Day 26: Ruth Mott

October 26, 2009 at 12:01 am, Category: Inspiration

“I may not be able to dance anything like Michael Jackson, but I can dance, so I do that.  Poetry, theatre, a good article or interesting blog help me to examine my own potential; and you have to reach higher, longer, deeper, and you get it.  The answers aren’t out there … they’re in you, they’re in me.”

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Toni Reece: Thank you so much, Ruth, for agreeing to be interviewed for the project.  And before we go into the questions, can you take a couple of minutes to introduce yourself?

Ruth Mott: Yes, of course, and I am very grateful to be considered as part of this project.

Toni: Thank you.

Ruth: Oh, I think it’s wonderful.  In any case, my name is Ruth Mott.  I’m an executive coach, and I’ve been an executive coach for 17 years.  I also have been many other things in my life.  I have reinvented myself several times, so I know the journey that that involves, and I have clients all over the country and in Europe as well.

Toni: Okay, great!  Based on what you just said, as far as your clients — and I’m sure relationships as well — Ruth, who do you inspire and how?

Ruth: It’s a very good question.  I hope to inspire others, but to know if I do, I guess you have to ask them.  However, in my work and in my life, I do indeed encourage others to pursue their dreams, to take risks in pursuit of those dreams.  I’ve done that all my life, and so I can relate to the concerns and fears and joys of going after something you really desire, or whatever dream it is you have fashioned for yourself.   I attempt to inspire my children, my friends, my clients, of course, my colleagues, and anyone else who seeks my help.  I guess I do that by being very present in their lives, by holding their hand — figuratively speaking — and reminding them of their dreams and their ability to achieve them.

Toni: Okay.  And when you say that you are very present in their lives, can you give me an example of what you mean by that?

Ruth: Well, one of the things that happens, particularly with my clients — and it is the same for my children, my family, my friends, but we’ll talk about it in terms of my clients — I am available to my clients 24/7 because life happens.  And when they reach a point at which they need to talk to me or want to pass something by me or question me, they need to be able to get to me immediately, and I give them that access.  So I am right there with them 24/7, and when I tell you that they have taken advantage of that, believe me!  But I love it, and I think it’s the only way for me, anyway, to really help people take that step, that big step; you know how they say the first step will kill you?  That big leap to going after what they want, to keep their eyes on the prize and have the clarity and the courage to do it, and I try to support that.

Toni: Do you support that courage and clarity, or is that part of your inspiration, that you help provide the courage?

Ruth: I can’t separate those, Toni.  They are really one in the same for me.   Sometimes I’m more inspired by clients than I think I inspire them.  You know, when you see someone reach something, no matter what the goal, no matter whether it’s well beyond their reach but they’ve made a step toward it, or they’ve actually attained it, but it’s the most inspiring thing in the world for me, and it just gives me … it’s just such a central part of my life.

Toni: How do you explore potential?  When you’re inspiring them by being present and again holding their hands and being available to them to, you know, help them with that courage and support to follow their dreams, how do you then help them explore that potential?

Ruth: The most important thing in doing that is listening.  Now I know that sounds boring, but that is the most important thing.  When I ask them questions , I listen to the answers.  When they talk, I listen to what they’re saying; their concerns, their fears, their strengths, their vulnerabilities as they see them.  As well as listening to what they are saying, I’m listening to what they’re not saying.  Often, they hide their own potential from themselves, and it’s in the things they don’t say.  I try to help them see how the roles they play every day are influenced by their talents and gifts, because people often don’t see that either.  They’re just doing their jobs or they’re living their lives, but they’re not looking at it in terms of the specialness that they bring to it.

And I try to help them see how to make those talents and gifts work toward whatever they can commit themselves to, because if they can’t commit themselves to it, then no matter what they say, it’s what I call the words and not the music.  You can say it, but you have to really commit yourself to it, and that’s the piece I think that most people need the help with, is helping reach down and get that commitment and helping them, as I said, keep their eyes on the prize.  It’s often fearful to go for it, and I think we all need someone to help us see ourselves and see the path towards going forth, because you know, we might fail.

Toni: I really like the comment as well that you made, the words and not the music as far as how that equates to commitment.  Can you just explain that just a little bit more to me, please?

Ruth: Sure.  I often … and we all do it, mind you.  Everybody does it, and this is true with my clients, it is certainly true with my family, I can tell you that.  But we will say “You know, I really want to do “X.”  And when I look with that person at the behaviors, what they’ve done up this point about “X”, you find that they have done nothing that relates to “X.”  So the next question is, “Well, if you really want to do “X”, why are you doing “Y”?”  And they say “Well, because that’s what I know how to do and it’s my comfort zone.”  So then the question is, “Okay, let’s examine what it’s going to take to do “X”,” and when we do that, they get to realize — and I certainly recognize right away — that it’s what we used to call lip service, right?  It’s the “Oh yes, I do want to do this, but no, I’m not willing to take the risks, take the blows, go learn something new; I’m not willing to do that.”  Well, then it’s just words and not music.

Toni: Okay, thank you for that.  Ruth, what do you need to be inspired?  What do you look for?  Where do you seek inspiration?

