Day 250: Dr. Cindy Nurik
“… that creative spark, that inspiration I think happens from inside your heart, your soul, and your mind. When all those three come together, it’s like that little spark. And when they all come together and you finally figure it out, it’s like a little flash and then that inspiration comes and then you do something about it.”
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Toni Reece: Thank you so much, Dr. Cindy, for agreeing to be part of the Project and before we begin, can you please introduce yourself?
Dr. Cindy Nurik: Yes, hi. My name is Dr. Cindy Bunin Nurik, and I’m an early childhood specialist and the founder of Mommy and Me, and I’ve been working with parents and children for over 30 years. I hate to admit, but I have.
Toni: Well Dr. Cindy, when you think of the word inspiration, who do you think you inspire, and how does that happen?
Dr. Cindy: I definitely believe that I inspire parents to take a better look at themselves and to who they are, and to look inside and figure out what makes them tick as a human being, so if they understand what makes them tick, they’re able to help their children. I’m inspired by the children and how they react with their parents, and the parents working hard to really be the best that they can be.
Toni: Fantastic. Now, is this done through the work that you do, through the writing that you do? How does it happen?
Dr. Cindy: It’s really a combination. I was the founder of Mommy and Me. I’ve been doing Mommy and Me classes now for an incredibly long time, and really what Mommy and Me is is spending one-on-one time with your child, interacting, playing, being present. So what’s happened in the Mommy and Me classes that I’ve taught, in the books that I’ve written, the DVDs, and the private practice that I’m in, working with parents every day helping them be the best they can be and children as well, helping them learn how to work with their parents. So it happens on many, many different levels.
Toni: Okay; and by the work that you do and what people learn from you, how do you think then that helps them to explore their own potential?
Dr. Cindy: I think by just being open and realizing that they can change, and that we’re all human and we all can make mistakes and learn from them, because that’s the one thing I think human beings … you know, we chastise ourselves “Oh my God, what have we done wrong and our child is ruined forever,” but the great news is, you can always change. You can always make a change and make it a better day the next day. Every morning that we wake up and we put our feet on the floor, we have a chance to start over, and that’s what’s so important that so many of us need to realize – every day is a fresh start.
Toni: Is that one of the things that you tend to talk about with the kids as well as the parents, that they get that fresh start every day?
Dr. Cindy: Yes. I tell parents and children that, because you know, children always say “I’ve been bad, I’ve been this, I’ve been that,” and I say “No, you haven’t been bad, you know, you’re just learning and you’re just growing, but tomorrow when you wake up in the morning you can start all over again and start fresh and try” – and the same thing with parents. They’re always so upset and say “Oh, I’ve ruined my child” and I say “You haven’t ruined your child – just look and see what you’ve learned from the situation because if you haven’t learned, then you can’t grow. So if you realize how you can change, then you can grow and become a better person and a better parent.”
Toni: Is there a similarity between how you inspire the children as well as how you inspire the parents? Do you find that sometimes that common theme is common between both of them?
Dr. Cindy: Yes, it truly is. Everybody usually thinks that it’s so different because one’s an adult and one’s a parent, but so many times you’re dealing with parent … it’s really the inner child that you’re dealing with and all the hurts that we’ve experienced through our lives as children. So really you’re dealing with children, you know, adults with their child issues, and children. So you’d be surprised how common it truly is, the commonalities that parents and children have.
Toni: Dr. Cindy, what inspires you?
Dr. Cindy: My daughter inspires me. I have an amazing daughter. She inspires me just every day to be the best that I can be. She’s taught me so much in my life. Even though I’m a parenting expert, she has taught me how to be a better parent and to help others through what I have learned through her. All children, all children inspire me. The youth, the beginning, the freshness, the ideas they have and how they want to live their lives, that’s what inspires me. Children inspire me.
Toni: Are there other things that you tend to reach for on a regular basis when you are looking for inspiration?
Dr. Cindy: Yes. To me, a thought, an idea, something I believe in strongly inspires me. For example, you know, I’m seeing so much happening now with – this is a perfect example – with technology and how parents are spending less time with their children, being less attentive to their children. If the phone rings, if it’s in the middle of a conversation with their child, you know, they’ll stop that and pick up the phone, or they won’t give their child eye contact.
Seeing what’s happened with parents really kind of not paying the attention they should, it inspired me to write a new book on how parents can spend that what I call “unplugged time” with their children, and how easy it can be, and just wanting to let them know how they need to do it and why it’s important. And giving them ways to do it is the most important thing, because we are too plugged in and we do need to get unplugged.
