Day 45: Mali Phonpadith

November 14, 2009 at 12:01 am, Category: Inspiration

“… taking the path to implement or to take the right steps to implement some of these goals becomes more real when you share them verbally and express them, and the hardest part is to do that; get to that point where you can say, ‘Okay, I can now articulate what it is that I want, what it is that I need’ and now be able to ask for help to get there.”

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Toni Reece: Mali, thank you so much for agreeing to do this interview with us today, and before we begin with the questions, can you introduce yourself?

Mali Phonpadith: Sure.  My name is Mali Phonpadith.  I actually have two businesses.  One is an insurance practice with Northwestern Mutual, where I do a lot of risk management strategies for individuals, families, and business owners, and the other business is Reflections Within, which basically takes my poetry and creates powerful prose for international images that my photographer/business partner takes throughout the world.

Toni: Okay.

Mali: We have a new greeting card line.

Toni: You do?  What is the greeting card line?

Mali: It’s Reflections Within greeting cards, high-end cards, with her powerful images and original prose by me.

Toni: Okay.  Thank you for that.

Mali: You’re welcome.

Toni: Mali, when you think about the work that you do — whether it’s the prose that you write or the work that you do, even personally — when you think about inspiration, who do you inspire and how do you do that?

Mali: For me personally, I like to think of inspiring one individual at a time, because I think each person truly makes a difference in the world, whether it’s one person’s world or the world as a whole.  And so when I think of the type of people I like to inspire, it’s those truly that have either walked similar paths or going through an experience that I have already walked through to support them.  So that could really relate to some of my personal experiences of loss — which I’ve had multiple in the span of the last six years — and just kind of helping people either through poetry or through discussions such as the types that I have with my life insurance clients or disability and long-term care, of all the things that could happen every day, and how to get people through those difficult times, not only financially but emotionally.

Toni: When you work with people and dealing with people just one individual at a time, how do you go about this?  How do you go about inspiring these people?

Mali: Well, it comes down to really just asking a lot of poignant questions, you know?  The way that I work is I always ask for favorable introductions and ask people to send me those extraordinary people in their lives that they care about; so once I sit in front of somebody, it’s really nice because the walls have already come down.  I’ve been kind of introduced in and really get to the heart of the matter.  What is it that motivates them?  What is it that inspires them?  What is it that they are scared or concerned about?  Just listen, really, to the things that matter most, and then be able to share my own personal experience or story, and it really comes down for me to empathy.

You know, being able to look at each other and say “Wow, that matters to you?  Well, that matters to me”, and “How can I support you to reach some of the things that you may not have thought were possible?”  And just really listening; truly, truly listening for the right emotions, the right words, the right — I guess in the spirit of sharing — how comfortable they are to reach some of the goals and live the life that they wish to live and protect the people that they love around them.

Toni: When you’re working with people like this — and again whether it’s professionally or personally and you’re dealing day-to-day — how do you think you might help people explore their own potential?

Mali: Asking those tough questions.  You know, people don’t like to talk about really deep heart-of-the-matter issues.  It’s not as easy when you’re kind of protecting yourself or protecting those around you, and I think being able to look at someone and say “It’s safe here.  I’m not coming from a place of judgment.  Some of the experiences or some of the fears you have, I own them myself.  Some of the paths that you have walked, I have walked too or am walking currently.”

And so for me I think it’s really just a matter of challenging them to be honest with themselves and then being able to verbalize that and say it out loud.  Because once you say it out loud, you know, people are listening.  The universe is listening, and it becomes more real.  And so taking the path to implement or to take the right steps to implement some of these goals becomes more real when you share them verbally and express them, and the hardest part is to do that; get to that point where you can say, “Okay, I can now articulate what it is that I want, what it is that I need” and now be able to ask for help to get there.

Toni: So exploring their potential is really the first place to start, is to get them to speak out loud what those deep heart matters are so that they can move forward with you.

Mali: Absolutely.  And in some cases to write them down because, as a writer myself, it’s easier for me to write my thoughts and my emotions down than sometimes it is to articulate.  But once it’s put out there from outside of your mind and your body and your spirit and onto either a piece of paper or onto the computer or verbally spoken, there is a slight shift in attitude that happens.  It’s almost like you have to step into your own purpose now, now that you’ve announced it.

Toni: When you are seeking inspiration for yourself, Mali, where do you go?  What do you need to be inspired?

Mali: I do a lot of meditation.  I like alone time when things around me are spinning, so I will either take a long walk or I’ll journal.  And my channel has always been my writing, so when I’m frustrated or scared or thrilled about something and I don’t know what to do with my emotions, I’m always with a pad and paper or writing things out.

My biggest inspiration, though, comes from looking at the little things in my life that make me feel good and happy and make me feel safe and alive, and usually it’s things that surround my family.  That’s where I find the biggest inspiration is thinking about the life that my family has lived, my grandmother, my mother, all the things that my father has done to lead me to this place where I really understand that I have all that I need.  There are a lot of wants out there, but I have all that I need.

Toni: How do you get to that place?

Mali: Really, it’s sometimes tough, but I have to think about … Sometimes I even have to put it down on a list and write it out, but a lot of times it’s just thinking, “Okay, well right now my heart might be broken or my world might be really dark, and I may not feel like there’s a light at the end of the tunnel”, but I know that based on what I’ve seen and based on the people that are around me and what they’ve experienced, I kind of think about, well, things could always be worse.

And people are going through tough times out there all over the world, and it takes a lot of effort because a lot of times we get to that dark place.  We’re always thinking, “Woe is me.  Why does this happen to me?  How could this be, and why is my life so horrible?”  For me, when I get to that place, I don’t like staying there very long, because I know that in the big picture, there’s so many great things that I do have.

