Day 30: Helene Desruisseaux

October 30, 2009 at 12:01 am, Category: Inspiration

“I mean, I used to chuckle when I was little, “You’ll see, I’ll grow up to be an eccentric” – and I did!  You know, there are many ways of being eccentric as in — in the positive meaning of the word — you know, being a little different.  And so there’s a celebration in that.”

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Toni Reece: Helene, thank you so much for agreeing to take part in this project, and before we begin the questions, can you please introduce yourself?

Helene Desruisseaux: You’re welcome, Toni.  My name is Helene Desruisseaux ,and I am a corporate escapee turned business life coach, and I am very happy to be part of this project because that’s really near and dear to my heart.  I know what it’s like to go through life with not enough inspiration, and we need it right now, so this is a great project you’ve got going on.

Toni: Well, thank you very much for agreeing to take part in it.  A corporate escapee – I love that term!  The very first question that I want to ask you is who do you inspire, and how do you do that?

Helene: Well, what’s near and dear to my heart is a combination of practical and esoteric, so I really like to be in the world of business with inspiration, which I why I sort of relate very much to your project.  And I decided a while ago to focus on entrepreneurs, and specifically entrepreneurs that wanted to have their business really reflect who they really were.  And that’s probably because of really feeling what it’s like to be working in jobs that might be financially rewarding and in some ways rewarding, but they don’t really resonate well enough with who you are deeply as a person; and I know what that does after a while to the soul.

At first, you know, you have a lot of learning going on, and learning is interesting.  And you generally have coworkers or clients that you like — and that’s the saving grace — but sooner or later when something doesn’t really match your deepest self, then you’re going to suffer from the mismatch.  So that’s what I’ve been focusing on, and lately I’m niching it even further to sensitive people that are in the business world.

Now, there’s a fair bit of literature on sensitive people, meaning people that have a nervous system that’s more finely tuned than average, that would experience stimuli more than an average person, and especially other people.  Sensitive people feel what other people feel more than others, and they have a number of subcategories that can react one way or another.  They either shut down or they can develop a crust, or they can shy away from the business world; and that’s a darn shame because the world needs sensitive people with all of the wisdom.  Historically, they’ve been the wise advisor group of people, and they’ve provided a good balance with the action-oriented people in the world.  So, that’s really what I’m looking to inspire, because I know what it’s like, obviously; like most people, we are interested in things that resonate with who we are, so that’s who I am as well; and I know what it can do, both positive and negative.

Toni: So you’re saying that you, yourself, you are a sensitive person.

Helene: Yes.

Toni: And so, how you inspire others is to focus in on that person who is sensitive in order to allow them to reach their own potential, is that what I’m hearing, to inspire them?

Helene: Right.  Well, I think sensitive people that are not on the extreme end of the continuum or the very end of the continuum often don’t know that they are, and they don’t understand why they might be facing certain challenges throughout their work life.  And so the first part about it is reconciling people with who they are and helping them understand what their particular quirks are.

I mean, I used to chuckle when I was little, “You’ll see, I’ll grow up to be an eccentric” – and I did!  You know, there are many ways of being eccentric as in — in the positive meaning of the word — you know, being a little different.  And so there’s a celebration in that.  Not all sensitive people are eccentric; I just happen to be one.  But it’s also like, you know, really understanding who we are.  And it’s amazing how much we don’t, especially those of us who came from a very demanding, rewarding, successful type of background because we were so geared to performing, and we did so, I mean, we did really well.  But as a price to pay, sometimes we’ve lost touch with maybe your little nuances of who we are.  So I got interested in nontraditional tools like hand analysis or other unusual assessments and those kinds of things in addition to the more traditional coaching stuff.

So I inspire them by having people inspire themselves by first understanding what might have made them different and understanding why they face this or that challenge and how it relates to who they are.  And then understanding that there’s nothing wrong with them; they just need to manage those particular aspects of themselves better because no one taught them, because it’s not a very understood phenomenon.

About 20% of the population are sensitive and, in my world, which is the coaching, growth-oriented, spiritually-oriented crowd, it’s way higher than 20%.  Yet not that many people know about the topic, which is really interesting.  So it affects everything from negotiating to pricing yourself adequately to the way that you market, to the willingness to market, to understanding really what your uniqueness is in terms of your offering, because sensitive people, we feel other people’s feeling; we also rejoice in other people’s successes, and we can get lost in our own self.

So, long answer to say I inspire people by having them tune in to who they really are and really seeing how great that is, so they inspire themselves … but through a mirror; I’m the mirror.  And that’s another aspect of sensitive people is we, more than average, need to think out and use a human mirror as a guide because that’s part of our nature so we really, really need it.  So they inspire themselves, but I’m just the conduit.

Toni: You’ve given a great deal of information and insight into just the first question, and I also think that you answered the second question, which is, what do you do to help explore the potential in others.  And what I heard was being that human mirror and allowing the uniqueness to shine forth — and I also wrote down the word “empathy” — that there must be a great deal of empathy from yourself to work with sensitive people, having been sensitive yourself.  And then also I heard a lot of how you explore their potential by using maybe nontraditional tools and marrying them with some conventional tools.

