Day 158: Marian Hobson
“… we push ourselves to get up that mountain, whatever mountain it is, and we never … we don’t allow ourselves to go back down as low because we stop. We recognize as we’re going back in the valley, ‘No, I’ve got to go back up,’ and we make that decision.”
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Toni Reece: Thank you so much, Marian, for agreeing to be part of the Project toda,y and before we begin, can you please introduce yourself?
Marian Hobson: Certainly. I am Marian Hobson, and I’m a business and relationship coach, and I work out of my hometown in Asheville, North Carolina.
Toni: Well thank you, Marian. Let’s go right to the first question. When you think about the word inspiration, who do you inspire and how do you do that?
Marian: You know, when I first heard that question, Toni, my initial reaction is inspire everyone! I certainly hope that everyone I meet is inspired by me, but I realize that that’s not always possible, so I do actually have a more specific answer in that my mission is really to inspire parents and to lead them and guide them in harmonizing their lives — both their income-generating part of their life as well as their mission to raise productive children. So I show them how they can, by taking care of themselves first, they can actually help their children.
It’s kind of like how the airplane speech has changed, you know, the safety speech where they used to say do children first and then you, and I think that that’s a critical way to look at our lives, especially as parents. If we first take care of ourselves and our own needs, then we can meet the needs of our children better.
Toni: I see. So who you inspire would be the people that you … the parents that you coach who, you know, also I would imagine this would not only lend themselves to building better relationships with their children, but also have a healthier relationship with themselves; that’s what I’m hearing.
Marian: With themselves and with their spouse, right.
Toni: Right, okay. Now by working with people this way and inspiring people this way, how do you think it helps them to explore their own potential?
Marian: Well, that actually is a day-to-day process for everyone, I know, but actually it comes down to when you’re focusing on yourself first, you are meeting your own potential better, and … darn it, I’m sorry …
Toni: That’s okay.
Marian: I wrote that question down differently, so …
Toni: But let’s think about it this way … if you were … I’m going to be working with you, and I know that I need a whole lot of help getting my life in balance. What would that do for me as far as exploring my potential in other areas? How would you help me to do that?
Marian: Right. Well, you know, it starts with exploring your potential just in your inner self and coming to know yourself through a process of doing exercises and meditations to know yourself emotionally and spiritually. And then by that … use that to energize yourself in creating a bigger business, creating a greater income. And then as you have taken care of yourself and nurtured yourself in those ways, you can explore how to reach out to the rest of the world. So it’s a step-by-step process where we look at all areas of your life.
Toni: It sounds really interesting, that really just kind of reflecting what’s all about me so that I can figure that out in order to work well with others.
Marian: Right; and it also helps you to determine what other people you work well with, because you cannot meet your full potential if you’re surrounded by people who drag you down and suck the energy out of you, basically.
You know, another thing that I do, Toni, that’s probably different than anybody else, is I purposely try to play the devil’s advocate for the people that I’m working with to help them see the opposite of where their life is today.
Toni: Can you give me an example of that?
Marian: Yeah. For instance, I had a client who has just started a new relationship and, you know, she’s in that excitement and in that energy. She’s been a single mom for several years and was just so excited for this new relationship. And while I honored that and was excited for her, I also purposely took her back and played the devil’s advocate of exploring the negative of this person to make sure that she really was seeing it before she got so far in that, you know, she’s made commitments and not ready to get out of that relationship.
Toni: I see. So, Marian, with the work that you do with others, let’s talk about you. What do you need to be inspired? What inspires you?
Marian: You know, anything can inspire me. I had a woodpecker knocking on my tree outside my window today, and when I took the moment, I thought “You know what? That’s it – I need to really get my head around this problem, you know and really put my head into it.”
Another day I saw a squirrel and he was just sitting there, and then all of a sudden, in less than 30 seconds, he was through a fence that had no hole in it as far as I could see and he went into another yard. And so it inspired me to keep looking for those unobvious holes to get through my problems and past.
I guess what that boils down to, Toni, is that to get inspired, I have to take a moment to say “Okay, how can I be inspired by what’s going on around me?”
