Day 140: Karen Kramer

February 17, 2010 at 12:01 am, Category: Inspiration

“It’s being open to something like ‘Oh, I never thought of that, and I need to.’  It brightens up the moment.  It brightens up the next day.  Being aware that any door can open, and even if it’s ajar –and it probably will never be more than ajar, because it’s up to us to push it open and walk through.”

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Toni Reece: Thank you so much, Karen, for joining us today on the Project, and before we begin, can you introduce yourself?

Karen Kramer: Sure.  My name is Karen Kramer, and I’m a wife and mother of two.  I’ve been in the marketing and communications field for nearly three decades – I don’t like saying it that way, maybe I need to rethink how I put that, but …

Toni: Oh, just for a bit.

Karen: Yeah.  Three years ago I received my certification in life coaching.

Toni: Okay, congratulations.

Karen: Thank you.

Toni: So Karen, when you think about that word inspiration, who do you inspire and how do you do that?

Karen: You know, Toni, when we originally talked about this, just talking about this interview, I think I might have even mentioned to you, oh my gosh, what a profound question because I think that many of us don’t even think about who we inspire.  We just do things the best way we know how to do it, and we give advice and we offer our support.

So thinking about this, I would like to think that I totally inspire my children.  I know that I do my daughter who is in her fourth year of college and 21, a little bit more insightful than my 18-year-old son just with the fact that she listens.  I’m able to share with her some of my experiences so that she doesn’t make maybe the same mistake.

And I know that it’s important to make our own mistakes because we only learn from that, but she’s getting to the point now where she has her friends at college calling me when there’s a challenge or something going on just to kind of talk them through it in a very relaxed and supporting way.  So that’s kind of my proof that I’ve offered a little inspiration to her.

Toni: So it’s through listening, your daughter listening and following your example and so forth that you believe that that’s where the inspiration goes.

Karen: Yes.

Toni: So what about in professional life?  Do you believe that there’s people that you’ve inspired along the way?

Karen: Oh, yeah.  As I said before, I’m a life coach, so just from my coaching practice I have seen so many things happen, and what happens … I mean, these people are doing it on their own, but it’s just pulling out what is best in them that they don’t see.   I feel that that’s an inspiration; just talking things through, having people say some things out loud, and just listening on my end — whether it’s through my business or friends or family –  just listening.  And so often people figure it out on their own, just saying it out loud and just knowing that they have an ear.

Toni: Right, right.

Karen: So it kind of happens day in and day out throughout.  I am such a people believer.  There’s something very, very special about everyone, and sometimes you gotta look a little bit to find that.  It can take a little patience, but everybody has something to offer.  And unfortunately when you look at yourself, very often that just gets pushed down a little bit, and it’s just bringing that out and, in turn, that is inspirational for me as well.

Toni: What do you think you do to help explore the potential in others?

Karen: Well, you know, sometimes it’s listing and naming all the good things about a person, about a challenge, about a thing — whatever is bothering them or worrying them — and then just bringing it into perspective.  And what I like to do … through all the years of experience and my making mistakes and learning finally has come wisdom.  It’s taking a bird’s eye view of a situation and bringing it down to baby steps and looking at it — even if it’s a day or two later than when something happens so that the emotion is out of it, the anger is out of it, whatever it is that you’re feeling, and seeing it for what it is — and then breaking it down and taking things into baby steps so that you see “Oh my gosh, I can do something about this, and I don’t have to do it all at once.”  Go on …

Toni: No, no, no … so I’m hearing that as far as exploring potential in others that it’s almost like you allow people to put a name to what’s troubling them, to be able to say it out loud, put it out there, put a name to it, describe it so that unraveling can begin.

Karen: Exactly.  You know, it all comes down to just knowing your gut and trusting yourself and allowing yourself to trust yourself and giving yourself permission to do that.  I mean, we all have choices and discovering what those facts … lay out the facts.  Now you can make a choice whether or not you want to do something about what’s laying in front of you.

I read a very interesting article just the other day about happiness, and a psychologist has written an article about a happiness set point.  I don’t know if you’ve heard of it, but it’s so intriguing to me because what he says is that 50% of our happiness is genetic.  We just get what we get — 10% is conditional – it’s life.  Life happens, up and down, stuff happens.

But the other 40% is totally and completely controlled by us, each and every one of us.  You have 40% of your happiness, and you can decide what you want to do with that.  Do you want to be happy or don’t you?  Do you want to look at things positively or not?  Do you want to seize the opportunity?  Do you want to look for the little things that happen?  And that, to me, just laid the whole … puts everything in perspective.  We’ve got 40% that we can work with.

Toni: That’s pretty good – that’s a pretty good percentage, isn’t it?

