Day 192: Dr. Carole Lieberman
“I look for things that I can’t do, and then I do them. You know, I sort of put myself out there to be given opportunities to do things. And even though part of me says ‘Are you kidding? You can’t do that!’ I somehow rise to the occasion to do it, and that’s very worthwhile.”
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Toni Reece: Thank you so much, Dr. Carole, for agreeing to be part of the Get Inspired! Project, and before we begin, can you please introduce yourself?
Dr. Carole Lieberman: Yes, I’m Dr. Carole Lieberman. I am a media psychiatrist in Beverly Hills, and I fancy myself as the modern-day Sigmund Freud, because just like Freud revolutionized the way the world thinks about psychology, I try to revolutionize the way the modern world thinks about all the crazy issues in our world.
I call myself … I say that I’m the doctor who helps you stay sane in an increasingly insane world, and that’s what I try to do. I try to bring my experience and my knowledge and … and, you know, all of the things that I’ve learned from books and from experience and patients, and all the different kinds of work that I do to help people cope with all the tremendous problems that there are in the world.
I ask myself every morning “What can I do, how can I best apply my talents as a psychiatrist to help people in this world,” and those are the kinds of issues that I address.
Toni: Well thank you for that. And when you think of that word inspiration, who do you think you inspire, and how does it happen?
Carole: Well I do a number of things, and I try to reach a number of different … when I was studying to be a psychiatrist, I always knew that I would never just sit in my office and see patients, you know, for a 40-hour week or however many hours. I wanted to reach more people.
And so of course I hope that I inspire and help my patients, but I try to have a global presence, and I do that by writing books and hosting a radio show and being on other people’s radio and television shows. And then of course at closer range, I try to inspire people that I meet, just everyday people that I meet.
Toni: And how do you inspire others? What happens? What happens when people listen to you or who are in your presence?
Carole: Well, of course, a lot of times people will ask about their particular problems, or they may not ask, but I offer comments. You know, they’ll say, oh, that they’re worrying about something or that they’re feeling sad about something, and I listen. You know, that’s one of … for the people who are close at hand, of course, that’s one of the things that I can offer to them. I’m not just talking about patients but just people who I meet. I try to be really sensitive and pick up on how people are feeling.
And then on a broader scale, you know, in terms of my media interviews and appearances, I tune in every morning. Every morning I look at the internet, and I check on what the news stories of the day are, and of course these days it’s just, you know, you couldn’t make up these things.
From one day to the next, there are things that are just more outrageous and more unspeakable and unthinkable, and I think to myself “What kinds of insights?” You know, the mainstream media talks about things in the news, but it’s more of a reporting or it’s more of an opinion. What I do is try to analyze all of the aspects of things that come up and look at how people will feel when they hear or watch or read about these events.
One of the things that I’m passionate about is terrorism, and so I wrote a book called Coping with Terrorism: Dreams Interrupted because my belief is that besides, you know … we haven’t recovered from 9/11, and there are acts of terrorism going on every single day all over the world. Not all of them are reported. Most of them aren’t reported by the mainstream media, but we are still impacted by the aftereffects of that incident, of 9/11, not just “we” in America but all over the world.
The idea that the sanctity of this country, you know … some kind of an attack that was never really envisioned, at least not seriously enough beforehand, and the choices that we’re making every day are still being impacted by the impact on our psyche of 9/11, so we may be choosing to have or not have relationships based on that. We may be choosing to go into long-term careers or take the short path, or just every day … or to stuff ourselves on comfort food. You know, there is this increase in obesity in our society. Well it’s no … it’s not a coincidence that this is happening after 9/11. There were fast food places before, all around, before 9/11.
We need … there’s so much anxiety. Of course the economy is another big issue. There is so much anxiety and depression in our society because of events occurring in the world and people feeling helpless to overcome this or to do something about this. And so what I try to do is give people an understanding of what’s really going on and what impact these things are having on their mind and how they can overcome these things to take action and actually feel self-empowered again to do something about that.
That’s essentially what I’m trying to inspire people to do, is to do something about the various problems that there are in the world. And the way that they need to do that is by first understanding the impact that all of these issues are having on them on a daily basis.
Toni: And by doing so, by you bringing light to that and by getting to the root of that, I would imagine then that answers the second question of the Project, which is how do you help others explore their potential? Because I would imagine that the potential could be blocked by the impact of not knowing how to resolve some of these issues that the news is causing.
Carole: Well, the first key to that is just the understanding. It’s amazing how when people understand why they’re feeling a certain way in reaction to something going on in the world, either, you know, globally or locally or in their own personal world, their family world. When people understand like why other people are doing what they’re doing or why they are reacting … I mean, it doesn’t have to be something as global as terrorism. It could be their spouse, or it could be their children.