Helene: That’s right.  First, empathy is big in the sensitive world; that’s one of their gifts of their trait, because you feel what other people feel so you’re naturally going to be more emphatic because you can’t really escape that; as opposed to other people who may not be so always tuned into what other people are feeling, so it comes with the trait.

But the other part of it, too, is the need for more feedback than an average person for a number of reasons, including what sensitivity does in the early development part of our lives.  So we need a constant trial and error and more feedback; so we need that from another person.  We’re not the type of people who do that well without a mentor, someone that understands us, even though we need a lot of alone time depending on our form of sensitivity; it’s that paradox there.  So I would add the feedback, as well, as part of the tools.

Toni: I’m wondering then, with the next question, what do you need to be inspired?  How do you keep yourself inspired in order to help others?  What do you look for?

Helene: Well, like all human beings, I really respond really well to stories, people’s stories. So again, I love your project.  I get inspired by what other people are doing and also get inspired by the animal world in addition to the human world.  So I’m a sucker for the “Chicken Soup of the Soul” type of books because, again, we are built as human beings to love stories, and it’s how people navigated through whatever happened to them and how they made it through; and I’m fascinated by all sorts of things.

Socially, if we meet at a social event, I’ll ask you questions about why you ended up in the location you are or the job you are.  People stories are what I find totally inspiring.  Also for me, what really matters most in terms of life is more respect and more kindness; so I get inspired by people who are able to increase the level of human and animal respect and kindness.  That’s what I really like to hear.

I also enjoy people who’ve met through challenges and have risen and have won at the top and all of that stuff.  That’s also very inspiring, but the aspect of, again, going back to the empathy, right, of extending acknowledgement; acknowledging what another person’s value really is and helping someone really find their value.  That’s what I find inspiring more so than the big, major, “they became first of whatever”; whatever type of stories, which can be inspiring as well, but that’s less what I look for than they really finally saw and appreciated others and themselves.

Toni: When you are seeking inspiration and you’re listening to these stories and the curiosity that comes from, you know, learning about others and challenges, are there tools that you reach for that help you to explore your own potential?

Helene: Yes.  First, I’m an energy-based person and that really helps me get in tune with the deep quietness which is where I access my spirituality; so I have 4 or 5 different types of energy-healing hobbies, basically.  So, that also transpires into my daily access to inspiration.  For example, Chi Kung, Tai Chi, slow movements where you get into that flow of the energy of something that really is at the undercurrent of who we really are; and similar to that is like walks in nature with similar idea.

It’s the bigness of the world, of the universe, and what it is.  That’s what I find really will open the doorway for me.  So, it means I need to make time every day for some way to access that; otherwise, I find that I might do a lot but it will feel eventually … sooner than later it will start feeling disconnected.  And it will be a lot of activity, but it doesn’t really anchor me to what’s deep; and then that’s the kind of stuff that can throw you into overwhelm, is my experience, for me.

Toni: And when you are going through that exploration process and using the energy base and your spiritual energy and walks into nature and so forth — and taking that time so that it can stay real, is really what I’m hearing — you need the things you’re working on to stay real for you.  How does that relate then and connect back to how you use that exploration of your own potential and inspiration in helping others to stay inspired in the sensitive people?  How do you correlate the two?

Helene: Well, I think again my believing in energy, and I think most people would agree, though not necessarily in the same words.  I think who we are really is something that … let me rephrase …  When I can really tune into who I am, other people can feel it more.  And so when I talk to people — whether they’re clients or whether they’re other people that I would be connecting with — when I’m in touch with that depth and, okay, and appreciating with the little quirky package that I have — and we all have our little quirky packages — then people can really sense that and people really want to connect with us not just for the technical knowledge that we may have or whatever experience we have or whatever tools that we can offer, they really want …  It’s pretty simple.

People want to feel happier; they want to feel more positive, more optimistic, they want to have confidence in you, and all of that is really an energy transmission.  And so when I can connect and remind myself to be really in tune with that part of me that’s the same as the part of anyone that’s bigger and a real source of inspiration and strength and, you know, whatever that is, then people can sense that and that allows me to inspire.  Because otherwise, my words, to me, will feel like they might be correct and they might be all the same kind of thing I might have said on another day, but they don’t land as well unless I have that connection.

Toni: So I’m really fascinated by this interview because what I heard, and I hope this is correct, is that at the end of this for you in working with people and also dealing with other relationships, that you may have some really fascinating tools that you use but if there’s not a heartbeat behind those tools, then there might be more of an emptiness.

Helene: That’s right, and I believe that that’s the same for anyone, no matter how good you are at what you do.  And again, of course, I’m saying my own opinion here.  Someone may react differently, but the kind of people that I attract and myself would not react as well to someone who is not communicating on an energy level as well as a mental and maybe verbal level.

Toni: Well, I cannot thank you enough for the information that you  have provided in this short snapshot of time for the Get Inspired! Project, and I know that many people who read and/or listen to this interview will benefit and learn from you; and for that we appreciate that so much, and thank you so very much .

Helene: Oh, you’re welcome, and pretty soon I will have most of my site on the sensitive stuff, and it’s helened.com.  And hey, anyone who wants to say “Hi,” I’d love to hear anyone’s history, story, opinion; it’s all so fascinating.

Toni: Fantastic!  Thank you so very much, and we will talk soon.

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For more information about Helene Desruisseaux:  www.WhereBusinessMeetsSpirit.com

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