Day 37: Sandy Dempsey

November 6, 2009 at 12:01 am, Category: Inspiration

“ … one of the things I did a few years ago was I wrote a life essay, and I wrote it in the third person as if somebody was describing my life, and it was a life filled with passion and joy and love and people and being surrounded by beauty.  And so that’s like the guiding thing that I have and I hold up in front of me.”

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Toni Reece: I want to thank you so much for agreeing to take part in this project and interviews.  Before we begin with the questions, can you please introduce yourself?

Sandy Dempsey: Okay, first I want to say thank you, and my name is Sandy Dempsey.  I live in South Jersey, and I discovered this project through Barbara Winter and found it a fabulous thing that you’re doing, very inspiring in and of itself.

Toni: Thank you.

Sandy: I have a website called The Dreaming Café which is a blog where I share my journey in ways that I hope inspire people to begin or continue their own journey of self-discovery, and kind of a launching pad to build the dream I’ve always had of being self-employed.

Toni: I see.  Boy, that sounds exciting.  Our audio is a little rocky so we’ll have to forgive the listeners on that; it sounds as though there’s a little static in the background.

Sandy: Hold on one second, let me see if I can change this, hold on.  How’s this; is this better?

Toni: Oh, it’s much better, thank you.  Okay, Sandy, when you think about the work that you do and that you’ve done and people that are in your life and so forth, when you think about inspiration, who do you inspire and how do you go about that?

Sandy: I think that I inspire … and one of the things that I wanted to say about this question is that I think it’s a really great first question because a lot of us don’t think of what we contribute to others.  We always downplay what we actually do in the world, so I think this is a great question and it really got me to thinking.   I feel that, and I strive to inspire my friends and my family, especially my nieces and nephews.  When they came along, that made me look at the world a whole different way.

People I work with on a day-to-day basis, and especially the readers of my blog and newsletter, and even people that I just come in contact with in the daily world, whether it’s a waitress or a grocery store clerk, or you know, somebody that I meet in the park.  I do that, and those are the people that I feel that I inspire.  And I do that through sharing my story and my journey with people, trying to live as authentically as I can, saying what I’m going to do and following through doing what I say, interacting with people from a place of honesty and respect and engaging people on a daily basis, really listening to them and asking questions.

Toni: Do you get that opportunity to share your story, to become that example for others?  Because that’s what it sounds like really is your approach to how you might inspire others is through your own story and staying authentic and following through; how do you get to tell that story?

Sandy: Well, I do it through my blog and my newsletter but I also have …  When we’re just in conversations with people, when I’m out at lunch with friends or I’m at a workshop with people I’ve never met before, it’s just that people will say what are you doing and how did you get started?  Well, I’m a late bloomer.  I had these dreams since I was 16 but didn’t really start working on them until, you know, within the last 2 years; and that opens up a conversation and it goes back and forth.  It gives me an opportunity to share my story and then ask them to share theirs back with me.

Toni: Sandy, where did you find the courage to become that late bloomer?

Sandy: It started …  My father died in 1997, and that’s when my twin nephews were born and that really put me on a decade journey of trying to decide what I really wanted.  And I got tired of always dreaming and never taking action, you know?  So, at the end of 2007 was the tenth anniversary of my dad’s passing, and I realized that I was still just dreaming, you know?  Ten years.  I had all the ideas, all the plans, and I hadn’t really done anything, so really it just was no one thing, I just said you know, I have to start taking action.  Nothing’s going to happen.  Ten more years are going to pass whether I take action or not, and I just started writing, sharing my writing, and reaching out to people and establishing relationships and friendships with people.  It was hard, but it was the best thing that I ever did.

Toni: So it really was setting that example of turning your dreams into action and that is how you inspire others; and I appreciate you sharing that.  When you are working with others, how do you think you help them explore their potential?

Sandy: Well, one of the things I do is when I’m not necessarily working with people — just like if I’m out with friends or, like I said, if I’m at a workshop with people — I really try to listen actively when they are talking.  So many people have so much to say but nobody ever really listens to them.  So when I’m in a situation like that, I really try to actively listen and ask questions that will help them dig a little bit deeper, and I try to do that.  And I watch their body language to see if they’re comfortable with sharing.  If they seem like they’re not that comfortable, they don’t want to go there yet; so I’ll like gauge the questions that I ask.  And I just try to really create an atmosphere, a nonjudgmental supportive atmosphere, where people can begin sharing some of the things that they’re thinking about and feeling in a way that helps them discover maybe something that they want to do or recognize something that they’re already doing.

Toni: So it’s really building them a safe place where they can trust you?

Sandy: Yes.

Toni: I see.  When you are seeking inspiration, Sandy, where do you go?  What do you need for inspiration?

