Day 117: Denise Taylor

January 25, 2010 at 12:01 am, Category: Inspiration

“… what I do in throwing that brick and trying to tap into the potential of others is if I hear them say ‘I have to’ and sometimes it’s not real easy, again, to step outside my comfort zone and offer it, but that’s one of the things that God’s working on for me is to do it because it will bless them if they embrace it.  There’s nobody that can’t take the complaint and turn it into a gratitude by saying ‘I get to.’”

.

.

Right click here to download…

.

Toni Reece: Thank you so much, Denise, for agreeing to be part of the Project today, and before we begin, can you please introduce yourself?

Denise Taylor: I am a married mother of five.  My husband, John, and I have four living children.  We live in Sellersburg, Indiana.  I am the author of Heavenly Birth and an inspirational speaker.

Toni: Well thank you.  When you think of that word inspired, who do you think you inspire and how do you go about that?

Denise: Well, I say this with complete humility, for everything I do, I do with the strength, light, and grace of God because I am nothing on my own but everything that I allow Him to be.  Because of the story that He’s written for me, I think I’m able to inspire many just by sharing a story; certainly those that are struggling with illness or sorrow, doubt, adversity.

Toni: How do you get your message out there?  How do you talk about these things?  How do people get inspired by you?

Denise: Well, I started blogging when my daughter, Jonnae, relapsed with her leukemia, initially to update family and friends on her status.  But through the course of her journey with leukemia, we had learned many powerful practices and strategies and strength that comes with faith, and I started sharing that in a daily blog.

That’s how it really all began.  Speaking opportunities were presented to me for people who read my writing, and after Jonnae’s heavenly birth in June of 2008, the blogging that I did that last nine months of her life, I worked to produce a book.  And I’m just working on seeing where that takes me from here and giving that inspiration and encouragement that I’ve found and wanted to share it and not just hold it.

Toni: Well thank you for that, Denise.  With what you’ve been through and everybody that will be reading this interview — they are not going to quite understand except for the information that you’re giving what you have been through — but as you were going through the personal journey with your daughter and actually what you’re going through now in a professional way, what do you think that this does to help other people explore the potential within themselves?

Denise: I read a story once about a successful businessman, fast-paced life, driving his new Jaguar through a subdivision and a child hit his car with a brick.  He was irate and got out and was screaming at the child, and the little boy proceeded to let him know that his brother was on the sidewalk and had fallen out of his wheelchair and no one would slow down to help him.

The businessman started crying these tears as he was awakened to realize that he needed to slow down and appreciate life, and it’s not all being about himself, but to pay attention to the others around him when they need him.

I feel like leukemia was my brick that I got hit with.  The book and my speaking and challenges that come up now even represent the dent in my car.  The man never fixed the dent in his car that that child created with that brick because he did not want to forget the lessons that he learned.  I don’t want to forget those lessons that I’ve learned either.  I have drawn on that pain.

Just a couple months before Jonnae and I left for her bone marrow transplant, we watched The Ultimate Gift. And as we watched it and the grandfather in that movie said “Learning is a gift, even when pain is the teacher.”  I had the girls pause and rewind that like three or four times, because it just resonated with me instantly and I found it to be so profound.  Pain is a wonderful teacher.

I think I throw the brick at people to tap into that potential that they have.  I kind of listen to that inner voice, that divine guidance.  And when I’m asked to step outside my comfort zone and throw a brick, I do, because I believe – well, I know – that I’ve been blessed by the brick that I’ve been hit with, so I just offer it in that way.

Toni: What a wonderful story you’ve just shared.  That is incredibly inspiring in itself.  When you think about that word inspiration for yourself, what do you need?  What do you need to be inspired, to stay inspired, to keep promoting that message and the things that you’ve learned along this way?

Denise: Well, Jonnae and I learned the power of word exchanges, where there are words that pop up, almost like I have a radar now that picks up the word of a victim and “need” is one of them.

So, what I need when I go to answer that question, if I’m thinking about what I need, I know the answer is always going to be the same.  All I really need is God.  There are things that I want or that I would like to have, so knowing the power of words just from that, just that reflection that I really don’t need anything, that I already have it, that God’s not going anywhere.  That in itself gives me strength and inspires me, but what I like and what I look for are the powerful words of others when they are translating their story, whether it’s written or spoken.

That’s what is so wonderful about the Get Inspired! Project is I don’t need to look very far.  There are stories in abundance if we just choose to look to those who are also overcoming obstacles or choosing to be the victor over the victim.  So I surround myself with those examples and consider myself to be one, too, so that we can all grow and be inspired by each other.

Toni: That’s fantastic.  I know with everything that you’ve spoken about so far … are their other types of tools that you reach for to stay inspired, or methodologies that you reach for, that you find yourself drawn to as well when you need to fill yourself up, when you know that you’re running maybe a little low?

Denise: Absolutely.  I love to work out.  I know that I need to change up the routine occasionally to work new muscles or to get stronger, so I believe that I have a lot of tools that I draw on and I’m looking for new ones.

One of the ones that’s almost a guarantee and foolproof is to not say “I have to,” but say “I get to.”  To take the complaint and, again, that victim and you transform it and turn it into victor.

I learned that again with Jonnae.  The most powerful example I had from her.  She didn’t say “I have to have chemo.”  And it’s when she was getting sick in the bathroom and we were getting ready to go get more and she was crying, and I heard myself say “I believe this is when we say we get to have chemo.”

