Day 206: Wendy Fleming

April 24, 2010 at 12:01 am, Category: Inspiration

“You know, there’s a great quote by Buddha that says ‘It’s better to travel well than to arrive.’  I always say that; it’s the journey, it’s not the destination, and I look at every day that way.  It’s not what I have to cross off my to-do list or where I have to go or what errands.  It’s the journey along the way …”

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Toni Reece: Thank you so much, Wendy, for agreeing to be part of the Project today, and before we begin, can you please introduce yourself?

Wendy Fleming: Yeah, Toni, thank you so much, I’m very honored to be a part of this.  My name is Wendy Fleming, and I live in Las Vegas, Nevada, and I do several things, actually, hopefully, that are inspiring people.  I am a counselor, a coach.  I’m also a self-esteem trainer, motivational speaker, and a musician, so all those things lend itself to the art of inspiration.

Toni: Well thank you, Wendy.  When you think about inspiration, who do you inspire and how does that happen?

Wendy: Well, it happens through the clients that I have usually.  I’m a private counselor and then a coach, and I also do seminar work, which is a self-esteem training program that I developed.  I also developed an empowerment session for mostly women, but now it’s including men as well.  And then about 13 years ago, I developed a seminar for welfare recipients and traveled around the state of Michigan actually and gave that seminar to groups and counties for people who are receiving benefits to try to inspire them to learn how to live a bigger life.

Toni: I see.  So, learn how to live a bigger life – is that the main “how” that happens during the inspiration process that you do?

Wendy: I would say so.  I just really love to encourage people to kind of think outside of their own shell – I hate that word box – but outside of their own shell that they’ve created, and step out and see just how much life there really is that could be lived.  I have just always been that way myself and just a real positive thinker, and am just always amazed at how much bigger life can get when you do that.  So that’s always been my goal to empower people to do that.

Toni: Can you give an example of a transformation that might have occurred when you are working with someone or dealing with someone and you inspire them to live that bigger life?  Can you give an example of a bigger life?

Wendy: I think so.  The first thing that comes to mind is in Michigan there was a young woman who was receiving benefits and had two small children, single mom, on welfare for quite some time, and she came through my seminar.  At that point, it was a two-day seminar.  I just really talked to her privately as well about all the potential that she had, and she began to cry in the seminar and said no one had ever in her life told her that.  No one had ever told her that she could just be or do anything, and she said … she told me later that that day, something just unlocked in her and that she began to feel like she could really accomplish many things that she never thought she was going to be able to.

She finished her GED, went on to get a degree, and then to come off benefits altogether.  She actually won an award in Michigan for someone that made, you know, such a huge success, you know, from that program.  And in that award ceremony, she said that it was … the one thing that unlocked it was just one thing that I had said in that seminar, and that was, you know, “Dare to live this big life; don’t keep yourself down.  You’re your own jailer.”  And she just soared.

And so what I always say is … I may not say anything different, it just might be the timing.  You know, you say that when the student is ready to master or the teacher appears, and that’s what I just think that message is.  It’s nothing new under the sun, it’s just somebody actually telling you at the right time.

Toni: Thank you for that.  What a great example.  That lends itself, if not already answered the question, what you do to help other people explore their potential.  And when you think about that question and the work that you do, you know, you did use the word that you “unlock” and you “unblock” – what else do you think happens when you’re helping people to explore their own potential?

Wendy: I love to say that I don’t believe I’m an expert in anything, but if I am really good at one thing, it’s that I’m a great excavator, and that is I can see into people, into what they’re pushing aside and what their talents really are, and what their passions are.  And so I just keep kind of digging and probing and watching and listening and hearing, you know, what they’re very passionate about, and then that’s how they can kind of uncover their purpose and why they’re here.  So that’s what I always say – I’m just a really great excavator, so that would probably be it, yeah, that unlocking and excavating.

Toni: Now, Wendy, what inspires you?  What do you need to be inspired?

Wendy: That is such a great question.  I think the very first thing that came to mind for me is just people.  I love people’s stories and other people’s … but my friends are my greatest support and greatest joy.  I have this just incredible series of friends that span from all across the United States.

The other thing is I’ve been a musician, a performer, for about 34 years.  So I’ve been a singer, and I’ve lived in Japan a few times and traveled all over and sang, so music is probably one of my own great inspirations.  I just love music.  And laughter – I just find that adage is true, that, you know, laughter is the best medicine.  I love to laugh and find humor just in everyday life.  And then also, the ocean and the mountains.  I guess nature; I’m just really inspired by those things.  They really fulfill me.