I have a gratitude log, and in that gratitude log — I usually do it at nighttime before I go to sleep — I pick a beautiful journal that represents me.  So when I look at it, I see myself or it resembles me somehow, and I go to it every night and I write down, before I got to sleep, three gifts of the day.  And that forces me to think of all the positives and only the positive things that has happened throughout the day or that I’ve been “given” throughout the day.  And so when I lay my head on the pillow and go to sleep, I’m left with only the positive thoughts of the day and I can kind of put the negative thoughts behind me, and that’s really helped me every day with that practice.  And when I have tough times, I can go to that gratitude log and remind myself of all the amazing things that I do have, because that’s the only thing that I’ll write down in that gratitude log.

Toni: Mali, when you’re seeking the inspiration — and you’ve provided many ways that you do that thought mediation, journaling, your gratitude log, those are great tools that you are going to be sharing with others as far as how you seek inspiration as well — how do you take these tools, or just what you do for yourself, and use them to help you explore your potential or other things that you may do or seek to continuously explore your own potential?

Mali: The biggest step for me, quite frankly, is sharing the things that I’m doing for myself which has been such a big transition in my mind.  Everything that I’ve done in the past has always been to help me through all of the things that I have got to go through, therapy.  My writing has always been something that has helped me release, and I put it in my dresser drawer.  But I realize that as I get older and with my life experiences that I’m not living and I’m not doing and I’m not exploring these “gifts” only for me.  I need to be able to share and perhaps help others get to a place where they can feel comfortable in their own skin with their own unique special talents or through their ways of channeling, and then express these feelings and explore their true potential by sharing, because it’s in the sharing where people know what you’re looking for or asking for help, which is such a big deal.

I have never really been good at that, and I’m practicing that every day by sharing and by posting some of my poetry and reading them at different opportunities and venues and having my friends come to read and share my work with others.  That’s really allowing me to step into my purpose, like I said earlier, you know, saying it out loud and putting it out there.  It’s forcing me to step into my purpose, because now I’m getting these wonderful notes or messages, whether through email or letters or even verbally, saying, “Mali, wow, by you sharing your processing and the way that you are getting to that better place through your difficult times, I actually want to share too, and I actually think this is the way for me to better express myself and release and heal.”  And so when I get that type of validation, it really is allowing me to see that wow, I really am stepping into my purpose and this is leading me to that true potential, you know, practicing the sharing and also practicing the asking for help.

Toni: Which, as you said, is not something that came natural to you.

Mali: No; it’s still not.

Toni: Oh my goodness … I like the way that you said that, and I wrote it down here, that as you explore your potential, the number one thing you said is the sharing and sharing what you need as far as also what you’re looking for so others can feel safe enough to ask the same.  But what I wrote down here as well is that you used to put your journal back in a drawer, but you’ve taken it out of the drawer, haven’t you?

Mali: I have.

Toni: You’ve taken it out and you’ve published it in order to find your own sense of purpose.  That’s what I heard you say and that’s helping you to explore your own potential as well as probably feeling inspiration.

Mali: It actually is.  You know, it’s a total mind shift for me.  Before, I would just do it for me in the privacy of my own space and where I felt safe, usually late at night when I’m deeply moved by an experience, and I’ll just write it and then that will be it and I’ll put it away, and it really didn’t do much for me in terms of healing except that I just put it on a piece of paper.  But for whatever reason, when I started sharing it or reading it — I slowly started sharing it with friends, just reading it to them — and then when they were moved by it, they really encouraged me, like my ninth grade English teacher encouraged me to allow her to publish my first piece of work and it was actually selected to be published in a local amateur publication.

And so, it was in the sharing and putting it out of my dresser drawer and saying “Wow, I really just want to share this, let people know that this is what I experienced, and just see what happens.”  It was really a “see what happens” type of thing.  And now that I’ve shared so much through the years — and I have quite a few pieces internationally published and working on an upcoming book to release a collection of my work — there have been messages from my friends, my loved ones, and even strangers now that look forward to the next piece or that have been moved somehow, and I write about very difficult things.

I would not have shared that before.  I would have only shared the happy things, the things that were light and the things that were funny.  But now I realize that life is life and it is what it is, and in order for me to help myself heal and help others heal, I have to talk about the realness of my processing, whether it’s through my grieving process or through getting to a new phase in my life and discovering myself and where I want to go from here, to be able to share the truth behind what I’m experiencing.

That helps me not only get inspired to move forward and do more powerful things for myself, but it also has allowed me to see how much inspiration comes out of my sharing for others, and that’s important to me now.  If I can be of value to other people and inspire them to share as well or to even ask or seek for help or advice — even though it’s not directed  to me — but it triggered something inside of them that says “Wow, I’m in this place where she was, and I’d like to feel light again too.”

Toni: Mali, it really is amazing the information that you have shared in just this small snapshot of time, and I can see listening as well to you that with the sharing and trying to get to that good and happy safe place that you need to be, taking it — again using the analogy of taking it out of the drawer — really goes back to what you said as far as how you help others explore their potential not only in the personal work but in the professional work where you encourage people to say it out loud and to write it down and that helps them to explore their own potential.  So I really appreciate you coming to the table and allowing others to benefit and learn from this interview, and for that I thank you.

Mali: Thank you so much for your time, and I was my pleasure to share.  And I hope that I will continue to practice sharing.

Toni: I hope so as well, and I hope to talk to you again soon, Mali.  Thank you so very much.

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For more information about Mali Phonpadith:  www.reflectionswithin.com

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