Day 112: Jeff Woytovich

January 20, 2010 at 12:01 am, Category: Inspiration

“… my inspiration now is my daughter, Madison, not because she’s any more special than my other three daughters, but because she has no hair on her body and she goes about life as if she has an afro and she has totally inspired me to the point where she is actually my hero.”

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Toni Reece: Thank you so much Jeff, for agreeing to take part in the Project today, and before we go into the questions, can you please introduce yourself?

Jeff Woytovich: My name is Jeff Woytovich.

Toni: Jeff, what do you do?

Jeff: I have my hand in a bunch of things.  I am the founder of the Children’s Alopecia Project as well as helping Care for Cora, and cofounder of the Circle of Life Coalition.  I’ve worked in the senior healthcare industry for 15 years and very active in the community.

Toni: Well thank you for that.  Now, when you think of the word inspiration, Jeff, who do you think you inspire and how do you do that?

Jeff: I think first and foremost, I try to inspire my children.  I think that’s my main job on earth is to make sure that my children have a foundation to build upon in the directions that they want to go, and hopefully I can help them by inspiring to be better people.

I think that the most important part of being a parent is to make sure that your children have a direction, and I think the only way that your children can have a direction is to follow the examples of their mother and their father.  I try very hard to stay active and to do things that hopefully they look at and they know that it’s a direction that they want to go, to be an advocate for this or that, to be followed in your beliefs and to not back down from anyone else who is countering those beliefs and to stay true to themselves.

It’s my inspiration to have four daughters that will move forward in life learning the things that I’ve instilled in them to go out on their own and inspire others.

Toni: When you talk about inspiration in that way, particularly with such passion about your children, do you do that as well in your professional life?  Do you believe that you inspire others in that similar way professionally?

Jeff: From the standpoint of my nonprofit involvement, I think a little bit of what we all do if we volunteer for anything is, of course, we want to volunteer for the cause because it’s important to us.  But I think deep down inside we all want to inspire somebody else to jump in and join the team and move forward with this mission or this cause.

I think that when it comes to the Children’s Alopecia Project, I want to inspire others to become more involved.  I want them to understand that this is a little disease and there’s little known about it, and we want to make sure that people move forward in the same direction that I want them to move forward because of how I’m motivated, because of how I’ve been inspired. I want to inspire others to continue moving forward, and I want them to inspire others, and so on.  I want this to be a good virus, basically.

Toni: You want to get a little contagious, don’t you?

Jeff: Absolutely.

Toni: When you work with others as well with your family and you believe that your intention is to inspire and to motivate to be better people and to set that foundation, what do you do then that you believe helps — whether they’re professional or personal relationships — explore their potential by inspiring them in this way?  How does it help them explore their potential?

Jeff: I believe in total transparency. I believe that … and along with the transparency, you need to be totally honest even during the rough spots.  I think that by being totally honest and giving the individual what they need, they have the opportunity to move forward and inspire.

I use the words “move forward” a lot.  It sounds redundant sometimes, but I really mean it when I say move forward, because that’s the only direction anyone should ever move.  If you move laterally, you’re never accomplishing anything.  If you move backwards, then of course you know where you’re going to end up; you’re going to end up in the back.

So moving forward is so important that I think that you instill the inspiration for someone to accomplish by inspiring them to move forward.  And I think a big part of that is to be honest and be totally transparent and to actually give the person what they actually need – not what you think they need, not what you think they want — but actually give them the tools to actually be successful, which … I don’t know, I think that inspires everyone once they become successful.

Toni: Let me just ask you to clarify something for the people who are reading this and listening to your interview.  What’s your definition of being totally transparent?

Jeff: I’ll give you an example.

Toni: Okay.

Jeff: If my 12-year-old daughter wants to know about the birds and the bees, I actually don’t discuss the birds and the bees.  I actually explain to her what it is to be a 14-year-old boy looking to be with a 14-year-old girl, and I make sure that she understands exactly what that entails.