Toni: It’s to be aware. It’s almost forcing yourself to be aware of what’s going on.
Marian: Right; and another thing, for me – I have to have repetition.
Toni: Repetition?
Marian: Yes. To really be inspired, to really get it into me and to make it a part of me, I have to have it happen over and over.
Toni: Oh, okay. Certain events happen over and over, or it is affirmations?
Marian: All of the above.
Toni: Okay, okay. So when you might be at a place, Marian, where you’re going “Gosh, you know, I really could use some inspiration right now” — maybe you’re at a low point — do you find yourself reaching for the same things to kind of help fill that up again?
Marian: Yes and no. I … when I find something that inspires me, I make a point to expose myself to it over and over and over. Like if I have a favorite book, I’ll read it all the way through and then I’ll leave it on my nightstand, actually, and periodically over the next few weeks just open a part of it and read it. But as far as going out and seeking the same things over and over, that’s not what I do. Sometimes it comes to me over and over again. Usually when I need inspiration, I ask for it. And when something shows up say “Okay, is this what I was looking for?”
Toni: And so, have you always been this pretty … it seems pretty practical and “This is what we need to do, this is what we need to do over and over again. This is how I need to work with the parents I work with, with harmonizing their lives and getting everything in balance” and keeping yourself in balance. Has that always been the way you’ve viewed things?
Marian: No.
Toni: Those people that are … there’s many people that are listening to your interview and reading your transcript, and they may be at a place where they want to get to where you are. So would there be a little bit of learning that you can let someone know how you got to this place?
Marian: Yeah, you know, it all starts with one decision, that I need something better. I find that we all go through hills and valleys in our life, and when we’re at those low points and when we’re at those valleys making that decision “I need something better, I need something to get me back up that mountain,” it takes that.
But you know, this is actually something I learned from my father many, many years ago. He said “Yes, everybody goes through hills and valleys, but the sign of a person who is truly progressing in life is that their valleys are lower and their mountains are higher.” So we push ourselves to get up that mountain, whatever mountain it is, and we never … we don’t allow ourselves to go back down as low because we stop. We recognize as we’re going back in the valley, “No, I’ve got to go back up,” and we make that decision.
Toni: Well thank you for that. Marian, what do you need to keep exploring your own potential?
Marian: Toni, I seek for new beginnings, and I’m personally by nature a procrastinator. And so because of that, I have in my life … I set up deadlines for when I’m going to get this done, and then I also set up new beginnings. Because once I’m done with that, I have to say “I’m done with that, so now let’s start something new.” Whether that’s a new day, a new week, or just a new project. If something is successful, of course I stay with it, but if it’s not, I like to create new beginnings.
Toni: Around anything?
Marian: Yeah.
Toni: Yeah. Do you correlate your own need to create new beginnings into the work you do with others?
Marian: I do.
Toni: And how do you do that?
Marian: Well, part of it just starts with that philosophy of, you know, every day is a new beginning. My past is my past, and while I can use it to learn lessons about myself, I’m going to leave it in the past. My future is my future, and I can create a new future by taking this day in a new perspective, you know?
Toni: You know what’s really interesting, Marian, is that I just made this connection between what you said inspires you to the work that you do, but one of the things you said inspires you is repetition, and you said it a couple of times that you need repetition and that what you need to explore your own potential is to seek new beginnings, which again is the repetition of the new beginning.
And that’s what you do for others is that promise of the new beginning if you get your act together and figure out who you are and what you need, and that promise can be on a daily basis. I just heard that whole connection through this interview. The repetition you need to the new beginnings, the repetition of that, to how you serve others. That’s pretty cool.
Marian: Thank you.
Toni: You’re welcome. Well thank you so very much for coming to the table today and sharing your story with us and how you inspire others, but also what you need. I know there’s a lot of takeaways here that people will gain value from, and we can’t thank you enough for that.
Marian: Certainly. I appreciate it.
Toni: Thank you, Marian.
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For more information about Marian Hobson: www.urcalm.com/coach.html
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