Day 41: Marcy Rubin

November 10, 2009 at 12:01 am, Category: Inspiration

“I get inspired listening to other people and seeing how they’re doing and what are their conflicts.  Because someone’s big conflict could be another person’s easy day, and we all deal with things differently.  And I get inspired by how people really work through their days and deal with life, you know, consistently.”

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Toni Reece: Marcy, thank you so much for joining us today.  And before we begin, can you please introduce yourself?

Marcy Rubin: Thanks, Toni.  My name is Marcy Rubin, and currently I am a life coach working specifically in the bipolar community.

Toni: Okay, with the work that you do and even personally, professionally, we’re talking about inspiration.  So who do you inspire, Marcy, and how do you go about that?

Marcy: Well, the people that I work with, I have been inspiring just tremendously.  I take people that are at that point where they want to transition back into, you know, a regular life.  The ups and downs of the bipolar have kind of mellowed off, and we talk about how they get back and get their relationships and their jobs and all those things that you do when you’re at a stage that you’re willing to go back into the real world, as we call it.

Toni: And how do you go about that?

Marcy: We look into things that excite them for jobs; you know, what are the kinds of things that you like to do?  Do you like to work around animals?  Do you like to be in an office?  And we kind of gear your senses towards that and then choose, finding careers that fit your values and what you desire.

Toni: So you really work with them on identifying what the core values are and desires and trying to match their options to that?

Marcy: Yes, absolutely.  I am bipolar, and when you deal with the illness, you kind of lose the sense of who you are for a while because you don’t really have control.  So, you know, we’re back at that place where you are starting to get the control; we start really looking into, okay, who are you again and what is it that made you happy?

Toni: When you’re working with people — and again it can move out of the job as well and the clients that you work with into your personal life — but when you’re working with people and inspiring them to look at the possibilities and options for their future, what do you do then to help them explore their potential?

Marcy: Well, first of all, I use myself as an example of someone who still goes through the mania, still goes through the depression, but lives a happy, fulfilling life going after my dreams and doing the things that I like to do.  So we look into their personal dreams and desires and the way they want to feel, and we really explore what they did before, what made them happy, what worked and what didn’t work.

Toni: Okay, and when you try to understand what worked and what didn’t work, and then what steps might you take in order to have them realize that potential?

Marcy: That’s a good question!  Everybody works a little bit differently.  I kind of go on personalities.  People that like to, you know, make lists of “I need to get out and join a support group”, “I need to do my resume.”  We’ll do lists for some people.  Other people kind of need to be baby steps, well-rounded, maybe mood charts; “How am I feeling today?”  Kind of track how they are doing so that we can step forward in a progression that’s best for them.

Toni: So you really kind of keep them focused on being aware of what’s happening now so that they can move towards that potential in the future?

Marcy: Absolutely.  Being mindful — which a lot of people don’t do regardless of an illness — but really paying attention to the present.  When you coach, you’re really working from now, this point on forward.  We’re really not going back into what was.  We just kind of use that as a strengthening; this is your foundation.  We’re going to take today and we’re going to think about tomorrow.

Toni: When you are working with others and just dealing with life in general, Marcy, what do you need to be inspired?  What do you seek for your own inspiration?

Marcy: I’m very simple in that I’m a people person, and just listening to people’s stories regardless of whether it’s illness or just talking about their children.  I get inspired listening to other people and seeing how they’re doing and what are their conflicts.  Because someone’s big conflict could be another person’s easy day, and we all deal with things differently.  And I get inspired by how people really work through their days and deal with life, you know, consistently.

Toni: Consistently is a good word there, isn’t it?

Marcy: Yeah.

Toni: When you’re listening to stories as part of keeping yourself inspired, are there any kind of tools or resources that you reach for or that you seek in order to help with your own inspiration?

Marcy: I just as myself try to be mindful and find the validation in each person’s life and goal and what makes them move forward.  Coming from the background of being bipolar, you lose a lot of that.  You get hopelessness and depression.  And during the mania, you think you can cure the world.  So I kind of take everything that they are doing and inspire myself to be like, you know, everybody has their own problems, their own roadblocks, and I’m inspired by everybody’s everyday … what they do.  I love to talk to people.  There are so many different people out there; I just get inspired by all of them really.  It’s very simple for me.