Ruth: That was such a good question.  I need music, art, theatre, poetry.  I need family, friends, and colleagues, all of whom I want to be honest with me.  I need people to be honest with me.   I need to know how other people have overcome.  How have you overcome?  How has Mother Theresa overcome?  Not that I think I’m Mother Theresa, but those are the inspirational people who do things that are way outside anything you would ever do; or I’m sorry, I don’t mean you, but I would ever do … so I need to know how others have done it, what they’ve overcome and how they’ve done it.  I need to spend time being grateful for the talents and the gifts I’ve been given.  As I said before, every time I see a client, a friend, or a family member achieve something they truly wanted, I really am profoundly inspired by that.

Toni: So part of what you need for inspiration and what I’m hearing is not only the things that you enjoy, that you draw inspiration from music and art and theatre, family and friends, but also examples of inspirational stories and people overcoming challenges.  And then you also ended that by saying that you have to remember to be grateful and being grateful inspires you?

Ruth: It does.  It does; just spending some time being grateful, and everybody does it in their own way.  You know, I have my ways and I’m sure you have yours, but when I do that, when I really dig deep to find gratitude for my life and my ability to do this — my ability to help other people as well as my ability to do things I want — I just sit quietly with that, and that is very inspirational to me.  I’m then energized and can go forward with a clear mind.

I don’t know, I think going to bed at night being grateful is a pretty terrific thing, and I am grateful to be able to do it.  Because when you look and see how many people can’t do that in so many parts of the world that are just in dire straits and horror and terror and murder and all kinds of horrible things, I don’t know how we cannot be grateful; but that’s just me.

Toni: When you are looking for inspiration and feeling inspired, what else do you do then, Ruth, to explore your own potential, to continuously look at your own potential and move that forward?

Ruth: That too is a wonderful question.   The first thing I do is recognize my belief in myself.

Toni: And how do you do that?

Ruth: If I can do that for others, I need to be able to do it for myself, and so again, it’s looking at who did I help today?  That’s one of the questions I ask myself, “Who did I help today?  What did you get today that you were really happy you were able to do?”  And in just exploring, just in asking those questions of myself — the same questions I ask the clients I ask of myself — and when I do that, I begin to recognize the talents I do have are wonderful  And you know what?  I could reach a little farther today, or I want to write a book … I’m going to be writing a book, but I’ve never done that ever, but I’m going to find out how to do it, and doing it.  So, just continuing to reach out and recognize that I have the ability to do that.

And then I talk with people who listen.  I talk with people who believe in my abilities and who are willing to be honest with me.  Honesty is key.  And then again, the arts help me get in touch with myself.  And I listen to music, whether it’s great rock music or wonderful classical music.  I love to dance, and when I start dancing and I think, “You know, you really should sit down.  You’re old.  Sit down.”  I think “Nah, it’s okay … I may not be able to dance anything like Michael Jackson, but I can dance, so I do that.  Poetry, theatre, a good article or interesting blog help me to examine my own potential; and you have to reach higher, longer, deeper, and you get it.  The answers aren’t out there, Toni; they’re in you, they’re in me.

Toni: Well, Ruth, what I’m hearing you say as far as what you need for inspiration and exploring your own potential is really … the statement that you made recognizing and believing in yourself and how many people did you help today and what did you learn today, but yet stepping outside of your comfort zone and not being afraid … to your example, you know, that if you love to dance not letting that stop you, not letting an assumption, well your “I better stop,” your comment, “because I’m old,” but to keep dancing.  I thought, you know, that is inspiring and it is a way to believe in yourself and to self-affirm.

And that’s what I’m hearing you say; that you have the ability to do it.  And recognizing that you have the ability to do it will explore further potential to do more, which is exactly what you’ve said in the very beginning of this interview which is your work and who you inspire and how to be present for them and to help them explore their own potential when they might be hiding that potential.  So it comes down to believing in yourself even for your clients.  It sounds like that’s the work that you do, which is removing what they’re hiding behind so that they can believe in themselves and their inspiration as far as moving them forward.

Ruth: And they can access their gifts and their talents and they can add to them.  They can marry them, invite one to the other; I don’t mean marry somebody else, but you know what I’m saying, that they can connect.  Connect, connect, connect … but they have to connect with themselves first.  And I can’t help people do that if I don’t do that myself.

Toni: Right.  Well, Ruth, I’ll tell you, one of the things that you said as far as exploring potential, which is who did you help today, I cannot express enough gratitude to you for participating in this Get Inspired! Project today.  And this interview will allow others to have a snapshot into how you inspire and also what you need, and people will definitely learn from that and benefit from that.  And for this 15 minutes today, I cannot thank you for all that you’ve done, so thank you so much for participating in this project.

Ruth: I can’t tell you how grateful I am to be part of this.  I just think this is the most wonderful thing I’ve heard about for a long time.

Toni: Thank you, Ruth.  Well, I hope to talk to you soon and, again, thank you so very much.

Ruth: You are very welcome.  Thank you for calling, Toni.

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For more information about Ruth Mott:  www.mottcoaching.com

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