Karen: Yes it is, yes it is.

Toni: Well, so Karen, what do you need to be inspired?

Karen: You know what inspires me, Toni?  All the little things.  All the little tiny … you know, someone opening a door for me because my hands are full or someone smiling or seeing someone help someone else.  Just any little bit of support helping anybody is such a good feeling.

And I could be having a down day, and you go out and someone just does something so small, and that person has no idea how they just brightened your day.  And I remember that going into every day.  I remember that, and I try to do that.  I try and instill that in my kids to do that but, again, it comes from all these years of experience which have turned into wisdom, so …

Toni: And I heard the word kindness.  I mean, that’s the way that you’ve … that’s the word that I believe you defined that inspires you, which are those little things and people doing things for each other, and so it’s the acts of kindness that seem to really inspire you.

Karen: Absolutely.  By one another; just seeing it from one another and the amount of support that we can give one another just through that just amazes me every day.

Toni: Are there tools or methods that you tend to reach for when you know oh man, you know, “It’s time for me to fill myself up; I can feel it, I can use a little inspiration right now”?

Karen: Yeah, yeah.  Long walks.  Some inspirational readings.  I have something that I read from time to time.  Friendships.  Friendship, girls night out, anything to do with friendship and support.  I think that is so very, very important that we need to have an outside support system, women and men.  And unfortunately, not too many men do that, but I gain so much energy and laughter from my friends.

And all of a sudden what I was maybe really kind of worrying about or needed a boost in something or know that there’s something else out there – what is it?  All of a sudden I feel a little bit more light, and the next day my proof might be right in front of me, and there it is.

So definitely friendships, time alone, a little soul searching, being honest with myself, writing things down, and the ultimate — and I’ve done this — is heading to the ocean because the ocean never stops changing and it’s a crude, rude, sweet reminder that life is always changing and roll with it.

Think of ways that we can make it work for us.  Instead of yearning for the past — what was — it isn’t anymore, so we just need to look at things a little differently; and that is always a huge reminder for me.

Toni: So how do you continue to explore your own potential so that you can continue to do the work that you do or to be inspired the way that you are?  What is it that you need to do to explore that potential?

Karen: You know, very often it’s just being around other people.  Coaching clients, I have learned so much from them, maybe sometimes even more.  I’m learning more from them than they’re even learning from me, or that they have no idea what they’re sharing with me.  That can take me by leaps and bounds.  The little things, again.

It’s being open to something like “Oh, I never thought of that, and I need to.”  It brightens up the moment.  It brightens up the next day.  Being aware that any door can open, and even if it’s ajar –and it probably will never be more than ajar, because it’s up to us to push it open and walk through.

Stepping out of that comfort zone is always difficult, but it’s the only way we grow.  So I will make a list of things that I need to change for me and then, like in little baby steps, decide how I’m going to do that and then do everything I can to do that.  So I don’t know if I even answered your question there.

Toni: No, you did.

Karen: There are so many things that pull together that inspire me.

Toni: Well I think you did a really good job at putting that in perspective, that what inspires you are these random acts of kindness –s or not even random — but the acts of kindness and then how you take care of yourself with the long walks and the readings that you do, but also the support system that you put into place and that’s around you.

And that you explore your own potential by again learning from, most likely, the support system that’s around you and learning form the people that you work with.  And I think, you know, that may tie very nicely back to how you explore potential in others which is helping them, as well, using your wisdom, your experience that you’ve gained from this support system to give permission to others to deal with the facts and move forward.  I think … that’s what I heard you say.

Karen: That’s very good.  I’m so glad that you heard … I guess to kind of … there’s a few things that I tell the kids, I tell friends, when it comes to it — although never quite always in this order — but you know, there’s always something special in someone, and there’s always two sides to every story and you owe it to yourself and to whoever that you’re listening to to know that and to learn that.

Trust your gut.  Your happiness is up to you.  You choose to do with it what you want, and if you choose not to be happy, then that’s on you – it’s no one else’s fault.

Toni: Well I think you said it brilliantly at the very beginning of the interview which is that you are a people believer and that is what you’re trying to … the message that you’re trying to teach your children as well is to be a people believer, and that’s awesome.

Karen, you’ve given a lot of insight into such a short amount of time for this interview, and people that are reading and listening to these interviews from all over the world … some of the interviews people will go “Yeah, I can relate to that” or “Wow, I’m going to try that”, and that’s been what you’ve been part of today.  And for that and everyone here at the Get Inspired! Project, we thank you so much for being part of this today.

Karen: Well, thank you so much.  I enjoyed talking with you.

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For more information about Karen Kramer:  www.AllAboutPossibilities.com

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