Would most parents be that transparent and that honest with their daughter?  I don’t know; I would hope so.  But all I know is that the only way that my daughter is going to move forward with boys is to actually be educated and to know the truth about what boys want and even what some girls want and what is and is not appropriate and what is and is not accepted.

She can make the decisions based on being totally informed, because her father was totally honest and transparent on the issue of sex.  That’s an example I use because it just happened.  So, it’s something that was difficult but needed to be done, and it needed to be done in the right way, in my opinion.  And the right way is always to be totally honest, because I want my children to be honest with me, and the only way that they’re ever going to be honest with me is if I’m honest with them.

Toni: Thank you for that clarification.  That was very important.  Now, Jeff, let me ask you.  When you need to be inspired, what do you do?  What do you seek out for inspiration?

Jeff: I seek out positive people.  Probably the biggest influence in my life was my grandfather.  He was born in 1890.  He immigrated to the United States in 1911, and I lived with him for the rest of his life.  He was illiterate in Italian; he was illiterate in English.  He was someone that was always the manual laborer.  He never obtained anything outside of having children and working hard.  So, his name is not on a building, there’s no plaques, there’s nothing dedicated to him.  He pretty much lived a very anonymous life.

However, he was pretty much my largest inspiration to be the person I am today because he taught me so many great stories in the way of metaphors.  The one thing that he instilled in me is to be inspired to be a better person.  One thing he always wanted me to do was to be a good boy, and he didn’t have to explain it, he didn’t have to dictate to me as to what a good boy is.  By his stories, by him inspiring me to be a good boy, inspired me to be a good boy.  That basically means doing the right thing, being honest, and taking care of the people that you love and you’re in charge of.

That was pretty much my largest inspiration.  He passed away a few years back, but my inspiration now is my daughter, Madison, not because she’s any more special than my other three daughters, but because she has no hair on her body and she goes about life as if she has an afro and she has totally inspired me to the point where she is actually my hero.

Toni: That’s amazing.  When you are talking about inspiration in this way, people that are used to reading these interviews, they know that there’s certain words and phrases that come to my head when I’m talking to someone, and I just wrote down for you that that it’s living by the Golden Rules, and that’s what I heard through your grandfather and your daughter as your hero.

Jeff, when you know that it’s time and you’re feeling that you need to fill that bucket up, and you’re looking for additional inspiration so that you can continue to inspire, are there tools or resources that you might reach for so that you can continue to fill that bucket for yourself?

Jeff: You know, I know this is going to sound a little corny, but when I actually see something … something as simple as a car driving in front of me and there’s a trash can that blew out into the road, and I see another person get out of their car, go out into the street, pick up the trash can and put it up on the curb, get back in their car and then drive.  That individual is looking for no pat on the back, they weren’t really that concerned with their car, but they probably were more concerned about what would happen to the cars behind them if this trash can would blow out in front of another car and cause an accident.

That’s the kind of stuff that inspires me.  The simple stuff that some people might overlook on a daily basis because everyone’s so busy and they’re hurrying to this place or that place and they’re not concentrating on the things that are happening around them.  I get inspired by the things that no one notices.  The subtle nuances of people’s personality.

What I do is … it’s kind of like you have a drained battery and throughout the day you have little sparks of inspiration that happen all around you, and those are the things that continuously charge my battery.  If I stop looking for that, my battery’s going to run dead, and I think it’s harder to recharge a dead battery because then you have to look for all the big things in life.  And those big things don’t happen all the time, so you have to look for the little things that will help you throughout the day, and I constantly look for that.

Toni: How do you explore your own potential, Jeff, so that you can keep moving forward?

Jeff: The thing that you said about The Golden Rule is something that I really live by.  I modified it a little bit.  It’s “do unto others as you would like others to do unto your children.”  It separates a little bit about yourself.

