Day 121: Emma Alvarez Gibson

January 29, 2010 at 12:01 am, Category: Inspiration

“We all have fears, and I don’t think that there’s ever going to be a point where things don’t scare us.  But doing it anyway, doing it scared — whatever it may be, whatever it is that is crucial at that moment — I think is just super-inspiring because it’s kind of like once you’ve defeated that, there’s really not a lot that you can’t do.”

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Toni Reece: Thank you so much, Emma, for agreeing to be part of the Project, and before we begin, can you please introduce yourself?

Emma Alvarez Gibson: Thank you, Toni.  My name is Emma Alvarez Gibson, and I’m a writer, to keep it simple.

Toni: Okay.  Well, Emma, when you think about that word inspiration, who do you inspire and how do you do that?

Emma: You know, I don’t know how well I succeed at that, but I’ll tell you what I aim for.  I aim to inspire in some small way everybody that I come in contact with, and I don’t mean that in a Pollyanna sort of “Yay, planet Earth” sort of way.  I just think that people that really feel that they are seen for who they are, they don’t feel acknowledged so much of the time, and something as simple as just making eye contact and smiling at the person next to you in line when you’re at the post office or what have you, I try to bring that level of acknowledgement to all of my interactions with people whether it’s my husband and my son or, as I said, just somebody at the post office.

I try to make people feel acknowledged, because I think that something very powerful happens when we feel acknowledged.  I think we stop … There’s a struggle that stops happening and allows us to focus more on output.

Toni: That’s interesting that it allows people to focus on the output, because the next question would be what do you think you do to help explore the potential in others?

Emma: I think that I provide a safe space for people.  I think that I give people room to be themselves and to think about their possibility without a whole lot of restrictions on it.  One of the most fun things I get to do in my business is encourage people to really be true to themselves.  I do a lot of branding work, and so what I do is I have a questionnaire that I give people and I ask them, you know … they’re all questions that focus on who the person is and what the real message is.

I think it’s very common for us not to really know exactly what it is we’re putting out there, and sometimes it doesn’t match what we want.  And so sort of within that space I get to say “Look, here’s what you’re putting out, and here’s what you’re saying you want, but they kind of don’t match, so let’s align that.”  And that, to me, is like the best feeling in the world.

I try to do that with all of my loved ones, all of my friends, you know?  “Hey, what is it that’s core of what you want and what you’re after and what you have to offer?”  And I don’t think that that can be explored without a sense of safety, so that’s what I try to provide.

Toni: So you introduced yourself as a writer and then you also said you help people do branding.  Can you give me just a little bit of information?  What do you write?  What is it that you write about?

Emma: I write anything, really.  I do advertising, I do websites, I do taglines, I write for Long Beach Magazine here in Los Angeles.  I write fiction.  Really, the only things I don’t enjoy writing are research papers and hyperbole.  The one bores me and the other one I just think is immoral.

Toni: Okay.  So it’s really interesting as a writer and thinking of that word inspiration and how you inspire others — which really does translate and help someone explore their potential — is I heard you say that you help them formulate into words what they’re all about.

Emma: Yes.  In my day job, yes, that’s what I do, exactly.  Words are so powerful.

Toni: Right.  That’s really a great job, isn’t it?  It sounds like it’s a great job.

Emma: I love it.  I just love it.

Toni: So Emma, then how do you come at that word inspiration?  What inspires you?

Emma: I’m really inspired by people who are not swayed by fear.  We all have fears, and I don’t think that there’s ever going to be a point where things don’t scare us.  But doing it anyway, doing it scared — whatever it may be, whatever it is that is crucial at that moment — I think is just super-inspiring because it’s kind of like once you’ve defeated that, there’s really not a lot that you can’t do.

I’m also really inspired by people who don’t box themselves in.  Two of my favorite artists, which if anybody spends more than five minutes following me on Twitter on reading my blog they may roll their eyes at this, but Neil Finn and Nick Cave, two singer/songwriters with extraordinarily long careers.

In particular, Nick Cave has this incredible depth and breadth of a career which includes songwriting and singing and acting and being a musician and writing a film and writing scores for films and publishing a couple of novels.  I love the idea that we can just continue to put work out there and to express ourselves in all these different arenas without having to really sensor how it’s done or without having to box ourselves in.  I love that.

I find that so inspiring, and I try to live my life in a similar way and not sort of put blinders on myself so that I keep plodding forward and doing the same thing over and over again.  I think we start to die a little bit when we do that.

Toni: If I can go back to the very first thing that you said as far as what inspires you, which is not to be swayed by fear and to keep doing it even though you’re scared.  I think that’s a very powerful statement as well.  Have you experienced that?  Have you in your journey, whether personally or professionally, have you actually done that, that you’ve been inspired by your own going through fear or is it really just seeing what other people have done?

