaking and people’s voices and true caring with my work until a number of big ventures that I got involved in, raised money for, fell apart.  I think often it’s nonnegotiable life experiences that are very painful, that cause us to take a deeper look at what we’re here to do.

Many people teach that around the words “the hero’s journey” or “the heroine’s journey” and it’s … but you know, these challenges in our lives that we somehow find the way to overcome are the foundation of our story, and therefore our capacity to inspire others.  The homecoming part of the hero’s journey says it’s not complete until you go back to the village and share the boon.  And that’s what you’re asking your guests to do, you know, to take whatever their hero’s journey has been and share the benefit and the learning from that so it can then inspire others.

Toni: Thank you so much for that.  The final question of the Project, Gail, is what are you doing now to continuously explore your own potential so that others can continue to share and learn from you?

Gail: What I’m doing is my most recent leap of faith … was moving back to Santa Fe last month.  I felt so guided two-and-a-half years ago, Toni, to move to Whidbey Island, Washington, and I bought a home. I thought “Oh, this will be my final resting place,” and I didn’t realize that I would — with a change from 300 days of sunshine a year to 300 days of rain — that I would have seasonal affective disorder so badly I was in terror.  It was a very hard decision to say I’ve got to be where I smile every day.

So that’s one of the things I had to do, even though it appears to be at great financial loss.  It wasn’t the best time to buy a home and try to sell it two years later, but to reclaim my life and my happiness and my joy so that I can put that vibration out into the world is fundamental to who I am.  It wasn’t an easy decision, but that’s the most recent one that allows me to stand in a place where I feel inspired so that I can continue to extend myself with my gifts.

Toni: And it was taking a risk, and knowing that, you know, you would lose a little, but you gained so much.

Gail: Yeah; and you know, I think we talk about risk-taking in a very glib way.  You know, leaps of faith, you’ve got to “go for the gold.”  And the truth is, lots of times we fall flat on our faces, and we get the sense in our society that we’re not supposed to do that, or not admit that.  And I think what it does is when we see people only showing up when they’re at the top of their game, that it gives a false perspective and model for others.

I believe that the way we can inspire is tell the truth.  Let others know “Hey, I didn’t come out of the womb fully formed knowing what to do and how to do it without error or without course corrections.”  When others can hear the truth of our story – not told with a lot of motivational yahoo, rah-rah stuff, but the deep experiences we’ve gone through that have shaped who we are, I think that’s inspiring to others to say “Wow, I can do it too.”

Toni: Gail, you have been a complete joy in this interview today, and for me and my perspective – and others will have their own – listening to your story and how you tell your story of what you … how you inspire but also what you need and what you’re currently doing, to me was like having a warm blanket over me on a cold day, and that I haven’t experienced too often in the interviews.  It was just a different experience, and I thank you for that, and I thank you very much for agreeing to be part of this Project.

Gail: Thank you, and thank you for that reflection back, Toni – and congratulations on following your vision without the end game in mind, to bring forth the stories that can change our future.

Toni: Thank you, Gail, and take care of yourself.

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For more information about Gail Larsen:  www.realspeaking.net

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