Sandy: For me, like I’m in introvert, so I need the time balance between time alone and time with others; so a lot of times I really need that downtime.  I need time to read, to write, and reflect, and that’s really how I process things.  But I also need that to be balanced with time spent with positive people, you know, brainstorming, discussing ideas and concepts, you know, sharing stories, and just having fun.

Writing and reading and reflecting and learning.  I mean, learning is a big part of that, whether it’s through formal classroom or through a workshop or online teleclass.  I need that to keep moving forward, but at the same time I need that balance with … and this is something I’ve only recently discovered in the last couple years, that really to keep going, it’s those interactions with other people, you know?  Like I said, whether it’s standing in the grocery store and just striking up a conversation with someone in front of you or behind you, or just smiling at people and just having a daily interaction with people.  I’ve discovered, like I said recently, that is so important.

Toni: When you are working with others or you’re in the presence of others — which is what you say that you need in order to kind of feed from that and stay inspired with that — do you ever reach for any type of tools or a methodology to help you to stay inspired?

Sandy: I don’t know.  Like I said, all this is really new for me.  I’m just kind of winging it, you know?  I mean, everything I’ve done in the last year, I feel like I’ve leaped off the cliff about ten times in the last ten months.  So I’m still exploring everything and exploring ways to interact with people.  Just teaching an online class, which is my first online class, in August, really taught me a lot.  If you are an introvert, it’s a way to interact with people, but also have that time alone.

And social media is really big.  I’m a huge Twitter fan, and that’s how I first heard about Get Inspired! because people were tweeting about it and I’m tweeting about it, and I’ve met people from all over the world that we engage in conversation both online and off, so those relationships carry over.  So I guess when it comes to tools, I would say that all the new technology that’s coming out to bring people together that really transcends any type of global or any type of national boundaries.  It eliminates all of those, and everybody is on a level playing field.

Toni: When you’re looking at doing the work that you do and keeping that, the dreaming alive and keeping it real into action items — which is what you said was really your turning point — and when you’re exploring your own potential and you’re doing your teleclasses or looking for teleclasses, what are you going through when you’re exploring your own potential to move those dreams into action?  What are you looking at?  What are you doing?

Sandy: Well, I’m trying to …  I mean, one of the things I did a few years ago was I wrote a life essay, and I wrote it in the third person as if somebody was describing my life, and it was a life filled with passion and joy and love and people and being surrounded by beauty.  And so that’s like the guiding thing that I have and I hold up in front of me.  And so when I’m looking at a teleclass or when I decide if I’m going to teach a class or if I’m going to go out and give a talk at the PTA, that life that I’ve envisioned is what’s guiding me and how I want to move forward.  Does that answer the question, because I’m not …

Toni: You absolutely did.  So what I’m hearing from you is that one of the tools that you used to explore your own potential was to write that life essay.  And so writing that life essay provided that path, and explaining your life and passion and joy and beauty is what you hold up as a mirror in order to, you know, walk forward and keep those dreams moving into action.  That’s what I heard you say.

Sandy: Yes.

Toni: And so, I would imagine you can feel when you’re not on that path.

Sandy: Yes, and it’s very apparent.  I mean, one of the things that for me …  I mean, I can’t remember not reading and writing, but exploring who I am and what I want through journaling and writing has been one of the mainstays of my life.  And that’s why, like I said, I started teaching that online journaling class to show people that journaling can be an opportunity for self-discovery.  It can be a very positive experience.

A lot of people turn to journaling when they’re in a tough situation or they’re being overwhelmed with emotions and they whip out a journal and, you know, they’ll pour it all out and they’ll feel great, and then the next time they pick up the journal is when they’re feeling bad again.  But what I found over the last few years and most of life is that if there is a way to explore … I mean, nobody’s going to see it, it’s just for you.  If you’re taking an online class, you only share what you want to share because you’re doing all that exploring on your own.  But it can be such a positive experience and a way to discover so much about yourself that it is such a great tool.

Toni: I would imagine that people who are in your company, the people who you work with and benefit from, your stories, your workshops, your blogs, and just the path and information that you’ve shared in this 15 minutes as far as how you have learned your own self-discovery, using the journal, how it worked for you, finding that courage to turn those dreams into actions; that has absolutely been wonderful nuggets of information that you will now share with others as part of this interview, and for that I thank you.

Sandy: And I thank you, Toni, for embarking on such a great journey yourself and taking this project on.  And I wish you the best of luck, and I’ll be telling everybody about it.  Thank you so much.

Toni: You’re quite welcome.  Thank you, Sandy, and good luck to you.

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For more information about Sandy Dempsey:  http://thedreamingcafe.com

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