Toni: When you are looking to continuously explore your own potential, Marcy, what do you do?

Marcy: I take the challenges that I see other people taking and bring them back on myself, even within my own career.  I’m doing well, I’m going forward, but I might see someone else needing to take, you know, what’s that step to make you happy, and I’ll put it back on myself like what’s going to make me happy.  For me, I join my own support groups and meet new people, and I get on the internet and do the social networks and amazing people open up over the internet.  So I’m constantly trying to find people that are willing to speak out about the stigma about bipolar, and also that never thought about doing it before and now, after talking to me, feel like, “You know, I can stand ground and I can make that step.”  So it comes all full circle for me.

Toni: So looking for that sense of community, whether it is a physical support group, or the virtual support group is what I’m hearing, and also being inspired by other people’s challenges, and in order to do the work that you do.  Are there other types of resources that you need to tap into to stay strong yourself and other tools that you might use to help you continuously explore your own potential so that you can stay inspired to help others?  Are there things that you know you’re consciously reaching for?

Marcy: Yeah, there is.  Part of the stuff that I do with myself so I transfer it to my clients is, I believe, in having a complete support group when you have an illness, especially like bipolar.   So I want them to have doctors, have their family, have their friends which are issues that can be very hard with bipolar.  Join support groups, have a coach, eat well, and I take all that and I use it to keep moving forward.  The drugs and the medications change over the years.  Healthy eating changes over the years.  And I put that into my own practice of there is always something new and something better that you can try that may help you get even healthier for a longer period of time.

Toni: So you basically have to stay on top of what’s happening in that industry and in that world, that community.

Marcy: Absolutely.

Toni: And then do you take those on and try those on yourself before you pass those on to others?

Marcy: Yep, I talk about things with my doctors.  I go to different groups, or I’ll listen to a lot of telecalls and just kind of see.  Because there are two sides to everything, you know.  Everybody has their opinion, and kind of see what people are saying and how it works.  I’m always willing to try anything.  Over the years, our body changes and my medications and my treatment has changed, so you gotta kind of keep up with the knowledge that’s going on.  And even within coaching I’m constantly taking classes on different ways to coach people — whether it’s more intuitive or more tool-based — just so I can keep up.  And, you know, there are all different kinds of people that are out there, need to all work in different kinds of ways.

Toni: How do you see that the way that you seek inspiration — by listening to people’s stories and wondering how they are doing and being mindful, and also the way that you explore your potential by being a member of this community and staying on top of what’s happening in this world — how does that then translate into you moving forward with these people that you are helping?  How does that happen?  How do you use what you learn to keep moving them forward, to help them find out who they are?

Marcy: That’s a great question.  A lot of what I do is trying to educate people to help them educate their families that mental illness is not what we see on TV all the time.  With bipolar, there are 5.6 million people just in America, adults, meaning 18 and over, that have bipolar.  And that many people having it, it’s still hard for people to reach for help.  There’s that stigma.   So I take all that information and I speak up.  I’m like, look at all these people that are doing well that are surviving, that are doing great.

There’s hundreds of famous people that are well known for having bipolar, and we need to break the stigma.  So what I’m really trying to do is speak out on behalf … and other people are starting to speak out, like you know, “I can do this, it’s true.”  So the goal and the intent is to help people feel comfortable in their own skin and be able to make the stigma go away because they are comfortable in their own skin.

Toni: So the work that you do is really all about educating yourself, keeping yourself mindful, staying within that community, and also providing that community for others when you’re working with them.

Marcy: Absolutely.

Toni: Thank you, Marcy, for sharing your story with the Get Inspired! Project.  Your insight and this snapshot you’ve given us in this interview will be beneficial to others that will read and listen to it; and for that, I thank you so very much.

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For more information about Marcy Rubin:  www.marcyrubin.com

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