Toni: Now you said that you’ve always been wired this way to help people, and to be a great excavator.  Have you always known that this was going to be your purpose?

Wendy: I think I did.  I think I knew from a really young age that whatever I did would probably be in the helping field, so when it took off and I started to be a singer, I thought “Well, that doesn’t feel really helpful” until people started saying “Oh my gosh, you just really moved me.”

I’m a plus-sized woman.  I’m also a body acceptance promoter, so I write for an online magazine about body acceptance called Hips and Curves, and that has always been something that’s been with me as well.  I think that having that … when people see a plus-size woman up … who loves herself and is comfortable in her skin up in front of people performing, I just think that can’t help but really charge and energize some people.

So when they started telling me “Oh my gosh, I just think you’re so brave,” and it’s like oh, well maybe this music thing is kind of inspiring.  But then it did lead to probably about 15 or 17 years ago to the speaking and doing some other training.  But I think that that musical background, that performing on stage all the time really gave me that passion to show other people that you can do anything – just anything.

Toni: It’s really cool when people like yourself speak to knowing that they were going to be heading in this direction, or this is the direction that they wanted to head into even at a young age, because so many of us are still searching for that purpose.  Maybe we’re on the fringe of it, maybe we’ve dabbled in something and we just haven’t stepped into the pool all the way yet, and it sounds as though you knew when you weren’t in the right pool, but it led you to the purpose eventually.

Wendy: I’m really quite a spiritual person, and I think that that quest for, you know, just trying to figure out my own purpose and making sure that I was living up to every challenge that I had been given, and, you know, to promote that welfare in other people.  I think that this was always the real driving factor.  Growing spiritually and personally has just always and will continue to be one of my greatest quests, because I just think you’re never done learning.  So whenever I learn something, then I’m ready immediately to pass it on.

So you’re so right about either knowing it when you’re young, or I have clients that come to me in their 60s saying “Something’s got to give – I need to really figure out how to get happier, how to live this bigger life, and I want that.”  So yeah, it’s ageless, too, when people can start to discover that.  It’s a beautiful process, actually.

Toni: And there are no boundaries.

Wendy: Zero.  Just zero; yeah, I love that.  And that’s what I tell people … “Oh my gosh, the only thing stopping you is you, so let’s just see how far we can go, how far you can push yourself.”  So, yeah …

Toni: One of the things that you said here, which is living up to … you know that you had to live up to your talents, and you knew what those talents were.  There is a lot of people that don’t recognize what their talents are, and it’s refreshing, actually, to hear you say “I knew what my talents were, and I knew that I was obligated to live up to those talents.”

Wendy: Thank you for saying that.  This whole … my whole life still continues to be this journey.  You know, there’s a great quote by Buddha that says “It’s better to travel well than to arrive.”  I always say that; it’s the journey, it’s not the destination, and I look at every day that way.  It’s not what I have to cross off my to-do list or where I have to go or what errands.  It’s the journey along the way, and it’s who I meet and who I get to talk to.

I find that most people really do know what their talents are.  Oftentimes, they’re just reluctant or afraid or shy about admitting them.  And I think once people really discover that, they get to really unlock a whole, whole other piece of their life that’s fabulous.

Toni: Now, how do you explore your own potential so that you can keep living this bigger life?

Wendy: Again, I think it’s that personal growth.  I continually am trying to look for ways to grow myself, whether it’s go to another seminar that someone else is giving.  I’m a voracious reader.  Because I’m a speaker, I’m always out in front of new people, so I get to hear their stories.  I think people just really charge and energize me.  So that’s probably it, not to mention again my friends who are just the backbone.

So we’re constantly looking for ways to improve ourselves, and that only can lend itself to helping others.  That’s when someone is feeling really low or down, I just say “Okay, you can feel that way, or you can reach out and help somebody else, because there’s always somebody that’s a little less fortunate than you.  So feel what you’re feeling, acknowledge that, but then move forward.”  So I think that for myself to just keep inspiring myself is to continue to help other people.

Toni: Wendy, thank you so very much  for taking part of the Get Inspired! Project and showing up today.  You’ve given some wonderful nuggets of inspiration in this interview, and we really appreciate that and thank you.

Wendy: Thank you so much.  Thank you.  Good luck with this beautiful Project.

Toni: Thank you.  Take care of yourself.

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For more information about Wendy Fleming:  www.curvyconfidential.com, croonerbabe@hotmail.com

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