Day 91: Karen Chantler
“I always like to try and make people laugh if possible, because I love that look on people’s faces just as the humor starts to break through, particularly if it’s in a serious situation where really they don’t feel it’s appropriate – ‘We can’t possibly laugh at this.’”
.
.
Right click here to download…
.
Toni Reece: Thank you so much, Karen, for agreeing to be part of this Project. Before we begin, can you please introduce yourself?
Karen Chantler: Yes. Hi, I’m Karen Chantler, and I’ve known Toni for not very long but am really looking forward to this interview as part of this Project.
Toni: Oh, thank you. When you think about that word inspiration, Karen, who do you think you inspire and how do you do that?
Karen: Well, I thought long and hard when I had to look at that question, and I don’t consciously set out to inspire people. Basically, I see my role in life as trying to help people see the simple solutions to whatever it is that they’re facing. Sometimes, people say actually, “Yeah, I feel really good after that”, and they feel inspired to do something different. But it’s not something that I consciously set out to do.
Toni: With you working with people or even in your relationships, do you do that consciously then to help people unravel what they’re going through to make it a bit simpler? Do you find yourself doing that even in personal relationships?
Karen: Yeah, it’s just something that I tend to do automatically when people are describing situations or problems to me. I can’t help myself. I’m sitting there thinking “Ah, well, the simple way through that could be ….” You just offer a different perspective, and sometimes it works for people.
Toni: How do you think providing a different perspective or simplifying things for people, how do you think that that helps them to explore their potential?
Karen: Because I think sometimes we all are guilty of getting bogged down in too much detail. You know that phrase “you can’t see the wood for the trees?” Sometimes people forget to just lift their head up and look at the horizon. And quite often that horizon is a lot more attractive than you think it is, and that’s the coast to head for.
Toni: Can you give me an example, Karen, of how you might help somebody do that?
Karen: Most of the time it’s listening to what they’re saying, listening to their problem, and then just asking them simple questions like “If you did something different, what would it give you?” Or something along the lines of “What would be your ideal solution? If this wasn’t happening to you right now, what would you be doing instead?”
I find that those questions actually make people stop and think quite a lot, because most of the time people don’t want to be in the difficult situation that they’re in. It’s just helping them find a way to look around it, if nothing else. Because if you can give people just a few brief minutes of respite from their issues, they often find the strength to actually move on and deal with them a lot more effectively than maybe they would have done otherwise.
Toni: It sounds to me like there’s a bit of a distraction going on, that when you are talking to someone or working with someone and helping them unravel what they are going through, that you almost provide a distraction from their troubles by asking them to think in a different way. By having you do that with them … they probably can’t do that on their own very easy. By having you do that sounds like a pretty cool way to start to unravel. Is that what you’re doing?
Karen: Yeah, absolutely. To be honest, Toni, most of my life I’ve played the fool because I find that if you can get people to laugh then actually things don’t seem quite so bad. Once you can get them laughing, you can almost see the pressure begin to lift right in front of you, and they know it too, and it does make them deal with things in a completely different way.
Toni: That’s fantastic. Now, let’s talk about you and inspiration. What do you need, Karen, to be inspired?
Karen: For me, again, it’s something that I thought long and hard about. I need to be around people that actually care about others and that have a sense of humor because, again, if you can find the humor; and you can find it in most things, actually. There are very few situations … however tragic they might appear, there are very few situations where you can’t actually raise a smile somewhere; and to actually get me to smile makes a big difference for me.
I look for people that can make me smile or, even better, make me laugh. That way, that’s a big inspiration for me because it just provides that lift enough to move on to the next bit.
Toni: Are there tools or resources that when you know that you’ve reached that point where you’re like “You know what, I have to fill myself up. I need to be inspired.” And I know that being around people with a sense of humor is important to you, but are there other things that you reach for when you’re looking for inspiration?
Karen: Yeah. I reach for music. I’ve got a couple pieces of music that I’ll put on. It’s usually best if I do that in the car, because the volume can go right up then and you don’t upset the neighbors. So yeah, I resort to listening to music as well, because I find that a real uplift, too.
Toni: Are there books that you are drawn to for inspiration?
Karen: I’m a huge, avid reader, and I’ve always got at least three books on the go. One tends to be some kind of mystery type novel because that’s pure escapism for me.