Emma: I don’t think that my working through my own fear necessarily inspires me.  I think it’s … after the fact I see it as “Okay, here’s another great tool that I’ve got now in my toolbox.”  I am somebody who I think maybe has more fear than a lot of other people do.  I’m one of these highly sensitive people and, although I can be quite extroverted, I’m also painfully shy sometimes, and it sorts of creeps up unexpectedly.

I literally … I have days where it literally scares me to pick up the telephone or to leave my house.  I’ve also been diabetic since the age of 10, and I was terrified of shots and needles and all of that when I was first diagnosed.  There have been a lot of instances in my life where very, very, very frightening things have happened, and I just have to walk through them.  I just have to.

Like I said, I don’t necessarily find it inspiring.  I find it comforting, because I think to myself with each new situation “Well, I’ve certainly done this before.”

Toni: Right, and it allows you to keep moving.

Emma: Exactly.

Toni: So when you find yourself needing that inspiration and to maybe fill yourself up again, are there certain things you find yourself reaching for?  Are there tools, books,  music?  Well, you did speak to some music, but are there other things that you reach for as well?

Emma: Yeah, absolutely.  My family.  My husband and my son, they’re such lovely people, and they ground me and they make me feel very safe and very complete.  I am a Christian, so I always reach for the Bible, particularly the gospel of Luke, which I named my son Luke.

I do quite a bit of sort of just collaging for fun.  There’s a book that I keep where I paste in different images and text that I love, and I arrange that.  I find that really soothing.  I play guitar.  I knit.  I really enjoy cooking.

It just sort of depends on which sense I’m missing.  With the job that I do now, I am in my head a lot of the time.  So when I need inspiration, I find that I really needed to disengage from that, and I need to do something physical, whether it’s exercise or sometimes I feel like I need to create physically with my hands instead of with words in my head.  And so that’s when I’ll do some knitting or some collaging or something.  Something that’s a little more tactile.

Toni: That’s a great piece of advice, though, for others as well is that those of us who are in our heads a lot — which I can so relate to that — that you need to disengage in something that’s completely different so that you give yourself that cleared space.

Let me ask you as far as your own potential, what do you need and what do you do that you continue to explore your own potential?

Emma: What do I need and what do I do?  Well, I have a few long-term goals, and one of them is to publish a book of short stories, and that’s something that I’m constantly working toward.  They need to be finished, first of all.  But I decided this year is the year that I really approach that seriously and either get it done or check it off the list and go on to something else.  I’m not sure I’m answering the question correctly.  Am I?

Toni: Well, it’s what you do when you think about what you do for others, when you talked about other people and you said that you provide a safe space for people to imagine their own possibilities and be true to themselves.  And so when you’re working on your own potential, what do you have to do to continue to learn and to grow and to move in the direction so that you can help others?

Emma: Oh,  okay.

Toni: And also yourself, to grow yourself into serving your own purpose more and more and more?

Emma: Yes, okay.  I need a lot of alone time.  I need to be able to just either think about things or sort of sit quietly and not think about things.  I’m very easily overwhelmed by sights and sounds and basically any sort of stimulus, and so I need to be able to disconnect so that I can think clearly.

I very much need the people in my life that I’ve come to rely on so much for love, for feedback, for, you know, complete and utter honesty.  I recently wrote about this group of people and I said “Look, these are the people that have seen all my ugly sides and decided that I was worth it anyway.  These are the people I can call at three in the morning and they’ll sit up from a dead sleep if I need them.  They’re the people that’ll say ‘Look, I adore you, but you need to just man up and get over this.’”  I desperately need those people.

I need to maintain a certain level of physical health as well.  I think I mentioned that I’m diabetic, and so I sort of have to be extra vigilant about a whole lot of things.

I think last but not least, I need to trust myself and my own abilities more.  It’s helped me immensely.  I think it’s taken the better part of a year for me to really start thinking of myself as a writing professional.  And it’s strange now that I didn’t, that it took this long, but it did, and things have only improved since I’ve been able to sort of reach that conclusion in my own head, my own heart.

Toni: And thank goodness you did, because with what you’ve spoken about as far as how you inspire others and what you do for people that you provide … you take what they want to say and you help to brand them, you help people to see their own possibilities.  But yet what you’re saying is that it’s taken you a long time to realize that you’re also working within what you thought was possible for you, and now that self-belief is stronger in you, so I would imagine that then gets translated to the people that you’re working with.

Emma: I hope so.  I hope that it does.

Toni: I would imagine that it does.  You have been incredibly frank and honest in this interview and helpful to those who might also be experiencing self-doubt or wondering whether … calling themselves something but not really sure that’s what they should be calling themselves and might need your help having been through what you’ve been through and what you’re doing today for others.  We will give your contact information at the bottom of this interview.  And I appreciate tremendously what you’ve shared with us today.

Emma: Thank you so much, Toni.  What a great experience.  I really appreciate it.

Toni: Fantastic.  Thank you, Emma.  Take care of yourself.

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For more information about Emma Alvarez Gibson:  www.emmaalvarezgibson.com, www.twitter.com/ealvarezgibson, emma@litmusstudio.com
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