Toni: You stated earlier that you’ve been doing this kind of work for 30 years. What do you do to continue to be inspired to look for those new ideas and those new themes? What happens?
Dr. Cindy: It’s a really good question, Toni. You know, I think a lot of my own soul searching, a lot of observing, being out in the world and looking at interactions between human beings and how they interact and thinking about what can we do to change to make this better, to make it different, to make it more appropriate. And then I’ll sit and I’ll think about it and think about it, and then all of a sudden I’ll say “Oh, this is what I can do. This is how that situation has inspired me to go ahead and try to help make a change.” It’s a very interesting, you know, thought process in the way it happens.
Toni: I would imagine – it sounds like it!
Dr. Cindy: I think that most people are probably that way, though. They’ll see something, it will create a spark in them, and then all of a sudden they’ll say “What can I do? Now I have the spark, what can I do, what can I actually do to change it or do something about the situation?”
Toni: What’s interesting about how you describe that is through the Get Inspired! Project, one of the themes that is flushing out is the sense of passion and purpose, so that spark, that idea, is that how you would tag that for yourself?
Dr. Cindy: Absolutely. You know, another example is, as I live my life and things happen in my life, I get inspired. For example, I’m a breast cancer survivor. I’ve been a breast cancer survivor for over 20 years, and I was very young when it happened to me. And there I was at 34 and watching some of the other people going through it and I thought about it, and I said “Well, I’ve been through this now. I’m going to be inspired to help other people.”
So I started a cancer wellness program and started doing counseling with cancer patients. My own illness helped me inspire myself and others to get healthy. That’s what happens usually. I live my life, I have an experience, something happens, I get inspired, and then I create. I create a way to help and reach out and change.
Toni: It really does. It really does start with that experience.
Dr. Cindy: Yes, definitely.
Toni: That is amazing. How do you explore your own potential?
Dr. Cindy: How do I explore my own potential? How I explore my own potential is I do a lot of interpersonal workshops to learn about myself and to dig deeper into my emotions and my psyche, and continuing all those types of personal growth workshops really helps me learn more about who I am, how I’m growing, how I’m not growing, what needs to get changed, and that’s how I constantly, constantly search. Also, being with my friends and family and listening – listening is the most important thing of what I can change, and how I can change, and how I can improve the way I’m living or interacting with others.
Toni: Do you see a correlation between how you explore your own potential, and also how that translates into others exploring theirs through your own inspiration?
Dr. Cindy: Yes. I definitely think so. I believe that we all … you know, that creative spark, that inspiration I think happens from inside your heart, your soul, and your mind. When all those three come together, it’s like that little spark. And when they all come together and you finally figure it out, it’s like a little flash and then that inspiration comes and then you do something about it.
Toni: Do you translate that thought to others that you’re working with? I mean, because what a great concept. And when you’re working with other parents and children, how often do you get to see that spark?
Dr. Cindy: You know, not as much as I would like or I would hope for, but what you can do is, you know, it’s really important for parents to allow their children to search their own souls and become who they are supposed to be – not who the parent is supposed to be.
One of the things I’ve seen is that so many parents live through their children and don’t allow their children to have that spark of creativity or to seek your own potential and what they’re good at and what works for them. Ao that’s why I would like to see that a little more often, that we need to teach parents and let kids be who they want to be, not who their parents want them to be.
Toni: What an interesting line I think that has come through this interview, which is that spark. Whether you are inspiring others as far as parents and children with the work that you do and having them realize that the parents, the spark is theirs; the children, their spark is theirs, not their parents.
Dr. Cindy: Exactly.
Toni: You know, to also what you do for yourself and what you did through being a breast cancer survivor, and how that’s sparked wellness in you and then for others. That’s what has happened through this entire interview.
Dr. Cindy: It’s been a metamorphosis.
Toni: There you go! See that; that’s fantastic, just absolutely lit up.
Dr. Cindy: There you go!
Toni: Well, Dr. Cindy, thank you so much for providing the information.
Dr. Cindy: My pleasure.
Toni: We will have a way for people to find out about your books and more about you at the bottom of the interview, and for showing up today we thank you so very much.
Dr. Cindy: Thank you, Toni. It’s been my honor. It’s a wonderful Project, and I wish you lots of luck on it.
Toni: Thank you.
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For more information about Dr. Cindy Nurik: drcindynurik.com, www.familiesbydesign.net
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