But when they understand what’s really behind these actions that are hurtful … for example, you know, a spouse that does something that is really hurtful. Once people get an understanding of why people are doing what they do, then that opens the door to understanding the impact, and then that opens the door to being able to rise above it.
I mean, yes, of course, sometimes people need therapy. It’s not enough to hear someone on the radio or on television or read their self-help book. Sometimes, you know, they actually need … it’s serious enough where people need to be in therapy. But at the very least, these things that I do can at least open the doors.
I’ve written a book Bad Boys: Why We Love Them, How to Live with Them and When to Leave Them, and that is opening the doors for women to help them understand why they are in these kinds of relationships, why they keep getting into or staying in these kinds of relationships and being hurt from one day to the next. So by giving people insights, it’s the first step to getting them to then know what kind of action they should take.
Toni: What inspires you? What do you need to be inspired?
Carole: What inspires me is being reminded of people being in pain. When I see someone in pain — whether it’s a patient sitting in my office or whether it’s a family on a park bench, you know, who is obviously having problems, or whether it’s hearing of people being … long lines for food pantries, you know, just the reminders, the everyday reminders that there are people in pain — and when I feel that there is something I can do to help these people in pain, that’s what inspires me to keep going.
Toni: And when you think about yourself and inspiration and, you know, I’ve said a couple of times with some of these interviews if you wake up with a bad day, you know, and you’re going “Gosh, you know, I really could use a little inspiration here” for yourself to do the work that you’re doing, what do you tend to reach for? Are there things that you find yourself gravitating towards on a consistent basis to help inspire you?
Carole: Nature. I’m fortunate to live in Los Angeles where there’s lots of nature. I go ride my horse. I meditate. I find some inspirational videos or audios. You know, I just remind myself … I write in my gratitude journal. I remind myself that there are so many things that I should be grateful for, and that really does put the negative things in perspective.
Toni: A lot of us need to do that, don’t we, to remind ourselves of what we have and not what we don’t have?
Carole: Yes, absolutely. You know, it’s so hard to fight against the media that keeps telling us every day we don’t have enough, you know, that life is all about getting more toys, the one who dies with the most toys wins. And that is not it at all.
The problem is that so many of us, if we figure this out, it’s so late. You know, people think that it’s just about gathering more things and more status symbols, and it’s not about that at all. It’s really about the things that are free, you know, the relationships, the love, the family, the friendships, and doing for others, and that’s, you know … those are things that don’t have any status symbols on them, but those are the things that make you feel really good.
Toni: So what do you do to continuously explore your own potential so that you can keep doing the great work that you’re doing?
Carole: Challenges. I look for things that I can’t do, and then I do them. You know, I sort of put myself out there to be given opportunities to do things. And even though part of me says “Are you kidding? You can’t do that!” I somehow rise to the occasion to do it, and that’s very worthwhile. And at the same time, I keep trying to create an oasis of sanity for people. You know, I keep thinking that these are things that will create an oasis of sanity, and so I keep driving myself to do them, to work on them, to create these books or tapes or whatever it is that will help people to cope with these issues.
Toni: Have you created your own oasis of sanity that somehow spills over into the work that you are doing?
Carole: Well, I try. Those are the things that I was talking about before — nature, riding my horse, and meditation, and so on.
Toni: And it’s interesting how through the Project and a lot of our interviews that we’ve been doing there is a quote that comes out, and people have heard me say it over and over again, and I know those of you that are smiling out there that have heard me say that is that “We teach what we need to learn.” Does that apply to you at all?
Carole: Well, you know, in Coping with Terrorism, I have a whole chapter on what people need to do to find an oasis of sanity and so on to deal with the stress. And yes, by challenging myself every day to do more things and so on, it certainly is a stress-filled life, but it’s a good stress. But yes, you know, I did 365 tools to decrease stress, and yes I could do with doing more of them on a daily basis, just like my Bad Boys book. I talk about … I created twelve different types; I defined twelve different types of bad boys, and I admit in the introduction that I have been involved with at least one of every type, so yes, that’s one of the reasons why I am an authority on it.
Toni: Well that is a great piece of advice, it really is, and you have been wonderful in this interview and just with who you inspire, what you’re trying to do by bringing that oasis of sanity into this world is just … it’s a really interesting approach to that. And we will have a link of how people can check out your books and check out your site at the bottom of this interview, and we can’t thank you enough for being part of the Get Inspired! Project.
Carole: Well thank you, and I think this Project is fabulous, so I do hope that it multiplies.
Toni: Thank you, and take care of yourself, Dr. Carole.
Carole: Thank you.
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For more information about Dr. Carole Lieberman: drcarole.com
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User Comments
Beverley HillsTherapist
On June 3, 2010 at 2:44 pm
So enlightening! love it!
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