Sure, I want to do nice things for other people, because I want other people to do nice things for me.  But if I’m treating them the same way I want them to treat my children, then I’m going above and beyond what normal Golden Rule believers are practicing, because I’m bringing my children into it.  I want everyone to be nice to my children, so I want to treat them equally as well as I would want them to treat my children.

The most important aspect of moving forward is to continuously live by The Golden Rule, whether it be the traditional Golden Rule or my modified version, and then you just get the inspiration and you pick up all the positive vibrations from everything that’s going on around you on a daily basis.  Recharge your battery and then move forward.

Toni: So that recharging of your battery is really the key to you being aware and not missing those random acts of kindness that aren’t looking for recognition, the small gestures that blow you away, people living by that Golden Rule, or your modified Golden Rule, that those are the acts that move you forward and help you to continue to explore your own potential; that’s what I’m hearing you say.

Jeff: Yeah.  I think too many people in the world want to be perfect.  I think they want to be 100% whatever they want to be, and I think that’s a great goal.  I think that everyone should want to be the best that they can be in any direction.  I think you should want to be the best parent, the best student, the best mentor, the best businessperson; however, I have never accomplished 100% in my life.

My goal is to get to 50% every single day.  And when you really think about the things that you do on a daily basis, it’s tough sometimes, because there’s negative things all around you.  You’re reading negative news.  You’re seeing negative news.  You’re hearing negative things.  Rumors, tabloids, the whole nine yards.  It’s really hard to move forward in such a media muck.  So, I try and get to 50%.

Then, once I get to 50%, I know it’s going to be easier to get over half good.  Then I get to 51%, and then I got it.  I know that I’m doing good today.  Now my goal is to continue moving forward.  I want to get to 60%, then 65%.  But very rarely on a daily basis, because I am just a human being trying to do the right thing, I have lots of failures.

So to ever get to 100% means I’ve just reached total enlightenment, and I don’t expect to ever find total enlightenment.  I want to continue on a daily basis to strive to get to total enlightenment.  If you’re a Christian, you want to be as Christ-like as you can possibly be, but you’ll never be Christ.  That’s my whole mantra.  I want to be perfect, but I know I’m never going to be perfect, but it’s my pursuit on a daily basis to get there.

Toni: It’s amazing the things that you have shared with me today that will benefit others who read and listen to this interview, and you know, you spoke of communicating the truth and being transparent with your children.  It sounds as though that’s also something that you do for yourself by being truthful, by knowing that you may have only gotten to 50% today and maybe 51% tomorrow, and it sounds like that truth in being positive and aware and communication is completely very, very important to you in what you do and then how you give it back.  That’s what I’ve heard today in this interview.

Jeff: Well, listen.  I can tell you that I’m 5’ 9”, I have a full head of hair, and I’m very handsome.  But in reality, I’m short, fat, and bald because 5’ 9” is not very tall, and yes I do have a full head of hair, but you know what?  I have more around the sides and back than I have on top.  Actually, if my head was a demographic, I would have an urban area on the sides and the back and on top would be the rural areas.  I’m not totally obese, but I’m no skinny spring chicken, either.

It’s all based on perception.  If I tell you something, then that’s going to be the opinion that you’re making in your mind.  But the reality of it is the truth is the truth, and I can’t get away from it.  So, if visually I can’t get away from the truth, then why verbally or written down would I get off the page?  It is what it is, and I make the best of what I have.

Toni: This is a great lesson to leave the interview with, and I cannot thank you enough for your honesty and humor, but also commitment and conviction that you have shared today with what you’re doing, not only for your children, but your nonprofits and the work that you do.  Thank you so very much, Jeff, for being part of this Project today.

Jeff: You’re welcome.  Thank you for having me.

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For more information about Jeff Woytovich:  www.childrensalopeciaproject.org, www.CircleofLifeCoalition.org, jefferywoytovich@yahoo.com

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