Day 240: Carol Stalcup
“I think that anytime that people feel more hope, then there’s something that sort of breaks loose in their hearts and their minds about what’s possible, and so doors begin to open or at least a little light begins to creep in. We see more clearly what’s out there in the world that’s possible when we feel hopeful.”
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Toni Reece: Thank you so much, Carol, for agreeing to be part of the Project, and before we begin, can you please introduce yourself?
Carol Stalcup: Certainly. I’m Carol Stalcup. I have been a psychologist for some 30 years and about 10 or 12 years ago became greatly interested in creativity and the role that creativity plays in people’s lives. And so that has evolved into a specialty in a variety of ways for me.
Toni: Carol, when you think of that word inspiration, who do you think you inspire, and how does that happen?
Carol: You know, I hope that I have inspired some people along the way. I have certainly been inspired by the people that I’ve worked with. One of the things that I try to do is to model an enthusiasm and an openness and a curiosity about life and experience of wonder and willingness to learn and to grow.
But I also think that sometimes people are inspired just by knowing that things can be done a different way or being asked the right question. So one of the things I try to do is to listen deeply and ask the right questions that get people’s curiosity going.
Toni: And by doing so, does that provide that level of inspiration on what they’re thinking about, what they’re doing?
Carol: I think that one key part of inspiration for anyone is going to be hope. You have to believe in the possibility of change and that there is a positive aspect of change. We spend a lot of times in our lives reacting to change we don’t want, so when we sort of make decisions about changes that we do want and begin to seek them one step at a time, I think the other thing besides having hope and being willing to change and try new things, people need to understand that the best things in life don’t happen overnight; they really are a step-by-step process. People need encouragement. They need to hear stories of people who have stuck with it and been persistent and overcome obstacles, to be inspired to know that you can’t do things right away.
I know lots of times when people start making art and they haven’t made art since they were children, they get very easily discouraged, because it doesn’t look like what they hope it would look, and just the information that there’s no reason to expect yourself to know how to draw if you haven’t been drawing for the last 20 years.
So a lot of what I do is educate people about the process of change and to ask the questions or point towards those things that lead to hope, because that provides the energy for change.
Toni: It’s incredibly important to me – and others who follow this Get Inspired! Project will have their own perspective on your interview – but for me, the most important word in the English language which is all over my office and my home is that word “hope,” and I haven’t had it said so eloquently as before in this interview, so thank you for that.
Carol: It’s something that I spend a lot of my life trying to elicit and to model.
Toni: When you use the word “hope” you said it’s the belief in the possibility of change?
Carol: Yes.
Toni: I like that. So how do you think by working with people in that way and delivering that type of a message, how does that then help them to explore their own potential?
Carol: I think that anytime that people feel more hope, then there’s something that sort of breaks loose in their hearts and their minds about what’s possible, and so doors begin to open or at least a little light begins to creep in. We see more clearly what’s out there in the world that’s possible when we feel hopeful. We are looking up instead of looking down at the ground, trying to work things out and working so hard to figure things out. So I think that when people feel hopeful, that they can take steps, they can change their lives, they can make things be different, they can impact others, they can encourage and offer hope to others.
Hope is one of those things that when you offer – and I’m not talking about false or easy hope like, you know “Pick yourself up, it’ll get better” you know – this is talking about authentic knowing and breaking through in small bits sometimes; just a little bit of light. Sometimes that just means getting someone to laugh, because if you’re laughing, you’re in the present moment. Sometimes it means saying, you know, “I have an idea about what you’re going through, although don’t know exactly, but I want you to know you’re not alone.” Simple things like that. Not platitudes, but authentic human encounters that say “I see you, I’m listening, it matters, I appreciate you, I know you’re trying. I expect things are possible.”
Toni: What inspires you, Carol?