As I said it, I thought it sounded absurd, and I almost expected her to hit me or to get mad or something.  Because in that state, you know, sometimes you don’t know if you can embrace, if you can buck up and grab that positive attitude.  But together we tried to figure out how we could believe that we get to have chemo, and so we realized that we have a diagnosis so we know where to start when so many don’t, and we get to have chemo.  We have insurance, and we have a way to get that medical help that we need, so we get to have chemo.

Just from that experience in itself, we started trying it more and more.  I’ve gotten practice when I was planning her funeral in hearing myself say “I have to bury a child.”  That radar went off, and I could hear this dialogue going in my head “I want to say I get to, but I just don’t even know how to find it,” and I heard that voice say “You get to release her into God’s hands.”

I had a power that day, and so what I do in throwing that brick and trying to tap into the potential of others is if I hear them say “I have to” and sometimes it’s not real easy, again, to step outside my comfort zone and offer it, but that’s one of the things that God’s working on for me is to do it because it will bless them if they embrace it.  There’s nobody that can’t take the complaint and turn it into a gratitude by saying “I get to.”

Somebody posted on Facebook yesterday about us being a society of hustle and rush, but we have a tendency to wait in lines all the time.  One of the things that happened with me and waiting and pulling out that tool of “I get to” is I was getting frustrated that what I thought was going to be a 30-minute wait for a cell phone ended up being like two hours.  And I looked down and saw my bracelet and thought “Unbelievable.  Even with Jonnae and the day of her funeral, the power of ‘I get to,’ I still need to be reminded that I get to wait on this cell phone when I’ve waited for her to take her last breath.  And I did that with more patience and grace than I’m doing right now.”

That changed my life forever as far as a wait having any power over me.  I don’t get frustrated over it anymore because of that day.  I’ve gotten feedback when sharing this story or this perspective how it’s helped others with not having to go to work but realizing they get to because they have a job and so many would love to have one.  I kind of teasingly say “The grass is always greener,” but a lot of times we forget to give thanks that we have grass at all.

Toni: Right, exactly.  I’ll tell you what, Denise, I know that people that are listening to the Get Inspired! Project and have been following it, there have been some unbelievable people on this Project with, as you’ve said, an abundance of stories, and some of the stories are harder for me to listen to than others, and yours is one of them.  It is amazing, and I think the gift that you just gave everybody today, which is turning the “I have to” into the “I get to” is very powerful.  And I want to just go back to one of the things that you said as far as the bracelet.  What did you mean by bracelet?

Denise: I have wristbands, you know, the little … like they have the rubber wristbands like the Live Strong – they’re all over the place, the little rubber reminders.

Toni: Right.

Denise: On my website, there’s a place to order “We Get To” bands, and I just pass those out when I speak and in groups and maybe just as I run across somebody that says it and I can give them the one I’m wearing.  This is a reminder, because we have a tendency to forget that it’s that workout again.  You just need to pull it out and practice.  You can build a strong bicep, but it’s not going to maintain and stay without practice.  And the “We Get To” wristbands is kind of a way of reminding us to practice that gratitude; you know, strengthen that gratitude muscle.

Toni: So how do you then, Denise, continue to explore your own potential so that you can keep growing and moving and inspiring people with the stories that you are sharing and the message that you are sharing?  What are you doing to continue to explore your own potential?

Denise: Remaining open to the lessons that I’ve not even touched on in God’s classroom, for one.  I look at the dent every day.  When I wake up in the morning, I know that I cannot go on and don’t have the strength to do what I’m called to do without God being that strength for me.

I look at the dent.  I reflect on where I’ve been, all the falls that I’ve made, the blessings that they brought, the strength that they brought.  I use analogies all the time.  I love to work out in the gym, I’ve already mentioned that, and God is the best personal trainer.

Again, the answer is always going to be the same — that I just need God.  He will bring out that potential in me.  When we work out sometimes — and I’m still one of those that believes no pain, no gain — and those lessons are brought to us through the pain.  I’m the first to admit that I’m not a quiet person.  I’ll cry when God is taking me through a difficult workout that I know just the tenacity of the spirit is really strong, and I will not quit.  I’ve challenged people.

That’s another thing that I do to bring out their potential.  I challenge them to strengthen their “I will not quit” muscle.  Push yourself every day to do something you want to quit, just to give yourself the chance to say “This is when I’m going to strengthen my ‘I will not quit’ muscle.”  I guess I just push myself in ways that are going to be difficult where I can strengthen the “I will not quit” muscle, when I can strengthen the gratitude muscle, and so I can build as strong of a spiritual body as I have a physical body.

Toni: Denise, you have been an absolute joy to interview and to talk to, and I know that there is so much power in this interview.  I wrote down the words “it’s not even realized yet” — that it’s not even realized how powerful you are and the message that you bring.  And so if we can help in any way get that message out there, we are committed to do that.

So I thank you so very, very much for you giving your time today to the Get Inspired! Project, and we will have a link to your book and a link to how people can get a hold of you at the bottom of your Project page.  So thank you so very much for your time.

Denise: Oh no, thank you.  This is going to be at the top of my gratitude journal today.  I’ve really enjoyed this, and I thank you for the opportunity to get to an audience that I wouldn’t have otherwise.  Thank you so much.

Toni: Thank you, Denise.  Hopefully we will talk again.

Denise: Absolutely.  I’m looking forward to it.

___________________________________________________________

For more information about Denise Taylor:  www.wegetto.com

.