Another one is often about somebody’s life and the things that they’ve dealt with because, again, that shows you how different people have dealt with different situations.
And then I’ve usually got one on the go that is so light it tends to be almost back to childhood; like a Harry Potter novel, for example. I’ve very rarely got just one book on the go.
Toni: Karen, did you always come to the table with that sense of humor and knowing that you wanted to, like you said, you play the fool so that you can get people to almost disarm them and work with them, but that means you have to be very positive yourself – were you always that way?
Karen: Yeah. Well, I think I’ve always been able to play the fool in different situations. I always like to try and make people laugh if possible, because I love that look on people’s faces just as the humor starts to break through, particularly if it’s in a serious situation where really they don’t feel it’s appropriate – “We can’t possibly laugh at this.” When you can see that little twinkle coming to their eyes, that’s the bit that I really love.
But no, it’s not how I’ve always been. For many years I suffered from clinical depression, and that does kind of put the dampener on sense of humor in life.
Toni: So going through that I would imagine — and coming to the other side of that to manage it, to have that sense of humor and to be around people that are happy — I would imagine that that’s pretty inspirational.
Karen: Yeah. You tend to find that laughter is very infectious; far more so than sadness, to be honest. If you’re constantly sad or unhappy, suddenly you look around and you think “Where did everybody go then?”
Toni: What a great way to put that!
Karen: If you can make them laugh, they will stay with you.
Toni: How do you explore your own potential, Karen?
Karen: Mainly by trying different things. I love to get involved in things that I’ve not done before. If I look at my working life — the coaching that I’m doing, for example — I deal with all sorts of individuals and companies as well that take me into realms that you sit there and you’re almost open-mouthed thinking “My God, I didn’t know this went on.” Various industries that you come across; I find that exciting.
Learning something new as often as possible. I try and do it every day. It doesn’t always happen, but yeah, most days I can go to bed comfortable in the knowledge that “Yep, I’ve picked up something different today.”
Toni: Are there are technologies or strategies that you tend to reach for when you’re going “Okay, today’s the day I have to learn something new” or to hone your craft or maybe look at another direction? Do you find yourself drawn to certain things?
Karen: Yeah. I’m a great internet explorer. I’ll get on the internet looking usually for something thinking “Oh yes, I’ll soon find an answer to that” and maybe three hours later I’m thinking “I’ve learned so much, but I don’t know that I’ve solved the question that I originally came for, so we better get back to that.”
It’s rather like reading a book and doing a bit of research. I love that bit because you just get deeper and deeper into the subject.
Toni: It’s almost like opening one door after another after another, yeah … I can so relate to that. When you look at how you stay inspired and what you need for inspiration as far and as long as how you explore your own potential, how do you see that all connecting to what you do for others?
Karen: I see it as … if I can find out about a particular subject or I can maintain the thirst for knowledge and the thirst for something different in my life, that actually just keeps me on the edge.
If I can stay sharp, hopefully I will then be able to say to people, “Okay, tell me about you” and I will be genuinely interested. Not the, “Go on and tell me about you, because I’m about to do some coaching with you” or “I’ve got to ask this question because it’s what you’re expecting.”
I genuinely like to find out about people; find out how they tick and what makes a difference to them.
Toni: That’s a great way to describe that, because that is exactly how you described what you do to explore your own potential, which is that research and that learning and opening those different doors, but yet doing it with humor or looking for ways to make you smile. So I can only imagine how that would remain very authentic in the work that you do with others. That’s a great way to describe that.
Karen: Yeah, and I think that’s a very fair way of putting it, because people are very quick to detect when you’re not actually being genuine. And you can’t afford to let people think that, and so it’s important when you’re talking to people, look them straight in the eye and for them to know that you’re actually listening. And that always makes a big difference to people.
Toni: Whether it’s in your personal life or your professional life.
Karen: Absolutely, yeah.
Toni: Karen, I think that has been a great lesson in your interview today, and you can hear it coming from you in this interview. So those that are listening or reading your transcript will really get that sense of authenticity that you bring to the table, and I think that’s a great lesson for people to take away from this. So, for your time today with the Get Inspired! Project, I can’t thank you enough.
Karen: It’s been a real pleasure.
___________________________________________________________
For more information about Karen Chantler: karen.chantler@btconnect.com
.
Post Comment