Carol: I am really inspired, I have been for many years, by the stories that I have been told by the people that I work with in therapy and spiritual direction. People have such courage and such resilience and such creativity in dealing with life. It just amazes me. The course of my career has led me to be simply astounded by human beings, and I have become over time more and more willing to take the time in the everyday encounter. You know, people I meet when I’m waiting in line at the movie or at the grocery store or whatever – you can have a very short conversation that’s a very authentic, real exchange. So I am always inspired by just considering what people have shared with me. It’s been my great privilege.
I’m also really filled up by the beauty of a landscape or visual art, live theater, musical performance, a really good book, whether it’s fiction or not fiction. I just really want to keep my taking in of experience, broaden it, and those are the kinds of things that fill me up and inspire me and pique my curiosity and my exploration. Exploration and play is what fuels our creativity so often.
Toni: Where does your passion lie as far as the purpose? Is your purpose to bring that hope alive? Is that what it is?
Carol: You know, for many years I have felt that it was my purpose to help people find their hope. And I think as a psychologist, that has always been my primary goal, to listen deeply and to help people find their hope. But in recent years, I really feel like I have a mission to help people claim their creativity, to understand that creativity just belongs to everyone.
It’s part of the way we live whether, you know, we’re raising children or cooking good meals or painting or dancing, it flows out of us, and we can all claim it and be part of it. It doesn’t just belong to a few that have been identified as the talented or creative or artistic. It belongs to all of us.
Toni: How did you get here?
Carol: To this place of creativity?
Toni: Yes.
Carol: You know, I was one of those people that put it away. When I went … I always had these longings as a child, and when I went to graduate school I put it away. I thought “Well, you know, I’m not very creative. I can’t paint, I can’t dance, you know, but I think I’m creative with people so I’ll go there.” And it wasn’t until years later that I found out I was a painter just by saying yes to something and leaping into it, and then I really felt that I had found this missing piece of myself.
So seeing how that changed and then following the research in psychology about creativity and wellness and life satisfaction, it just has become the way that I want to practice and be in the world, and the message that I want to convey out there.
Toni: So the takeaway here as far as what inspires you that I’m getting is that you did put something so important away – you tucked it away, thinking that there wasn’t a possibility there until something came alive in you and you pursued that. And it’s now turned into a whole different area of not only satisfaction for you, but work.
Carol: It is; it is, and the writing and the painting that I do constantly is energizing and, as you said, making me feel more alive. But it makes me better at everything else. It makes me a better friend, it makes me a better psychologist, because anything I think that we do that adds to our wholeness – and creativity is a very big piece of that – then we’re simply going to be living differently and experiencing our lives and the people in them differently.
Toni: So what are you doing to explore your own potential?
Carol: Well, one of the things that I try to do is to have a variety of people in my support network to help encourage me in different ways. I want some people who make me laugh, I want some people who will give me critical feedback so I can improve, I want some people to give me unconditional support just because they see me struggling.
I want to practice my art and my writing in the context of a community of people where we’re all supporting each other and not, again, with just the kind of praise that doesn’t lead you anywhere, and even can set you up sometimes like “Well, everyone loved that painting, so I don’t think I better paint another one.” But really, this diverse feedback that you find in a community to explore yourself and creativity.
Toni: And so what’s in store for you in the future?
Carol: Well, I’ve been doing this internet radio show about creativity for a while, and it has been such a learning experience. I’d really like to do a lot more writing stimulated by those interviews and journey of that experience, and you know, keep encouraging people and keep encountering creativity in my own life.
Toni: Well, Carol, the information that you have given through this interview has just been amazing, and it really to me was an absolutely gorgeous interview. And I thank you very much for taking part in the Get Inspired! Project and sharing your information and who you inspire, but also what you need. Thank you for that.
Carol: Thank you. It was my privilege. I enjoyed it.
Toni: Well, we will have a way for people to check out your work and listen to your radio show at the end of this interview, and again, I thank you so much for being here.
Carol: Thanks.
Toni: Take care, Carol.
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For more information about Carol Stalcup: www.jumpstartyourdreams.us, wonderintowisdom.typepad.com/stargazing_stories, www.stargazingstories.us
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